dh's interaction with 6wo ds

[asparagusaddict]

he is really loud around him, trying to make him smile - he is always going real close to ds's face waving his hands and going 'oooga booga wooga' really loudly in his face.

i keep saying babies need calm and gentle interaction but i just get ignored.

i just want dh to stop and be more calm around the little one? i'm concerned it's going to psycologically damage the baby!

am i being unreasonable or is this kind of interaction with the baby bad for his development? the baby just kind of looks a bit stunned when this is going on, he doesn't cry though.

i instinctively feel it isn't good for the baby but i don't know if i'm being an hormonal, oversensitive first time mum - i've never been around babies before so i don't know what they find entertaining

i just feel a calm, loving environment is best so baby can feel safe and secure in these early weeks. please help me know what's best and what kind of impact (if any) that this might be having on baby!

I'm sure your baby will be fine

ps i do love my dh very much and think it's lovely he's eager to spend time bonding with our son

As long as he's not being rough or upsetting ds, sounds fine. You really need to encourage this interaction, accept his style will differ to yours, and remember not all dads are that interested in lo's

I agree with you re. calm and gentle interaction being the ideal for babies (I am calm and gentle personified!) My DH, though, is very loud - and did just as you describe. Although it's not my style, I really don't think he has psychologically damaged the children!! So long as children feel loved and cherished, it doesn't much matter how the parent/s express their affection. What a baby needs for his/her development is a strong bond with one or two adults who care for him/her more than anything else in the universe. How they express this caring is largely irrelevant, so long as it is expressed.

It's also worth remembering that your son has half his genes from your DH - so he may be on the loud side himself in due course.

In addition, any subsequent children you have will really, really never know 'calm and gentle', however much you may aspire to it.

My DCs do find my DH a bit loud sometimes (DD complained about it at her swimming gala) - but it's also just what Daddy is. I do the calm bit, and he does the loud bit. I'd prefer total calm myself, but there are far worse things than husbands who are noisy.

thank you so much for the reassurance, i have no idea how much of any of the many emotions i am currently feeling are from neurotic overprotective first time mum syndrome, it helps so much to hear what others think.

i know how lucky me/ds are to have such a wonderful dh/daddy. i will try to relax about the loudness

i think the baby will be fine, best not say anything as you may put your dh off from making an effort?

Sorry, but I'm really loling at the image of 'ooga booga wooga' to a stunned 6 week old! Dads were just made to be embarrassing weren't they?

well I have just posted about the total opposite problem - DH not interacting with 8wk old at all - just sitting and looking at her in a slightly dazed way! be grateful he is interested I reckon!

I think if baby doesn't like it, he'll very soon let you know! Dads have different ways of handling and interacting with their children and it's just as useful for baby to experience their way as mum's way. If your ds obviously isn't frightened or upset by it, then it's fine! The first thing that made my dd laugh out loud was dh doing the terrifying Batman voice at her.

DH was always a lot louder with DD than me - now she's a bit older, they have crazy fun at play time (and still at bedtime/nap time), and she saves all her best giggles for daddy.

It's just their way of coping and connecting with the baby. To them, a newborn is this little alien, unresponsive being til they 'get more interesting' (DH's words not mine - how I hated him saying it at the time ). Remember that men don't have the hormones for the maternal instinct like we do so find other ways to develop a bond with their DCs.