Our 6 year old is incredibly stubborn

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

How can we use this as a positive thing?

Before I send her to live at the inlaws.

She knows her own mind and isn't afraid to express it

It will stand her in great stead as an adult

Just needs encouragement in developing the self-awareness that others will not always share the same opinion/want to do the same thing etc

I agree it will be good as an adult but as a 6 year old who totally defies us and will not do as she is told and slams doors, it pisses me off.

Bit about your last paragraph as she is stubborn about putting things away when asked, won't stop kicking her brother and has stormed off upstairs. DH is putting the stuff in the bin that she refuses to put away.

I meant in terms of playing, sharing, negotiating etc

Sounds like your thread is more about her behaviour in terms of her stubborn personality trait, rather than the stubbornness itself (which is maybe a different issue?)

yep

Well it's more to do with the parenting response then, I suppose

Hope you get some helpful advice

Will bow out now, as I have a stubborn 6yr old I need to get out of the bath

I know I have handled this afternoon badly. I am staying out of their way atm for all our sakes.

DS1 is very headstrong (understatement!). Where possible, we try to put the ball in his court. Sometimes that involves simple choices and sometimes it involves presenting in no uncertain terms what the consequences would be of not choosing to do what we need him to do. "DS1, I need you to tidy away your cars/pencils so I can vacuum/we can have lunch. If you don't want to do it, I'll have to do it, which will mean they get tidied away for the rest of the day/week/forever. If I have to do it, it will also mean it'll take me longer to vacuum and make more noise/you'll have to wait longer for lunch"

Very Stubborn means Immense self-discipline.

Er, not like I'm speaking from personal experience, or anything.

We have a 6 year old who absolutely tries our patience to the very very very end.

I don't have any advice but I do threaten him with my slipper (luckily he can run faster than me) and being sent to his room helps. Although it's terribly hard taking a thrashing 6 year old up to their room.

We are going to start proper pocket money in the Summer Hols and he will lose 10p for everything he does wrong. We are starting with £2.00 and this has to include his sweets.

My children get sweets whenever at the moment. No more.