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What should I do in this situation?

7 replies

Fel1x · 18/06/2010 20:49

I am struggling big time with getting DS1 to bed.
He is 4.8yrs and mild ASD.
For months now every night it is a battle to get him to stay in bed. He gets his younger brother up and just blatently runs round throwing toys about and yelling and laughing for up to 2 hours every night.
He does need the sleep as he sleeps for 12 hours like clockwork from the time he goes to sleep, but he cant sleep in till 9am in the mornings so he has to go to bed earlier, about 7.30pm.
So far my technique has pretty much been to put him back in bed repeatedly for 2 hours each night. But have reached the end of my tether with this. It doesnt stop him. DS is very persistent!
He doesnt care about anything enough to be bothered at all by me threatening to remove it (have tried), the only thing he cares about is his computer time (which he gets taken away often these days) and being seperated from his brother (they are in bunk beds).
Tried taking DS2 out and putting him in my bed for a while each night as soon as they started messing about. DS2 then got a decent sleep, but did feel bad about him being shifted out when its not his fault.
DS1 still messing around on his own in the bedroom though and making almighty mess and noise with toys.
DH has hit on new idea.
In tiny spare room (box room really) we have stripped everything out except a little foam fold out bed. Its now the 'naughty room' and DS1 gets to go and sleep in there if he messes about when going to bed. Its got no toys in and isnt as comfy as his own bed/room. I feel a bit bad putting him to sleep in a 'naughty room' but tonight I got him to settle down (after initial messing about and warning and finally being put in the naughty room) in just under an hour, which is an improvement! Plus it means DS2 (who is mostly good as gold) gets to sleep undisturbed in his own bed.

Is it terrible to be doing this?
What else should I be doing?? Will try anything!

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 18/06/2010 20:52

why don't you just give him the box room as his own bedroom>

Al1son · 18/06/2010 20:55

Could you fill it with cushions and cuddly toys, put a furry throw in there and call it the quiet room instead. I'm not sure that labelling him as naughty by putting him in there as a punishment will be too helpful in the long term.

Would he lie down quietly to listen to audio books on a Mp3 player.

You could keep a note of the time he quietens and reward him for every half hour before a certain time that he improves.

Fel1x · 18/06/2010 20:57

Then I'd have nowhere to threaten him with when he repeatedly gets out of his bed in there!
If I made it his proper room he;d have his proper comfy bed in there and his pictures on the wall and his toys in there and we'd be back to square one but without a spare room for visitors and without anywhere to put DS when he is repetedly getting out of bed...

OP posts:
Fel1x · 18/06/2010 20:58

x posts, yes could try an audio book on an mp3 player - do they make child friendly ones do you think?

OP posts:
Al1son · 18/06/2010 23:05

Our local library had dozens of them in the children's section. We have to pay £1 to borrow them for 2 weeks and obviously once they are on the computer you can choose to break the law by continuing to listen to them if you wish.

They are great for keeping children entertained on long journeys too.

Macforme · 18/06/2010 23:10

Children with ASD often become over stimulated very easily and it may be that sharing with his brother is simply too much excitement for him to easily wind down... in which case having a very boring box room isn't a punishment but a necessary means to sleep.

I work with children who have very severe ASD and my own son has ASD and we find that minimal works.. a quiet room with nothing interesting is essential in both my home and in my class. Could your son play in the shared bedroom but when it's time to sleep.. the box room is his quiet bed space.. might be worth a try and it's not being 'mean' but meeting his different needs

Oneandnomore · 18/06/2010 23:19

I don't know enough about ASD to comment on that aspect, but I have previously facilitated parenting programmes and the main point we make when discussing discipline is not to use a child's bedroom as a form of punishment. This is because it is a child's safe place, their space that they can go when thay need to. It is where they play and sleep, and should be kept as such.

So agree with Macforme on the main bedroom being play room, and the small room being your ds's bedroom.

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