DS is very well behaved with me but...

[JoannaLewis]

when his dad is around he starts spitting at me and wants his dad to hit me! Dh finds it all very amusing. Dh is very laid back and does not raise his voice or 'do discipline'. DS starts hitting me and slapping me and DH doesn't say anything, which makes it worse. Had a terrible morning this morning where we both had a go at ds. Why does ds behave like this?

What can I do to break this pattern. It's just recently started happening about a week ago.

I just feel like walking out....it's really getting to me and I feel like I'm doing everything on my own. The more withdrawn dh is (he is out watching football everyday!) the more ds jumps on him when he gets home and spits at me.

Please believe me when I say, we don't spit, or swear or hit. Where is he picking this up from then? I'm so embaressed. I asked the nursery and they said he's wonderful, so it's only with me!

DH does not sound as though he's of much help. Maybe your DS is trying to get a reaction from him... does DH have much to do with DS at all? Could it be a lack of daddy involvement?

Not sure where DS would be picking up spitting from... could it be from something on TV?

I expect you will need to deal with issues that affect you... so if DS spits at you, you deal with DS - as DH isn't going to do anything. Spitting at you could result in immediate time-out in his bedroom perhaps.

Has this been going on a while, or only once the football has started? Why can't DH watch football at home with DS - maybe DS wants to learn about the game. After watching a match they could then head outdoors and have a kick around to make them both a bit tired.

I think you need to speak to your husband. Let him know that you are not happy with how he is dealing with ds. Do this when you are alone.

How old is DS?

Some advice deal with his behaviour very seriously and firmly. Let DS know that you are not putting up with this type of behaviour.

Children know who to play up with. Once you hubby starts being firmer then you can both deal with this together letting DS know that mummy and daddy will not put up with naughty behaviour.

Its not so much what he is doing but how you both deal with it.

Thanks for the advice. I think I need to have words with the dh and make sure we are both working on this together. Today was much better.