3 years old and very boisterous

[Aliway]

My little ds is 3 and I think he is wonderful in so many ways but, there have been some issues around socializing that have been brought to my attention by his pre school and when on play dates with his friends, he can be aggressive, chasing and then hitting/roaring/shouting at other children usually children around his own age or older, in fact most of his social interactions with his peers are like this. He has some loose friendships but either other children seem frightened or tease his behavior. He gets so excited when he sees other children and is desperate to join in and play but just can't seem to manage it, he is the eldest of 2 children. He seems aware that it is not a nice thing to do and when interacting with much older children and adults is chatty, he has always been very, very active but would really value anyone who has any experience or tips on how I can help him get along, thanking in advance

You could try explaining how he is making others feel. If they are not enjoying the way he is behaving towards them then you can tell him why. He would understand. Also the personal space thing can be a good think to talk about. "So and so doesn't like it when you talk in his face." etc.
Most social skills he needs for making and keeping friends will come in time naturally. Boys are slower in developing their social skills and emotional development generally. Some slower than others. It can come from highlevels of testosterone I believe.
A friend of mine's little boy,3, turns aggresive and unreasonable when he's tired. He's a lovely boy and has a great personality so I make allowenses for him when his behaviour dissolves and he's aggresive towards my son.

I also know that for boys the time between the ages of 3 and 4 is when they experience a hormone serge and this can be a very difficult age. I'm hoping that come the 4th birthday they all turn into little angels!!

Sounds a lot like my nearly 3 yr old. He just gets all hyper which leads to boisterous - and sometimes aggressive behaviour.

I try to cool him down by getting them all to play a game - sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I think (and hope) that as they get older they will learn.

Mine too is very active and if he's tired or feeling unwell his behaviour deteriorates. At home, focus his attention on a game/book. Something that will stimulate his mind rather than his body. Or in the garden he likes "helping" me by moving the soil around the border.

Sometimes, if he's getting really tired, I will settle him on the settee with a blanket and put a disney film on. At the very least he is (mostly) still for a little while.

It's harder in a nursery situation and this is where my DS has his worse behavioural problems. I've been asked on a few occassions if he does X,Y or Z at home and I've been at what they say. Mine is in a private nursery and although they're great I do wonder whether he would be better at a school nursery.

Oh mine's 4.5 years so slightly older.

I sympathise with you cos my 3 yr old DS has been in trouble at preschool today for scratching other children, he is very active, overexcited and loves to play chase with the other kids but he gets overbearing and cuddles them landing in a heap or scratches their faces. I was confronted by another mum about him scratching her daughters face this morning and she was very unreasonable with me, i think she thinks its my fault but its just the way he is at the moment unfortunately. I find it so upsetting when he does it cos no amount of telling him off is having any effect. I have to have a meeting now with the nursery to put some startegies in place to deal with it but in the mean time I cant take him to any other playsessions cos its too stressful and embarrasing!!!

Use social stories. You may be able to google it. You make them youself with paper and drawings of stick people. Make a booklet about the situation using simple stick children and draw the faces of the children in these situations. The first part of the book is about how the undesirable behaviour affects the children and the last part how happy the children are when he is calm and kind. This is not the best explanation so hope you can find it on the net.