4 yr old son waking 4-5 times / night - HELP

[emdanmum]

My son, 4 yrs old, has been waking in the night for several months now and we've run out of ideas. His regular number of "wakes" is 4-5, though this can be more or less. He is getting to the point that he sometimes flatly refuses to go back to bed, screaming if we move towards taking him back to bed. When he first goes to bed, he falls asleep almost instantly, so we believe that he's really tired and should sleep well. We introduced a sticker chart to encourage him to only get out of bed if he needed to (eg. wee or drink or bad dream). This worked very well for about a week-with mostly 0-1 "wakes"/night, but now we're back to 4/5 "wakes". What's going on?? He proved that he can do it, but for some reason he's not......HELP!!!

what else is going on in his life? is he worried about something? has there been any upheaval?

it sounds like he is doing this because he needs you, for whatever reason
if it were me i would just take him into my bed and then pop him back into his when he is asleep

I don't know if anything is bothering him....he's a generally happy little boy.
We have had him in our bed, but he's so big and constantly wiggles...nobody gets any sleep! He tends to have a 5 minute cuddle and then goes back to bed. This is repeated throughout the night. Sometimes he gets very stubborn and refuses to go back to bed, but offers no reason for it.
One night he was so adamant that he wasn't going to go back to bed that he curled up on our bedroom floor and slept there.
What I don't understand is that when we first introduced the sticker chart he did so well, and he does go through a couple of days where he will sleep right through.
For eg. we went camping a couple of weekends ago, but had to pack up and go home in the middle of the night....he was put in the car (asleep) drove an hour home (asleep) put into his own bed (asleep) and woke up later than usual at home (very confused!!).
Is anybody else going through this / has been through this?
It's been going on for months now

i just htink that for some reason he is needing you when he wakes in the night. you may never find out why
the reason he can do well for a week or so is because of the bribery! he knows when he wakes that he wants to get a sticker.
but after a while the thing he really wants/needs (ie, comfort from you) is too strong and he goes back to it, regardless of wanting the prize

i would say just go with it. all of mine go through phases of this. DS1 was particularly bad when he had just started school for example. I find that after a while, if I just go with it, they stop by themselves

i also have a 'challenging' sleeper - either me or dh end up with ds (4.6) most nights when he wakes. we have lately tried putting ds to bed half an hour earlier and this seems to help (8pm), although he still wakes at 5 and wriggles about for an hour! as your little one falls asleep immediately, perhaps he is over-tired. Try putting him down earlier in increments of 10 mins every two-three nights and see if his sleep improves. Also have you tried night lights,etc
I have aged about 10 years through lack of sleep!

He does often go to bed over-tired.
However he goes to bed at 7.30/8 anyway, not sure if I'd be happy putting him to bed any earlier......we (like most famillies) have precious little time together as it is
I see what you're saying though-perhaps we'll aim for 7.30 prompt into bed (I must admit that it has been nearer 8 recently as they're playing outdoors a lot more and I'm soft!)
I don't think that light is an issue, as we have a huge window at the top of the stairs that lets in a lot of light. He seems to sleep better when we pull his door shut slightly.
It is thoroughly exhausting. But luckily, like you I have a DH who does his fair share (more than his fair share if I'm honest )
He's so pleased with himself when he wakes in the morning and hasn't got up in the night, or has only got up for a drink/wee. Should I carry on rewarding this with a chart, because he really does feel great when he gets a sticker?

we have been going through similar with our 5 yr old recently. Nothing seemed to work to get him to stay in his own bed,stickers were short lived even with great prizes, like walk in forest or money in pot for lego.

The only thing we found which worked and is still working a few weeks on now, is my H promises to go and wake him at 630 when H goes downstairs to get cup of tea for me. DS then comes into the bed and gets a quiet, sleepy cuddle with me for 10 mins with noone else there. He seems to value this so much, it has worked from day one!

The only set back we had was when H couldn't bring himself to wake DS up at 630 one morning. DS was distraught that he lost his special mummy cuddle and that night was up in the night, asking to get into our bed.

You don't know yourself when you start sleeping through the night again!