Fostering sibling rivalry to improve behaviour

[overlysentimental]

Recipe for disaster?

DS1 is 4 and DS2 is 16 months.

DS1 has been having the most appalling bedtimes recently and, despite being knackered, is refusing to stay in bed until gone 9pm.

DS2 has a lovely bedtime and lies down nicely at 7pm and goes to sleep.

In an ideal world, DS1 then has a few extra stories, has a few songs, and then goes to sleep some time between 7:30 and 8pm.

This morning I gave DS2 a sticker for having such a nice bedtime which DS1 was not happy about. I'm thinking of having a reward chart for both of them.

Will this cause a lifetime of resentment between them or is it a good idea?

Am at a loss as to what to do.

DS2 won't really have appreciated What the sticker was for, and DS1 was put out.

Not a good move.

I'd give DS1 a chart, but not DS2 so there is no competition.

No DS2 hadn't a clue and tried to eat it

I was very conscious that I was doing it purely to prove a point to DS1.

Have no other idea how to make the little angel stay in bed!

But then ds2 may be aware of more than you think,

certainly my ds by 16 months loved stickers and understood rewards

if nothing else then it proves to ds1 that if he behaves well he gets rewarded and he will see

that by watching ds2 getting stickers.

It doesn't matter whether ds2 eats them or not, he will still love them!

IMO there'll be more rivalry by having stickers for one and not the other.

I'd say go for it!

I wouldn't go there, personally..

My DD is 4 too and has a very acute sense of equality.. and sibling rivalry

I did a star chart for dd when she was 3.5 and being a pain at bedtime. She got a sticker for getting into bed quickly and sensibly (she got to put that one on the chart immediately - I took it off the wall and gave it to her) and another in the morning when she woke up if she had stayed in bed. She liked the fact that she got one straight away and another in the morning. She then got to choose a 'treat' (she chose new socks for Baby Annabell ) when she had collected a certain amount (10 I think).

Ds (20 months at the time) is great at going to bed so I didn't do anything for him. He was too little to see that dd had a chart so he didn't mind. Dd liked the fact that she had her own chart - didn't seem to notice or care that ds didn't have one.

I would definitely recommend the chart for ds1 but personally wouldn't bother about ds2 - it's not an issue he has.

Neither of mine seem to notice if I heavily praise one for doing something I want the other to do.