What age do you start the naughty step?

[MrsSawdust]

DD is almost 2 and can at times be a handful. Is it time to start more structured discipline with her?

Naughty step or something else?

At the moment we muddle through somehow but I feel our approach is inconsistent.

When she knows she's annoyed one of us she giggles and does it again - eg kicking someone or throwing food around.

I feel like we (but especially dh) go round constantly saying "no, don't do that" and it's just so negative. And I'm not sure it works.

I gave two examples. Also tantrums when she doesn't get her own way. Hits. Snatches specs off people's faces. That sort of thing.

I know she's too young for the naughty step - but I would like to know the answers to these questions if possible:

What age do people start the naughty step?

How do people deal with bad behaviour in their 2yr olds?

I started at just turned 2. I think it is young and they don't get it at first, but they soon realise doing something naughty results in sitting somewhere boring for a couple of minutes.

My DS is 2.10 and I introduced the naughty step a couple of months ago, when he started having proper tantrums. I had tried distraction, ignoring him etc, nothing calmed him down but the naughty step does seem to stop a tantrum. He has been sat on it 3 times but every days talks about going on the naughty step when he's getting grumpy or I say 'no' to something. I always tell him he doesn't have to go on it, but it always makes me smile when he's insistinbg on the naughty step. You could try it a couple of times if she's kicking/hitting. She may be too young, so you may decide to wait a couple of months more, but it won't hurt to give it a go if all else isn't working. Good Luck

At 2 I'd distract, distract, distract and pay no attention to behaviour you don't like. I'm not a fan of the naughty step, tbh, but think 2 is too young. Throwing food - don't pick it up, look bored, look unimpressed and enter into interesting conversation with DP/DH. If she doesn't get attention, it's a lot less fun.

Hitting and kicking - say "Kicking is not nice because it hurts people. I don't want to be in the same room with someone who kicks" and calmly walk away.

I've found walking away cooly very effective for most things - it removes the attention instantly.

the supernanny book says 2.5 years
i wouldnt put a child on it under 2 yrs although i know some people who have..
distract and firm voice probably better

Never.

The naughty step is horrible, it doesn't really work.

Mrs S - I could have written your posy word for word, except my nearly 2 year old is a boy.

We have just started shutting him the corridor for a minute for big naughtinesses - bitting, throwing food, throwing... - seems to be working. He gets one stern "No" , then the corridor the next time he does it. There is nothing in the corridor for him to hurt himself. A minute seems long enough to let him calm down, but then seem a bit worried that we might leave him there. When he comes out we have a big kiss and cuddle.

If we are out then we go and sit on a bench/stop walking his pushchair/sit in the car for a minute. It is hard work keeping it up, but he does seem to be a bit better behaved in the couple of weeks we have been doing it. I am anticipating that he will get used to this and these sanctions will become ineffective though!

On the naughty step he just laughed and ran up and down the stairs.

We used a version of the naughty step, along with "kicking is not nice and hurts people" type of comments. Although our disappointment in her behaviour has been the most effective - fortunately it's only had to be used infrequently.
We also tried not to say "no", and said "excuse me" and "give that to me please" type of thing.

I'm personally very much opposed to the naughty step. I seem to be on a lot of these threads recently, so apologies for repeating things.

If you imagine yourself in their body, you are really frustrated, you have feelings that you can't express and then you are put somewhere you don't want to be. Mum and Dad are ignoring you. That makes you even more upset and then you are forced to say sorry when you are really angry. If you don't say it properly then you are made to stay there. You really want to just be angry but you want to get out of there even more, so you force a sorry a bit better this time. Next time it happens you get even better at pretending that you're sorry. All that anger just gets internalised and you hold it against everyone who got you to that place - e.g. your sister, your mum, yourself.

I think all we can do it help them express themselves, explain why the behaviour is not the way to go, and distract and be very very kind and supportive. Pick your battles and ask yourself if you really really need to say no. It doesn't always work out seemlessly but it's rounded human beings that we are trying to rear not people who will only do something based on whether they are going to be rewarded or punished.