DS (8y) very upset tonight...eventually got it out of him..he feels unhappy because he has fat legs...Advice please!!

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I have never come across this before. It took all evening for him to disclose what the bad thoughts were that were making him really unhappy.
Ironically, he is actually pretty skinny and I thought he ws going to say that he didn't like his skinny legs. So the anxiety is not based in fact - so what on earth is going on?

I didn't know what to say to him because just saying "no they're not" isn't very helpful.
It seems nobody has called him names or said anything about his legs...so I'm at a total loss.

What do you think?
Anyone had any similar experience?

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Bless him, poor lad. I don't have any experience of this type of thing. And I don't want to sound overly dramatic about something that could well blow over and never be mentioned again. But I think boys are just as vunerable as girls to images in the media and all the talk about having the perfect body.
Maybe casually noticing and chatting about different body shapes that you see day to day and in newspaper etc and what he thinks about them. Check that his perspective on body shapes hasn't become distorted.

Tricky, our dd who has the build of a stick insect decided a year or so ago that she had tree trunk thighs. This was sparked by her sitting in shorts and seeing minimal thigh spreadage compared to her friend who had a skirt on so no comparison could possibly be made. We have found that making it a non issue has stopped it. I do feel for you though.

DS1 thinks his legs are "fat" but actually its muscle. Could it be that?

My DS1 (9) has been down recently (we are going to see a psych soon). One of the things he has occasionally said about himself when he is feeling very negative is that he is fat (he is skinny). He also wouldn't wear his puffa jacket in Winter because he said it made him look fat.

Fat has become a term of abuse, I think.

Like you - I found it pretty shocking, almost laughable really.

I try not to rise to it, but it will be one of the things I want to discuss when we get help. Sorry to not be of much help ATM

Poor boy. However, perhaps getting him involved in touch rugby or rowing could help his self esteem and get him into sport at the same time?

I too think it has become a term of abuse. My 11yr old nephew injured himself recently trying to do 100 press ups, because someone at school said he was fat (he's thin as a rake). Would it be worth having a word at school, and see if the teacher can come up with anything if children are being called names.

Do your best to convince him that he really does not have fat legs. Plus, its better having stocky legs for a guy than skinny ones. At this age they start to begin thinking about what they look like. Just reassure him he looks good and you think his legs look perfect. . and there is nothing wrong. If he is called names at school you must tell him to just ignore. You love him as he is . . which is just right ! Your words as mum will go a long way ; even if he appears not to listen much.

I have a similar issue with my 10y DD.

I'm am trying to put a possitive take on it, by saying the best way to improve body shape is to exersice. And I don't mean push-ups etc, I mean walking and cycling and swimming. Then doing these activities together as a family. That way we spend more time together, and she tends to feel happier in general thanks to the endorphins.

The thing is - he does lots of exercise - plays tennis several times a week adn loves his football and cricket. I was just so surprised to hear his outburst particularly as it tok so long to get it out of him. He may have heard his older sister saying similar things - but I suppose I was more ready to expect it from a girl with all the images and pressures society puts on females to have the perfect body