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my 5-year-old can't jump

8 replies

maniacbug · 13/06/2010 21:01

I have always been aware that DS1 was a bit of a late developer physically - fairly late walking, VERY cautious with play apparatus and climbing, etc. We attended some OH and physio sessions a couple of years ago (on the advice of nursery, because he was not climbing or balancing very well) for a while but they didn't really help and the patronising woman in charge of our case talked REALLY SLOWLY AND REALLY LOUDLY to DS1. So we stopped going. They had already said that there was nothing fundamentally physically wrong... So after a bit of research into dyspraxia etc. we decided that we'd rather just focus on the positives (he is very good at reading and loves writing and drawing) and give him all the opportunities for physical activity, plenty of encouragement, support, coaching, etc. and let him work it out in his own time. They're all better at some things than others, aren't they? He's 5 and a half now, and he loves running and seems to have bags of energy, but he still is not very good going up or down stairs, can't really catch or kick a ball, is terrified of going on his scooter, avoids the climbing frame at school and just can't (or won't?) jump. He seems to keep his legs very straight, even when jumping from a standstill. Prompted to post this because we just spent an hour tonight coaxing him to jump the two stairs on our landing outside our bathroom. This was his idea and he really wanted to do it, we weren't forcing him against his will. He was pep-talking himself the whole time, pretending he was in the Olympics and stuff... I tried offering practical advice, support, waiting and watching quietly, telling him how proud I was of him for trying, but he just got himself more and more worked up and eventually turned to me, his little face all panicky and desperate, and said, "this is my 'terrible thing', mum, but I just have to make myself do it, don't I?" 'Terrible thing' - I had to fight back tears. I don't know whether it's physical or more of a mental/confidence thing. But it's becoming more of an issue now as his 3-yr-old sister is a bit of a daredevil and will jump from any height with glee. She has to be physically restrained. We've tried to downplay it over the last few years (maybe a mistake?), so as not to make an issue out of it and give him a complex, but now he's getting bothered about it himself. He is one of 5 in Reception (60 kids) who get some extra support at school, but beyond asking for our permission to let him skip assembly to do this school have not raised it as an issue (although I flagged at the beginning of the year that he might need a bit of help with confidence in PE). What can we do? Anybody else had this or similar? Will he grow out of it or should I go back down the physio route? (Sorry for long post, by the way, it's been building up in my head...)

OP posts:
KickButtowski · 13/06/2010 21:24

I don't know what extra support he is receiving at school and what specific issues he may have, but I have been through something similar with my ds.

Now aged 6 he cannot / won't ride a bike or scooter, and needs coaching to go up a slide by himself. He is also scared of swings and climbing frames and swimming.

However, since he started school he has got more confident and adventurous and has taught himself to jump 2 and then 3 steps down the stairs! Sounds silly, but I had been worrying about it too so this is a great achievement.

Our appproach was to totally ignore the problem, If he ever expressed his own worry or upset at not being able to do something like climbing or jumping I would give him the chance to try with me holding him, sometimes it worked and sometimes not.

Key difference though is that ds was never really bothered and still isn't, whereas it sounds like your lo is getting upset.

I would stay in touch closely with school who will be able to compare him with the others and see how he progresses. Personally I have found that peer pressure has had many positive influences for ds since he started school, and he copies his friends.

CarGirl · 13/06/2010 21:30

Some treatment from here or another similar organisation would probably be a huge benefit for him and the practioners are lovely not at all patronising!

www.inpp.org.uk/

maniacbug · 13/06/2010 21:51

Good to hear he's not the only one - it sometimes feels like it! Most of the time he's not bothered either, at least it has always seemed that way, but times like tonight - the way he was talking to himself about it - make me realise that maybe he worries about it more than he lets on.
Swimming is the one thing we have insisted on - he has a wonderful teacher with the patience of a saint, and finally we're making a bit of progress (face in the water), but again his sister, 2 years younger, is catching up fast. Our approach has been to ignore it as much as possible too, and I'd hoped that when he started school - as in your experience - peer pressure would have an effect. Trouble is DS1 is not that influenced by others (yet) - he's not bothered about joining in or being 'one of the gang' and will happily just do his own thing (i.e. run around the climbing frame rather than go on it). I have worked out that if he feels he can't do something, he won't even try because he seems to be scared of 'failing', though I honestly don't know where this comes from.

