So thinking about having baby number 2...

[babydan]

OK so my husband and I are planning baby number 2 sometime over the next year or so.

DS is 3 in July and therefore with be rougly 4 when the next one comes along- all being well.

So I am an only child and have lots of questions for you all!....

Am I mad to consider another when I am finally enjoying the age that ds is?

He was a pretty grumpy baby and a lot of hard work, lots of breastfeeding, crying constantly, little sleep on and on but now he's great and sleeps fantastically well in his own room etc.

So how much would another baby disrupt him? He starts school part time in September so would get time with new baby and he will have a bit of independance away from me.

What's this age gap like? Will thy have anything in common at certain ages or is the gap too big?- I realise a lot of that is dependant upon personalities though.

So tell me about your experiences of having number 2 please!

What's this age gap like and will it hit me like a tonne of bricks going from 1 to 2? (I fear the answer is yes!)

Thank you ladies.

I have a 3.5 year gap and it has worked brilliantly for us

DS is potty trained, keeping through and can entertain himself

Going back to sleepless nights was a shock but i weirdly coped better because i had to go out and about and could't stay at home thinking about how tired i was

DS dotes on DD - first few weeks were tricky but now it is great

It was much easier in some ways - invest in a sling though so you can play with the older child whilst having your hands free

The first few months breastfeeding were very intense but then levelled off

My sister and I had 5 yrs between us and mum said my sister didn't notice me for months because she was at school and then I was asleep when she came home.

I have 2 years between mine and it has got easier now there is one set of nappies and the older one can follow instructions etc.

It is always hard having a baby and an older child but I found the second baby fitted into my life as I had a routine etc - the first baby was the hardest for me for sure.

Thank you rubyslippers I hope I have the same experience as you.

My ds is toilet trained (though not at night yet) and is generally lovely but does require

a lot of input and talking to which I love and hopefully won't be affected too much by the new baby.

Naively hoping I can talk/ read to him and breastfeed at the same time.

Good that he will have 5 mornings a week at school which wil hopefully he'll enjoy and it'll

entetain him for a few hours a day.

Just fel a bit anxious about it really as I was an only child and was always sure I
didn't want ds being an only too but I

didn't really enjoy the baby phase at all.

I found the first 2 years very draining and a bit boring if I am honest. Much better when they can talk/ argue with me!

Thanks Hambo sounds like whatever the age gap it's hard work but I found ds such hard

going and it was such a shock to the system being on call 24 hours a day and having

someone so dependant on me. I am hoping it will come a little more naturally to me this time and the baby will

just have to sort of slot into our existing routine but not sure how realistic that is!

Oh that's a very positive post Pixie, thank you! Wow 5 children, certainly can't have put you off going from 1 to 2 then! .

I am not expecting them to get on all the time, or even be friends but it would be nice if there are thngs we can do as a

family rather than thinking they are too separate in age to enjoy any of the same things in the beginning but I may be worrying un-neccissarilly about that.

Think we are going to go for it regardless but just want to be prepared!!!!!

Just hoping that the next baby is a little bit more chilled than ds was but at least this time

we can sort of put it into perspective and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi there
There's 4 years between ours, dd is now 5 and the boy is 1. All I can say that their babyhoods couln't be more different, she was a very easy baby and he isn't. BUT I'm so heartened by the fact they they a) get on like a house on fire and b) dd is happy to help out with her brother. It'll all be different but you'll feel more confident because you've now got a bedrock of knowledge. And who knows? Maybe your 2nd will be angelic and easy, and you'll be wondering what on earth you were worried about! My other half is an only child and he was adamant that ours wouldn't be, which I was so-so about, but now I'm really glad we did it again. Nuff said, must get back to work now. Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine. 4 yr gap working well so far here!
Cheers
Charon

Thanks for replying. Very nice to hear it's been such a success for you dudhope.

Everyone keeps saying 'it'll be so different next time, you never get 2 babies the same'

but I am of the thinking that lightening can strike twice!

It worries me that the next baby may be the same or (dare I even say it.....)

worse than ds was and I want to be able to enjoy it this time.

I am crossing my fingers that the next one is a little easier and won't cry constantly for the first 18 months!

We have decided to go for it and soon hopefully so there will be approximately 3 year and 8-9 month gap

depending on if I conceive fairly soon.

Thank you for all you replies.

Arrrghhhh here we go again!

BabyDan, we are in exactly the same boat. Just started TTC for a 2nd DC but very worried about having a baby as high maintenance as DS! I'm going with the lightening doesn't strike scenario. If we are lucky enough to have another DC and they turn out high maintenace at least I know that I can survive

Hard to know what to do for the best though isn't it?

We are very happy with life at the mo and ds has really come into his own lately and is a beautiful, lovely, confident

little boy, which I never thought he'd be and I am terrified to go back to the way things were.

But I still feel like although things are great right now, that our family feels sort of incomplete iykwim?

I feel bad for being greedy in a sense and wanting to rock the boat.

I know there are so many people who are desperately struggling for just one child.

I know what you mean about being able to survive though.

I hope next time, regardless of the temprament of dc2,

I would cope better and have some sort of perspective on it, where as last time, I just thought that was my life forever.