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6yr old controlling by screaming

3 replies

redcarpet · 16/06/2010 11:19

My 6 year old DD has been trying to control by screaming. When I try to comb her hair she screams in the morning, when she is told no she can't have something she screams very loudly . In fact it is screaming after screaming. The screams are very loud and can be heard from a distance outside the house. I have tried the naughty step but she then screams even more saying she is dying. She is really controlling and I feel that I have failed as a mother. I have tried rewards and they seem to work but the trouble is keeping on with it. However she behaves very differently when other people are around, even when her dad comes backs from work. She calls me names like a stupid mumy, silly mum but then goes to write apology letters as I tend to just stay quite when she is saying that.
I am just confused but its the screaming loudly that drives me nuts

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LucyJones · 16/06/2010 11:21

Tell her if she doesn't stop screaming you'll have to make an appointment with her class teacher to discuss it

mrsruffallo · 16/06/2010 11:27

I wouldn't brush her hair. I would tell her that she would have to go to school with unbrushed hair and that I would tell the teacher why.
Give her some reponsibilty for her actions

Al1son · 16/06/2010 15:54

You need to develop temporary deafness. Let her scream as much as she likes and make sure it has absolutely no effect on anything whatsoever. Continue to do everything very calmly no matter how much the screams are making you want to react - and I know how much that demands of you.

Then when she isn't screaming find things to praise. Little tiny bit of good (or even not bad) behaviour that you can say thank you for.

Aim to find something positive to say every few minutes.

And yes - if she doesn't want her hair brushed tell her that you will happily leave it but will have to explain why to her teacher because you don't want them thinking you couldn't be bothered.

If you are calm and consistent she will eventually realise that screaming achieves nothing but good behaviour reaps rewards. You won't create the perfect child - who can? - but life may be a little easier on your ears as a result.

Good luck.

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