is DN very very bright?

[drivingmisscrazy]

I've only the one DD, but am curious about her cousin - she's 22 months and can already count. I don't mean reciting her numbers - if you ask her how many ducks there are in the book, she points and counts, 1, 2, 3 (only goes up to 3). She's been into shape sorters and puzzles since about a year (DD is 16 months and is not interested in these things at all )

She does have a much more structured life than my DD (creche, parents who play with her constantly) who is pretty much left to get on with things (we read books with her, talk to her, and do play with her sometimes, but in a very unstructured way IYSWIM). I wonder if these things matter - I'm of the mind that they develop in their own way and that you might be able to push it on slightly, but as with DD and the shape sorter, you can't lead a horse to water etc. OTOH my DD is a very chilled easy going child and DN is very high strung, likes things just so etc.

I suppose I'm wondering if I shouldn't be making more effort to teach DD things (as I say, she is 16 months, can say 100+ words, use a spoon and cup, etc etc so I'm not at all worried about her, but she certainly can't do some of things that DN could do at her age.) rather than just letting her potter and footle about

Pah, DC4 is almost 2.5yo and can't do any of the stuff you child can (never mind the niece). Neither could DC1-3 do anything like that stuff at those ages.

So I'd say your niece is precocious and so is your child, but then it doesn't mean a lot (yet) because plenty of tots even out with their peers by school age. It's just something to be privately and smugly very pleased about for now.

As for how they'll turn out... Nowadays people frequently gush about DD, now 8yo, on both her physical and academic accomplishments, honestly, it's embarrassing and her brothers constantly scheme about how to try to top her!

I know - it's all a bit odd really. I know that it means very little at this stage - just the DN's counting seems a bit exceptional. I worry more about the DN's temperament to be honest - we've a lot of these very stressy people in the family and it makes life harder for them (and those that love them) than it should be).

I was a very able child (am not DD's biological mother BTW) and it was more of a curse than a blessing really - because I was set apart from my peers and lacked the social skills to offset this. OTOH I have managed to make living from my brain....

These things do not matter.

counting will be learned in good time. Independence, social skills, dressing oneself - again, not time for your daughter to do these things.

Always best not to 'push' IMHO. Lead and see if they follow, but don't push.

Must add that at age 5, I could read a newspaper out fluently to my (astounded) new teacher.

I didn't have any friends for 2 years though, because I didn't know how.

Sounds normal, just bright end of the spectrum and particularly interested in certain things.

My dd lives in an unstructured environment, am a SAHM, no nursery, creche etc, no 'teaching' but could count/recognise letters at that age. Could do puzzles with 20 odd pieces etc.

I think at that age it's more personality/interests and a degree of precociousness as opposed to genuine brilliance. Once at school I reckon you'd struggle to pick out the precocious counters/readers from the non-precocious.

Yes, self dressing, sociability, manners etc far more important at that age. And fun fgs. Are they happy?

colditz my infant school teacher used to get me to read Telegraph editorials to her! I agree, these things really don't matter - life is full of super intelligent people whose lives haven't worked out so well (and we have a distastrous example of this in the family...IQ of 150+ drug addicted and homeless )

I honestly can't remember when the dds first started counting

Or how many words they had at certain ages

But I do know that of all the 5 and 6yr olds in DD1's class, they can ALL count to at least 20 and speak in a coherent and reasonably articulate way

I agree social and independence skills far more important at pre-schiool age

Ds was the same as colditz, he is very, very bright but needed alot of help and support with social skills. It really is best not to push, just go at their pace. It's never good to push a child, it leads to alot of problems later on.

Sounds on the early side of normal to me. Toddlers just do things at different times. The one and only thing I have learnt after 3 DC is not to compare mine with other peoples...that way lies madness!

Sounds normal to me. My DD can count like that, do shape sorters, puzzles etc, talks pretty fluently and is 22 months old.

She can't get down a slide on her own though and isn't very good at going down steps.

They just have certain strengths and areas where they aren't that great in my opinion.

all useful perspective - thanks

nah, they are both normal

ta, normal is good