Bad words...........

[pixierara]

I really need some help here.....DS2 is 3 nearly 4 and a delightful, loving, caring boy MOST of the time. However, he has picked up some bad words at school (from a friend of his who has older siblings) and (probably my fault here) when he told me to "shut up" I reacted shocked/angry and timed him out. I did react badly but I was genuinely shocked to hear him speak like this. He also uses the words "idiot" "stupid" which really really get on my nerves.

I have tried all the usual techniques - ignored, discussed how sad it makes me feel to hear him speak like this etc etc but it is not making a blind bit of difference.

This has been going on for months now and I am at a loss as to what to do next.

Does anyone have any experience of this?

I'm afriad it won't get any better once he starts primary either. All you can do is explain that you would rather he didn't speak to people like that.
Even programmes like Horrid Henry will mean he picks it up casually without even realising. My ds started going around saying "smelly nappy baby poo" to everyone! That's what Henry says to perfect peter
He also picked up idiot from that as well. You can't shelter them from bad words.
DD says "oh my god" all the time and I think it sounds weird to hear a child saying that. Not that I'm religious, it just seems wrong so I try to correct her into saying oh my goodness but it doesn't work.

My dd is very impresionable and uses words much worse than that. This morning she decided she was going to call a boy on her school bus a bollocky dick brain because he calls her a fucking bitch. I told her that she had two more journeys with him so she should ignore it. She decided then that the worst thing she could call his is 'stupid'. I don't know why she thinks stupid is the worst word she knows but it isn'tone we ever use.
Can you sit your son down (again) and tell him these are nasty words and each time he uses one you'll remove a privilege? i know at that age they have fewer than when they are older, but less telly time or a favorite toy might work.

I would not go down the route of withdrawing privileges or making a huge fuss; it just means they focus on the words for longer at a time.

What I did was just to stop them firmly when they used language I didn't like: "no, I don't want to hear that!" and then move on. I did explain why some expressions that were used by even well spoken and polite adults we knew were not acceptable to us (such as "my God"- I am a Christian and we have Christian friends). It seems to have worked: neither the 13yo nor the 9yo swears in my presence, and though they admit that they might while with their peers, they also know not to do it unless they are absolutely sure of the company. Which is good enough for me.

We did use to have a family swear kitty (obviously only possible if dcs have pocket money), but I don't think either of them ever had to contribute to it: it was more to show them that the adults of the family had to stick to the same rules.

For small children I think a response of 'we don't say 'shut up' we say 'please be quiet'' (or whatever) is enough explanation and they get the message pretty quickly. With older children you might advise 'we don't use that word at all' if it's particularly bad or for milder stuff 'we can use that word at home but not in front of teachers and granny'... boundary setting.

I happen to think a well-placed swear-word is a useful skill to pass on.... I'm suspicious of people that never curse!