Separation anxiety - should I be doing something to pre-empt it?

[mistressploppy]

I read (here) that you should try to have some time apart from your dc to prevent separation anxiety later.

I don't spend much time at all away from ds (nearly 8mo) - not because I can't but that's just the way it goes (dh at work, not much family nearby etc)

What do people think? Should I be actively seeking to leave him with others to prevent trouble ahead?

I very much doubt that would make any difference, to be honest - there's no way of preventing it because it's a perfectly normal developmental stage. The best thing to do is help them be secure by knowing they can rely on you to be there.

I dont think you can pre-empt separation anxiety - I returned to work when DS1 was 6 and a half months old and he was a placid little baby who never experienced separation anxiety. I returned to work when DS2 was 7 months old - he reverse cycled for a bit then settled down quite happily but all of a sudden 2 weeks ago (he's 16 months now) separation anxiety hit with a vengeance out of the blue - at nap times and through the night. He's abit more of a cuddly baby/clingon than DS1 was but otherwise quite independent so never saw it coming. The best thing to do when it hits is be there for them and try and ride out the phase...

i dont see the need to leave him without need just to prevent that, if you dont even want to leave him anyway?
i never left my ds1 at all until he was 1 yr old and then i just started leaving him a bit for antenatal apts as he was a bit of a pain while waiting around, got too bored etc so would leave him with family just for that and go, never really had much other reasons to leave him and definitely not by 8 months but he now @ 2 years is not particularly clingy child or anything, he will be happy to go off with any friends or family if there is fun to be had, if he is familiar with the person. so i dont see its caused any problem at all? i wouldnt worry

Hmm, I think this article is a load of crap controversial. I don't think you can skip inconvenient stages like SA by using these strategies. Like PPs have said, it's developmentally normal. Babies get SA, some worse than others - some of it will be down to temperament and how your baby feels with the other carer. If it is someone who can give your baby one-to-one attention and who knows your baby well then that is fine but it doesn't mean that your baby won't howl when you leave.

None of this means you shouldn't leave your baby. I am totally in favour of mothers having some time away from their babies if they want it - it is a total life saver. For me, as long as the carer is competent and well, caring then baby will be fine. You may be guilt-ridden as you leave but hey, that's motherhood If your carer is reasonably calm then baby will be fine. If your carer is likely to panic and be phoning you saying "he won't stop crying" then that is not so great.

Hope you find something nice to do with your "time off"