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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

is my ds too young for playgroups?

31 replies

frekkles · 09/06/2010 09:59

I keep wanting to take my ds to a toddler/baby playgroup, he's 13 months and crawling like a loon and almost walking. He doesn't go to nursery, so I thought he might enjoy seeing other kids.

But all the playgroups I've seen are all on 10 - noon ish. This is when my ds naps, without fail every morning. I've tried to take him, hoping he'll stay awake for an hour longer, but he either falls asleep in the pram on the way or is so tired by the time we get there that he's grumpy and doesn't want to play anyway.

Is this because he's too young for playgroups? I find it bizarre that all the groups are on at the time , as to my knowledge most babies nap around this time in the morning. Will he start napping later soon, and that's an appropriate age to start taking him? What do others do?

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needsharesinduracell · 09/06/2010 10:01

DC1 went from about a year I think. He was napping at about 8.30/9ish for 45 mins then again at about 12.30ish for a couple of hours, so it was fine.

luciemule · 09/06/2010 10:03

It's just bad luck.
You could have a look round for an earlier one say at 9-ish or an afternoon one.
Or, could you put him down for his nap earlier and then head off for the last 40 mins or something, then back for lunch?
Or leave it until he's a bit older and not needing so long for naps.
Or just go and let him sleep in pushchair and if he wakes then fine and if he doesn't, it'll be nice for you to chat to other mums. He'll maybe wake up and be grumpy but if you've already had a cuppa and biscuit, head back home.

compo · 09/06/2010 10:05

All the ones I went to were in the afternoon but then people moaned that their kids usually sleep after dinnertime

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/06/2010 10:07

Not too young at all IMO. Agree that the timing is a bit off, my DD used to go to a playgroup which started at 1.30. It was a real PITA keeping her awake twice a week but she really did get a lot out of it.

mistressploppy · 09/06/2010 10:07

I have this problem (DS is only 7.5mo though). I'm hoping as he gets older I'll be able to mess with his naps more but judging by the OP I shouldn't count on it!

foureleven · 09/06/2010 10:08

I think at a year old he's absolutely ready to get out of the napping in the morning habit TBH. It'll do him more good to socialise than nap. Most babies do sleep at that time but he's not really a baby.

Bramshott · 09/06/2010 10:09

I guess they are that way because most toddlers nap after lunch. Maybe wait a couple of months and see what his nap time is then?

Original poster

frekkles · 09/06/2010 10:09

he's pretty clockwork really, half ten on the dot everyday! Even if I go out with him in the pram at 930am, he'll stay awake in the pram and fall asleep bang on 1030am . you could set your clock by him. He used to always nap at 230pm too, but the last 6 weeks or so that's been getting a bit more hit and miss.

Can't see any that start earlier or are in the afternoon. It's pretty much 10 -1030am starts across the board!

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mistressploppy · 09/06/2010 10:13

Frekkles, someone gave me this link to a really good sleep site, about fiddling with naps - maybe you could start shifting the morning nap so it becomes an afternoon one instead?

Original poster

frekkles · 09/06/2010 10:14

so on the subject of naps, what gives?

I've always been lead by him, he;s got a pretty strong body clock and an iron will, and will happiy nap in is own time frame but not in anyone elses. Will he start changing his nap time soon? Or should I start coaxing him ? What's normal in napping terms for a 1 year old.

At the moment he naps 1030am - noonish everyday, 230pm - 330pm ish most days (sometimes 330pm - 430pm) and sleeps 7pm - 7am everynight

OP posts:

luciemule · 09/06/2010 10:17

why don't you try waking him at 6:30 if you can manage it? That way, he'll go down for his nap half an hour earlier and you'll be able to make it to the group. Or just wake him from the nap earlier than 12, say after an hour.

mistressploppy · 09/06/2010 10:17

Sounds fine to me. I wouldn't mess if it works for you both!

Original poster

frekkles · 09/06/2010 10:17

thank you mistress ploppy, that' very interesting! shall read on!

(kudos on the name! "The long winter evenings must just fly by." )

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Original poster

frekkles · 09/06/2010 10:20

yeah i'm disinclined to mess, as I need his naps to do my own stuff and really appreciate them. I don;t want to break the nap habit.

But I know he'd like these groups. Maybe getting up at 630am is a good idea, could try that one day. uuuugh though........ and I bet he'd still just nap at 1030 like the little clockwork bugger he is! love him

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hmmSleep · 09/06/2010 10:34

Don't think I'd mess if he's sleeping through the night, enjoy it whilst you can!

