3yo DS sudden obsession with guns, shooting, killing etc

[Jacksmybaby]

How do you react to this?

I find myself saying this a lot, but am torn between a) not wanting to make a big deal of it so he knows he gets a reaction, and b) wanting to stop him saying things like "I'm going to shoot you / kill you" etc, even though I know he doesn't mean it/ understand what it means, he's just copying what he's heard other kids saying.

So far I have just calmly said to him that words like "kill" and "shoot" etc are not nice because it means hurting someone and making them sad.

I'm a childminder and I have given this a lot of thought, participated in many professional discussions about it and looked into the theory of play which is relevant.

My feelings are that your son needs to explore the concept of shooting, killing, weapons, death, fighting and injury. He knows that all these things exist and he is exploring them through his play like any other subject. This is a positive process through which he is developing his understanding of the world.

When a child in my care goes through this I make sure they understand the terms they are using to an age-appropriate level and then use their interest to develop their learning further. We might look at how guns are made, what soldiers do, weapons through the ages, etc.

I don't have replica guns for them to play with but will not prevent a child using a prop made from lego, a stick, a tennis racquet because this is good quality imaginative play.

I like what you say about the words he is using because you are supporting his understanding without squashing his imaginative play.

Try to see it as a positive process rather than an undesirable behaviour.

Thanks for the response. It's interesting to think about it in a different way.

I like the idea of trying to make sure he understands the words he is using rather than simply trying to stop him using them without explaining why.

Although, crikey, I wouldn't even know where to start with getting into discussions about wars / what soldiers do / why killing might be necessary in some circumstances etc, at this age!

What kind of level of understanding / explanation do you think would be appropriate for a 3.4yo?

BTW he also knows that: 1) if someone is dead that means you can't see them any more and 2) killing someone means to "make them dead" - so for example, a couple of times he has said to me "I mustn't kill you mummy because then I wouldn't be able to see you again"!!

I'd recommend a trip to the library to find some children's books about wars, being a soldier or weapons. You can explore them together. You could also find books about castles and knights because they are closely linked to weapons too.

I work on the principle most of the time that I answer questions honestly but don't add any more information than is requested. This is how I tackle any sensitive issues where you don't want to give too much information.

Thanks for the advice Al1son.