Dd's behaviour is driving me crazy!

[Oneandnomore]

Dd, 5, has always been challenging! But usually she responds to star charts and praise. These last two weeks she has been really hard to handle, being defiant, back chatting and down right naughty.

I always give her a run down of the day, eg if it will be me or the child minder collecting her from school etc. Usually, when I collect her from the child minder we go home and she goes straight upstairs for a bath, then supper and bed. She goes to be by 6.30 as she is exhausted.

This last week or so she has been refusing to have a bath, she goes and lays on her bed and then I have to cajole/order/plead with her to at least get undressed. Cue tears from her and frustration from me. This went on for an hour and a half this evening.

I really don't know what else to try, I have stopped her having her 20 minutes dvd/ television time whilst she is having her supper. Also tried choices and consequences which does work sometimes.

Sorry this is long, just needed to vent somewhere!

Growth spurt - hormone rush?
I've noticed with my dd(8) that since starting school, she's actually getting worse and worse at getting dressed and undressed. I think lots of girls have this problem and are seemingly unable to do simple tasks or listen to instructions.

What about if she gets home, has supper then bath and bed, without coming down again. Simply by changing the routine slightly might work???

What sort of activities does your DD do with her CM after school.

My DD (6yo) tends to come home and want to blob around for the first 30 minutes or so, doesn't really want to talk or do anything. So I let her sit and wind down, she seems to get her second wind and then we are ready to get on with the rest of the afternoon/evening.

Could it be that your DD is being kept very busy and active by the CM? Perhaps she needs some wind down time between school and bedtime? Maybe spend the 20 minutes when she was watching TV, in having a nice, quite, calm cuddle/read/chat together instead?

luciemule, will try supper then bath and straight to bed. She has just has a growth spurt, so could be that.

piprabbit, the CM is really easy going, if she just wants to chill in front of the tv then that is fine. By the time she has had her tea I collect her. We are generally home by 5.15, so not too late. I'll read her an extra story instead of tv time, I might be able to get her to bed a few minutes earlier that way.

I wonder if she is like this because she is so tired, coming to the end of the school year.

Does she really have to have a bath, its really not worth an argument is it??
She may have picked up a virus and is a bit run down, you could try a tonic, minadex or something like that used to pick mine up a bit.
When she goes to lie on her bed why not go and snuggle up with her for a bit, watch a bit of tv with her, read a book, have a chat.

They all seem so tired and scratchety at the moment. The school day is such a long one for the reception children and so much is crammed into the day that it's no wonder they're hyper/naughty/tired out.

Oneandnomore - I think you've hit it on the head when you say that the end of the school year is getting close and everyone is getting tired.

I suppose it's trying to find ways of sliding her through the last half hour of the day with the minimum fuss and frustration. It might be worth trying to ignore any bad behaviour and just focus on whizzing through the routine (I like luciemule's idea of swtiching the order around). When DD is very tired we drop the bath and do a speedy 'wishy-wash' at the sink instead to try and avoid flashpoints.

Pick her up and take off her clothes, then put her unceremoniously into her bed.

she is 5. I'm assuming she is not 5'7"?

You are right about the bath. She doesn't have to have one. One night i ended up just taking a soapy flannel and washing her on the bed! We still had a battle but at least she was clean!
No colditz she isn't 5'7, just extremely stroppy!

I think a tired 5yo has a lot in common with a tired toddler and sometimes should be treated as such (with love, kindness and very firm parenting) .

but you're really big compared to her. Just take off her clothes and put her in bed. It doesn't really matter how stroppy she gets - the longer she stays up, the stroppier she's going to be, and the worse she will feel throughout the week.

It's really hard sometimes to remember that although they are big school people, and really articulate, they were still in nappies 3 years ago and are actually very small and really don't always know what is best for them, and will still frequently behave to their own detriment. you have to just take over and autopilot them sometimes, especially at bedimes.

on the occasions I've had to wrestle ds1's clothes off, he's conked out withing 5 minutes of lying down!

I give up! Dd has been in the bath for over half an hour and is refusing to get out! I asked her why everything has to be such a battle and she answered it's because she likes being naughty!
Am going to take piprabbit's suggestion and parent her very firmly!

Hi One - I don't have any advice but sympathise entirely. DD will be 5 next month so just finishing her Reception year and is very, very hard work at times. She, too, has always been challenging. She is incredibly strong-willed and determined (in my more +ve moments, I tell myself this is a personality trait which will probably serve her well in later life!) We have had the same sort of behaviour here - answering back, general naughtiness, just not doing as she is asked/told.

One of the things I try and do is to pick my battles and only make issues of things if it really matters so that not everything turns into a battle of wills (ie. if you didn't have to be anywhere this morning, could you just leave DD in the bath as long as she likes and potter/read within hearing distance and just keep checking on her?)

That said, I don't really have any answers. Tiredness is defintely a factor here so I'm hoping the summer holidays will see some improvement!

did you pull the plug out? Then say something like "the longer you sit there, the shorter the story you'll have".

Good luck - sounds similar to my dd.

We have actually had a nice, calmish day. I topped the bath up and she asked to come out after another ten minutes! She was very prune like. .

She had a lovely chilled day, helping out and we played games, read stories etc. She was in bed fast asleep for 6.30 bless her.

Lolaladybird, I also pick my battles, sometimes not very successfully!