If you do want to shift them a bit though, I went to a sleep specialist with dd as she was waking through the night and getting up at 5.30. Was told to stay at home (so she didn't fall asleep in pushchair or car) for a few days and not let her nap before 11.00. It was really hard work, she would be nearly asleep on her feet and it did feel a little cruel at times making her dance around the room when all she wanted to do was nap!

Only took about 3 days though and she dropped the morning nap and was napping for 2 hours after lunch instead. And sleeping much better at night!

foureleven · 09/06/2010 10:54

Ill probably be flamed for this but kids are like dogs and monkeys... you can trian them to do anything! I dont go in for all this, iron will/ being led by him business - he's a 1 yr old... youre the boss! Read the advice on moving the naps and switch it to the afternoon. You need to get out and socialise too I expect, and it'll definietly help him.

Or you could just wait a few months and see if he changes naturally. This could go too ways.. .either he will change by himself... or he wont and then it might be more difficult to retrain him.

Bramshott · 09/06/2010 10:54

I would have thought that over the next few months he will naturally swap his morning nap for an early pm one. Many toddlers have an early lunch at say 11.30/12, and then sleep 12.30 - 2.30.

Original poster

frekkles · 09/06/2010 11:08

foureleven, i'm not really up for fighting him on it, I enjoy his naps as much as he does, and he'll have them in the pram so I get out and about plenty. There's battles I choose to fight with him and those i don't, he doesn't get his own way all the time. But horses for courses!

I guess I'll wait it out over the next few months and see what happens natrually. Will I just start noticing him dropping a nap? Cause if so he's already starting to resist his afternoon one, but definately needs it still as gets knackered by teatime if he doesn't have it. What do i do then?

I'm not too worried if he does or doesn't go to toddler group tbh, he does see other kids every week.Tuesdays and thursdays he spends with a friends little boy the same age (we do a childcare swap) and I pend atleast another afternoon a week at a local cafe with tonnes of toys and toddlers. And we go to the park most days. Maybe i'm just putting pressure on myself thinking about toddler groups?

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islandofsodor · 09/06/2010 11:13

Mine went to toddler group from birth onwards.

They had a short nap in the morning but their main nap was after lunch as seemed to be the case with most of the babies/toddlers who went. Therefore 10-12 was idea, time to get older kids to nursery/school, then to toddler group. then home in time for lunch and nap.

foureleven · 09/06/2010 11:23

frekkles, it doesnt sound like youre really that bothered by it so yeah, horse for course. It was only if you were really bothered about him going to toddler group I was saying you could easily stop him napping.

Otherwise just wait, yes his patterned will change naturally.

Original poster

frekkles · 09/06/2010 11:40

thanks for that foureleven

cool, thanks for helping me work that one out ladies. I realise now that again all babies are a different, and maybe 10-noon is best for the majority, and it's not that my ds is too young. I still think i'll wait awhile though rather than messing with his naps, and in the meantime might experiement with waking him at 630am one morning.

cheers xx

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IsItMeOr · 09/06/2010 13:47

frekkles - glad to see you've worked this out. I just wanted to say that my 15mo DS dropped his afternoon nap, rather than his morning one, and he's not the only one of his peers to do that.

I would have been very happy indeed with your DS's sleeping habits, and certainly would not mess with it either, just for the sake of a playgroup.

If you're getting plenty of social opportunities yourself, sounds fine to me. My DS loves the park as much as any other playgroup I've occasionally taken to him - just so long as there are other people to watch, he is happy (likes M&S cafe, for example ).

Plenty of time for them to socialise in bigger groups when he's a bit older - they only play alongside each other, rather than with, until they're 2 or 3 anyway [shrug].

Firawla · 09/06/2010 14:08

can you find groups @ different times, there must be some 1-3 around too as those are the common times 10-12 or 1-3? rather than messing up his naps i would try to look for those then if he naps normally 2.30 he will be only little bit late and can fall asleep in buggy on the way back
10-12 is a great time for toddlers,and probably he will slowly move towards just one lunchtime or early afternoon nap when he is bigger, but yes i think 13 months really will enjoy the groups if you find something at a good time

Original poster

frekkles · 09/06/2010 23:19

Cheers folks!
Did a bit of research and can only find one group in this city that runs in the afternoon, and it's an hour away. Mental. All the fifty odd others are 10-12 or thereabouts! I really do think that the universe is telling me not to bother.

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Original poster

frekkles · 09/06/2010 23:21

Isitmeor, how does it work, dropping the afternoon nap? Isn't your ds utterly done in by teatime?

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