Too many people Mummy

[Babapapa]

I'm not overly concerned, more curious. DD (age 3.5) is becoming increasingly scared of groups of people (even those she knows reasonably well) or birthday parties. Tonight she told me she didn't want to go to her cousins birthday party, which she has been looking forward to for weeks, because she said there would be too many people there. Last week at a small gathering of mums and other toddlers she kept saying too many people mummy, want to go home.

She has been attending nursery for the last 18 months (which she loves) and in many ways is a very confident child. Is it likely to be just a phase do you think?

Hopefully it is a phase as my 3.2 year old also says this and her behaviour does change when the playgroup is busier than normal.

Hope she can go to the party and enjoy it.

get down to your DD's height and you will notice that all she can see in a crowded room is legs and feet - tbh I'd be a bit scared too so don't think it's irrational at all

but she will grow out of it - just don't push it

messymissy just remembered that she used to be terrified of a certain very busy playgroup that we used to go to. She will go to the party anyway - even if I need stay with her. I said I wasn't overly concerned, but if I'm honest I probably am a bit as I was a very shy child and am desperate for her not to be.

activate completely agree, it's not irrational but recently it's been at the park, swimming pool (outdoor). Anyway, sure it's fine and she will grow out of it. I won't push it.

My daughter is just the same, particularly is she is a bit under par herself. It really rang a bell when you mentioned that you were shy as a child, I was and am also keen for her not to be, and then catch myself remembering that I had to really learn my social skills by watching and building confidence very slowly. Now people think I have always been this confident, but of course it isn't true.

Hope you and your DD have a good time at least for a bit!

I think you'll find confidence and shyness will ebb and flow.

My daughter (5) is quietly confident most of the time but I've noticed recently that in places where there is a potential for sensory overload (like a funfair) she can't handle it.

When she was 4 I took her on the dodgems. I thought she would hate it but she absolutely loved it, couldn't get enough. A year later I did the same again and she absolutely hated it. Obviously amongst other things her perception of danger has changed a lot in the last year which is probably partly the reason.

I think you need to anticipate that their attitude will be in a constant state of flux and any changes are essentially just another aspect of development, even though at times they may seem to be a step backwards. I'm sure in a little while your daughter will become more settled around groups.