3yo hitting himself

[MegBusset]

DS1 is a sensitive soul and gets very upset when he bumps into things or is touched by a stranger. Eg today he accidentally bumped heads (not that hard) with another boy at the playground and screamed (really screamed) then whacked himself in the face several times. Later, a woman at the cafe ruffled his hair so he hit himself on the head. At bedtime, he bumped his head on his chest of drawers, so headbutted the (thankfully carpeted) floor!

It's really upsetting to see, is it normal? And how can I help him stop?

Just to say I hope someone comes along who can help as I know how upsetting that is to see. My ds is just 21 months and has occasionally headbutted the carpet or nearby object if he's very irritated by something, ie. daddy going to work in the morning. It breaks my heart! He's easily distracted out of it, but it does seem to be a way of him releasing upset when he can't verbally express it. He is also a very nice, sensitive boy who isn't ever aggressive towards others. I'm hoping that as he speaks more it might help him not to need to do it, but I don't know. Wishing you both well.

I meant e.g. not i.e. Bit tired, sorry!

Meg - my son (DS1) is what I think is Highly Sensitive - I've read the book the Highly Sensitive Child and it seems to fit - the is Normal, in that around 20% of DC s are Sensitive

He is 9 now, and growing out of some of the things, but he was very sensitive to pain - and would react very strongly to an injury another child might shrug off.

He was also very tantrummy - boiling over with emotion like a pressure cooker. On occasion he did headbutt the floor or walls in frustration - his language was good but he didn't seem able to handle strong feelings.

If this seems to fit, I'd recommend buying that book. Wish I'd had it earlier and I might have accepted him and coped better.

her's that book - might be useful for you, too oosabeauty

Thank you -- that does sound like him. He's very bright and has a very wide vocabulary but his emotional vocabulary lags behind iyswim. He is also freaked out by certain food textures and gets anxious when things are in the wrong place. He is very lovely though

Ds1 :

Fussy about food - especially relating to texture
Sensitive to loud noise - sudden - hates balloons
Complains about uncomfortable clothes - will only wear one sort of trousers
Amazing sense of smell
Intuitive
Doesn't like being wet/dirty
Likes quiet play, and by himself
Cautious about things like climbing

• amongst other things. He is also a really lovely, thoughtful, interesting boy. As I say - I think if your DS is like him, the book would really help. I have spent a lot of time worrying about DS1 - sometimes wishing he was different. Wish I'd read it earlier. I have muddled through, and encouraged him gently to confront things he finds difficult. I skipped reading the toddler part of the book because he's older, but maybe it will help you here and now.

Again that sounds very like my DS1 (apart from getting wet/dirty which he loves! he hates anything 'sticky' though).

Funny you should mention about hating climbing. The other day DS2 (who is 13mo) scarpered up to the top of the (very high) climbing frame in our local playground. DS1 won't go up there unless carried!

Oh that is very interesting Jamieandhismagictorch and Meg. My ds has a few of those qualities but is the opposite on a couple. He seems not to notice any physical pain, somersaulting off sofas and just saying 'bump!' and is never bothered by tripping over or anything like that, but he gets very irritated if he's in a room with children who are screeching, and says 'noisy, noisy, home'. Also doesn't like balloons but I think he's caught that from me and my anxiety around them. Actually, reading your ds's list, I see that I'm just the same, except with the physical aspect, just like my ds. I'll try to get hold of that book and read up on me and my ds at the same time! Thank you, and thanks for bringing this up Meg.

You are welcome. Good luck, and enjoy the little tinkers