Aggressive DS

[Tamsin72]

DS is nearly 5.

When he's playing with friends, if he gets hurt or if he is teased, he gets very angry and shouts at the other child, then runs off. He gets so cross and upset that it's difficult to watch. Just recently it's happened at a couple of birthday parties, one on a bouncy castle when another boy kept jumping on him, and another when he was convinced that a ball had been thrown at him on purpose. on both occassions I've just got him to come and sit with me for a bit to calm down. BUT it's awkward and I feel it's not completely normal. I don't think I've seen any of his other friends behave like that.

He also gets quite wound up at home sometimes and shouts at me. If that happens, I ask him not to raise his voice and get him to apologise but I really want to try to help him be calmer or react better when things don't go his way.

Has anyone got any words of wisdom they can share?

thanks.

I empathise with you. A friend's ds is similar. One of the things she has done is to limit playdates and pick carefully who they go and play with, mainly because she thought it couldn't be good for him to be in challenging situations too often. I don't really know the answer, but I would find the friends who love and understand hima dn let him spend most of his time with them. More relaxing for both of you. My friends ds is getting better.

I think lots of boys are quite like this at this sort of age - someone told once that they get their first real shot of testosterone at 4, and that's why they can become bloody hard work until it settles down.

It sounds to me like you're doing everything right - just keep being consistent; he's pushing the boundaries. I'm sure with time and maturity he will sort himself out.

Thanks for your replies. It's a good idea to limit play dates. I've tried to explain to the mums in his class that the best tactic is to leave him be for a little while - he normally calms down and it's all forgotten about then. I guess I feel sad for him that he gets so worked up sometimes.

DH has started getting him to count to 10 when he sees ds losing it, which seems to work but you can't watch them all the time,can you?

let's hope the hormones will settle down shortly!

Tam