Can I just ask, with the jumping stairs thing, did your ds just get on and do it himself or did you spend time working on it with him? I'm just wondering whether I should be making more effort myself, or whether I should leave him to it...

It's really helpful to hear how relaxed you and ds are about it by the way, and that he's making progress too. I should probably stop worrying!

OP posts:
maniacbug · 13/06/2010 21:56

Thanks for that link CarGirl, will check it out.

OP posts:
KickButtowski · 14/06/2010 10:08

With the stairs thing he kind of started doing it himself, "jumping" off the very first step which was actually just stepping off quickly. He was very proud of that and I suggested that he jump with both feet at the same time, and he liked the idea but we only did it with me holding his waist a few times and he said that was enough.

I then realised that he was secretly practising but he still kept just stepping until one day he suddenly called me and said LOOK and he did both feet at once.

He kept on doing that for a couple of months and I suggested that he try the second step but he said no. Then I got the call again one day and he managed it.

My ds also hates it if he can't do something straight away which is why the bicycle and scooter got dumped, and I think that is why he took to practising his jumping in private until he had cracked it!

So overall I would say it has been driven by him but with me making myself available to help and suggesting things if he wanted to.

Generally with ds I find that I have to keep on suggesting things casually or else he will never do anything at all. Often it takes several "casual" hints and mentions before he finally decides to try it himself. He is a typical bloke I think, he wants it to all be his own idea.

BTW I was also struck when he first started school how he had no interest in what the other boys were doing at all, it quite worried me. I still worry a bit now that his interests are very different to his peers, and he plays differently. And yet I can see that there have also been many changes in him over time, it's like he has just absorbed some of their behaviour, especially in gaining confidence and becoming more active.

catinthehat2 · 14/06/2010 10:17

2 steps is a lot. If that's where he wants to be, why not help him by giving him a plank 2 inches high, then doubling to 4 inches etc, then 1 step, and teach him how to get to 2 steps gradually. (And leave him to it as KickButt says, and proably keep sister out of the way as well)

It's really dispiriting unless you can practice and get a bit of progress, and I feel for the boy.

rabbitstew · 14/06/2010 11:08

Is he loose jointed (hypermobile) or does he have low muscle tone? Our ds1 has a mild connective tissue disorder and we had to work incredibly hard to teach him how to climb playground equipment, etc, safely. It also took him a long time to learn to hop, as that requires even more strength and stability than jumping does. He had a tendency to lock his knees back the wrong way to gain stability, but then of course, you can't bend them to walk normally, jump or hop. It's pretty common with low tone/hypermobility to do this.

If your ds is unstable, eg, as a result of mild low muscle tone or hypermobility, this may well therefore affect his ability to feel safe when he jumps. And if it's mild, it won't necessarily have been commented on or picked up on before, particularly since children with more physically determined personalities (iyswim!) may have found a way around the problem. Extra supportive boots or shoes can help, or even shoe inserts (help with the weak ankles and general position of the leg at least, but not so much with poor control around the knees and hips, although just normal running about should have helped with these things over the years). I guess if your ds otherwise has lots of energy and doesn't complain of getting tired quite quickly, it is unlikely to be a serious physical issue - eg muscle weakness as opposed to muscle tone - and personality does play a huge part. My ds1 doesn't like to try things he can't already do... Have to admit to being a bit pleased he doesn't jump from great heights, though, as he really does feel like he could pull apart quite easily when you pick him up - everything seems to pull out of joint/bend back the wrong way!

HoneydewYou · 29/04/2025 06:27

Would love to hear updates. Did your son learn to jump? Was there a medical diagnosis? Concerned for mine, but also do not want to make something out of nothing.

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