Please please please give me some advice and tips on another way of dealing with this behaviour.

[tightwad]

I can feel myself getting more and more irritable and unreasonable.

Ds is 6 nearly 7.
He cannot sit still for any more than a couple of seconds.
Never stops talking
shouts/screams out randomly, no reason for it.
has to move and talk and make noise constantly.
has very little concentration.

we are forever saying "x, be quiet" "X sit still" "x stop that"
always seem to getting at hm.

Its not right for any of us.

Help me think of another way to approach this please that is healthy and gets the message across to him thatw e adore him, but need for him to calm down.

He isnt like any other 6/7 year old that i know.

Would be out on his tramoline from 6am when he gets up every morning if i let him.

Gets lots of excersize. good routine, i am careful what i feed him.

Thats a really good point actually becuase i am in a negative loop of finding it hard to praise at the moment. He is so challenging.e

You need to try fish oil - really this worked with ds2.

He cant help having ants in his pants hes still very young and the rules of the world seem so boring ....

lots of love and excercise and .....fish oil .

Not sure its realistic to expect a 7 year old to be quiet and sit still?

And (I realise this is a whole new debate) particularly it seems boys are more likely to be incapable of sitting still, and often unable to keep their stream of consciousness thinking in their heads and thus instead make us all listen to it, on a constant basis.

IMO they do grow out of the constant talking - sometime soon before 8, but the sitting still thing does continue.

on omegas already.
is it really unrealistic to ask for him to sit for even a few minutes to eat his tea...without climbing upside down on his chair, crawling underneeth the table, wandering off, turning round etc etc etc. really?

no, it's not unrealistic if he can do that in any other situation, is he ok at school or are they saying they are concerned about him?

they call him "the boy who cant sit still" at school.

drives me mad

I would look at treating him for neurodevelopmental delay, it's just to do with them have retained reflexes nothing scary or sinister.

Have a look at this link, in particular the questionnaire

www.inpp.org.uk/questions/index.php

My dd had retained moro reflex so produced to much adrenalin which meant she didn't really need much sleep to function with, she also had very poor gross motor skills.

ok...when my DS started school his snooty teacher said she had 'never seen a child less able to sit on a chair', he actually had dyspraxia and found anything that needed co-ordination very difficult.

We tried to help him by breaking things down into tiny, tiny steps for him with lots of praise, I remember mealtimes needed constant commentary from us to keep him sitting and to stop HIM from talking ALL the time. This was exhausting but did gradually help!

noteventhebestdrummer, look at the above link it helps with dyspraxia too! Tis so fab fab fab just wish I'd known about it sooner.

thanks, it does look great, my DS is now grown up though! And got the hang of all the stuff like kicking balls and writing nearly (well, sort of) in the end!

(brag brag brag...and graduates this year)

meh! I mean writing NEATLY

but, it can still help improve him even more!!! I'm still considering having treatment myself.

Well done your ds btw

Look at your instructions:

"x, be quiet" "X sit still" "x stop that"

Instead of telling him what not to to, try telling him what to do, ie label the behaviour you want. Instead of tellig him to stop, replace the behaviour. many children have no concept of what sitting still and being quiet actually entails- label how you want his hands (in lap), feet (on floor) etc. For example, if he is jumping on the furniture, instead of telling him to stop, tell him he needs to have both feet on the floor- give concrete examples of what it is you want him to do.

If he has difficuty sitting still, telling him to do it will not work. Making it into a game of 'statues' might- who can keep still the longest?

Keep a list of tasks that he could do when he is feeling active- run up and down stairs ten times, sweep the floor, count all the plug sockets in the house- anything to keep him engaged on your terms; and praise him to the hilt for following instructions

done all that, changing instructions round.
"I need for you to show me how beutifully you can sit nicely and eat 10 fork fulls before you can go and bounce on trampoline" etc etc
Also he has never slept. never slept through the night till he was nearly 5 and at school. Nowadays is up between 5.30-7 latest.

It is wearing,
It is exhausting
It is painful
It is just fucking hard hard work.

he will be 7 soon.
Thanks, did the questionaire and could only tick 4 out of the 7.
Sigh.
maybe he will settle as he matures. I just need to try to keep up the praise etc.
Sometimes, i would LOVE for someone to take him off my hands for a couple ofhours. he is at school, i go to work, dh is fantastic with him, but we have no relief from him. Gps not interested, or as i suspect, cant cope with him as well as not being interested.
I get so envious of people who say that their parents are taking their kids out to the park or having them overnight.
we have not been able to even celebrate our wedding ann and we have been married for 10 years.
I have recently had 3 mcs, and had to go through them in hospital alone as we had no one to look afetr ds so dh couldnt come and sit with me.

bieng a mum is SO SO SO hard some days.

it sounds exhausting

i agree with tethersend though

explanation works far better than direction
all of that "wouldn't it be great if i could jump around too" sort of commiserating but explaining why it isn't appropriate all the time

maybe you need a break to get a chance to start to appreciate the endless energy...! I know that I am a much better and more patient parent when I get a chance to have some time to myself

what about a paid babysitter?

sorry my last post seemed to have been cross posted

I really think you should take him for an assessment, I took my dd3 for too much adrenalin which just interfered with her sleeping, the test for too much adrenalin is quick and simple - it's just how the pupils dilate with a torch light.

It was some of the best money I ever slept after 4 years of a non sleeping child!