Question about routines for young babies...whats the general opinion?

[HotSprocket]

Having been given books such as The Baby Whisperer that sing the praises of routines i wondered what the wise people of mumsnet thought, should a young baby be on a routine?
It's interesting to read the books but i don't think i could actually apply it to my or dd's day. She is only 7 weeks though so bit early to think about that anyway.
Has anyone had a routine for a 2/3 month baby? If so, was it the magic answer like the books claim?

no, no routines here
well other than the 5am start not my choice!

Don't bother trying. They find their own routine quite quickly. It's less stressful to fit in with them. Think about it later.

Most of the books are rubbish I found.

I read the baby whisperer when ds1 was about 4 months old so a bit older than your dd.

It proved very useful to me! I had never had much to do with babies before he came along.

I bf him.

He was a good feeder.

He cried.

I fed him.

Sometimes he fell asleep!

It seemed ok.

Then I read the book and realised that not every cry meant he was hungry! It revolutionalised us! I learnt to spot when he ws tired and get him down for a nap. I finally got a bit of time to myself and felt a whole lot better for it.

He fell naturally into a routine and that suited me as I do like to have stucture to my day.

I certainly didn't follow everything that the books said, but as a first time Mum I did read a lot and took on board what made sense to me and suited us as a family.

You are going to get answers all along the spectrum.

All that matters is what works for you and your child, everyone is different. It's got to work for both of you to work at all, iyswim, so don't try shoehorning yourselves into something that doesn't fit.

Equally, the only way to find out is to give it a go. No one here can tell you what to try, they can only help with aspects of a certain route once you've decided on it. See which book (if any) appeals to you most, give it a go, then don't be afraid to tweak it or bin it completely if it's not right for you. Good luck!

I used Sleepsense by M. Faure & A. Richrdsn.
It is a book that manages expectations rather than creating a routine. That helped me.
But TBH I pick what I need from all the books and leave what doesn't work. We have found a routine and it is working for us. Things settled into a predictable routine at around 8-weeks when we got the feeding sorted out (medical issues).

When my ds was 4 weeks I was having a nightmare, he was crying alot, very windy and hardly slept(I was breast feeding on demand). A midwife friend of mine recommended trying to get him into more of a routine and feeding him every three hours instead of on demand, I was very sceptical. I thought I would have to endure hours of crying and that he would be very unhappy but it had an amazing effect. Within 2 days he was a happy, gorgeous sleepy little boy without any symtoms of wind!By 6 weeks he was sleeping 12 hrs a night!!! This was unlike my dd who I fed on demand and didn't sleep through until 8 mths! I feed then play for an hour then he sleeps for an hour. He is now 11 weeks.

I don't follow a strict routine. I prefer to go with the flow a bit. But reading those kind of books can be helpful, as long as you take them with a pinch of salt, because you get some good ideas about how much day time sleep babies need. And good day time naps can mean a baby settles better at night. The baby whisperer routine is fairly flexible as I remember, so if it helps you to have a bit of structure in your day, then it's probably worth a try.

Thanks for all the replies so far.
To be honest i'm happy to go with the flow with dd, she is a happy baby so i'm happy. She seems to be getting into her own little routine anyway.
I do worry that she sleeps a bit too much in the day time, generally naps for 3 hours then is awake for about 2 hours. But as i said she seems quite happy so i just let her be.

Some babies will go along with routines. Some won't. If you have the latter, don't beat yourself up about it, just figure out how to get out and do stuff and have the baby come with you instead. Ds was a happy contented baby as long as I didn't try to get him to feed or nap except when he wanted - he would conk out when he felt like it instead (freaked me out the first time he fell asleep in his high chair!). Still does.

DN (same age) was in a routine from 2 weeks so napped at set times and slept through from 6 weeks - but did a lot more screaming in the day and has been a heck of a lot more work.
About 18 months they both fell into a standard routine and have been delightful since.

As long as she is happy and you are happy, I don't think routines matter a great deal. I think whenever you put a routine into place, some developmental stage will come along and throw it all askew anyway! My DS is 15 weeks old and he has gotten himself into a very regular routine all by himself. Parent led routines are probably a godsend when you are having a tough time, your baby isn't sleeping well, or maybe if you have other kids and really need a very predictable routine. But it sounds like you and your little girl are really doing fine!

Well if you're both happy as you are, why worry about routines?

skidoodly i only worry because my MIL keeps going on about it, so i just thought i would see if its something i should be doing.
Also, she is my first so i have a duty to worry

I found that DS really took to a routine at about 4 months old. It is definitely a personality type, and even now he gets distressed when things change up too much. He's fine for a few days, but after that, wretched.

I started out very gently, so not set to a strict time, but just doing everything in the same order (e.g. bath, massage, feed, bed,) and built up from there. Turned out, it sort of fell into running to a scheduled time.

I don't think I'd battle over trying to get a baby to eat when it doesn't want to etc... for the sake of keeping to a strict time schedule.

I am due to have DC2 in a few weeks, so it might all be different with this one

DD was in a routine from day one as I had to wake her every four hours to feed her as she was jaundiced. She happily carried on with this and I folowed her lead with regard to dropping feeds/naps etc as she got older.

I agree with others that it is a personality thing. Both DD and I like to know what we are doing and when. She's now four and one of the first things she asks every day is what we are doing that day and in what order.

It is your duty not to worry about the things you feel good about, there will be enough things where you have reason to doubt your approach to use up your worrying on

No imposed routines,it's hard enough feeding them when they are hungry and putting them down when they are sleepy. I can't really see how it would help to try and work against that.

The tone of the BW is very guilt inducing. Watch out for that. If this any book starts to make you feel guilty, bin it.

They will be calmer and more relaxed if you let them find their own routine. If they do fit in with a book routine it's c'os that's what they do anyway.

My mum says to; feed the top end, clean the bottom end and cuddle the bit in the middle!

Thanks for all the advice.
When she was born she lost 12% of her birth weight so i was having to feed her every 3 hours, it was exausting! She put the weight back on but i still insisted on waking her to feed. Silly of me i know but i was worried she wasn't getting enough.
Everthing has been much easier since i just forgot all the rules and actually listened to what she wanted rather than force feeding her when she wasn't hungry and just wanted to sleep.