I'm not sure ds (5) is 'normal'. Questions about possible behavioural disorder/some form of autism.

[cupofcoffee]

Ever since he was a baby I've found him more challenging than other children and a bit 'different'. As a baby he cried a lot and was not comforted by cuddling, he had to be bounced about. He is now 5. Over the years I have thought about the possibility of some form of autistic spectrum disorder (I know only very little of this subject from what I have read so those with experience of this I would be grateful for your comments). I have never mentioned my thoughts about this to others until recently when my mother (who is a teacher) has commented about ds having certain autistic traits. Also his school teacher has mentioned about certain obsessions that he has and also agreed he has certain autistic traits. Now as I understand it (correct me if I'm wrong) children can display some of the features of autism without it meaning they are actually on the autistic spectrum. What i'm wondering is how far this can go before it warrants an assessment for possible diagnosis?

Examples of the behaviours which concern me are:
Hand flapping and rocking (does these a lot).
Obsession with time and order of things.
Repeated lining up of objects/toys (and gets really distressed if his line gets broken).
Tantrums triggered by things I don't really understand (e.g. if i have put something in the shopping trolly in the wrong place he has total meltdown.
He doesn't do role play games in the same was as his brother. when i think about it the only role play he does is playing shop, but I'm not sure if this isn't more to do with how he like to make a big line of objects for his shop and also how he is preoccupied with numbers and money rather than being a shopkeeper in his game.
His speech development has always been pretty good but he is not good at knowing when it is his turn to speak and tends to shout even when sat right next to you.

He has made friends at school.

I wonder if it is worth asking for some sort of further assessment of his behaviour? Also if ultimately he/we would get more help with dealing with these behaviours if we pushed for such an assessment?

The fact that you've posted with such clear evidence and the teacher's comments would indicate that you're already pretty sure.

Yes lots of people has ASD like traits. It's when those traits become severe enough to cause somebody problems leading their life, getting and education, etc that a diagnosis is needed.

I would highly recommend getting a diagnosis because it is the key he needs to support at school. If he's coping well now that's great (but why would the teacher raise it?) but as school becomes more demanding and rigid in it's requirements of him he may well need some help. You don't want to have to wait for a diagnosis when that happens. If he copes well throughout school you can be glad you never needed to 'cash in' the ticket to support that the diagnosis would have given him.

Well, it's a problem when it's a problem, IYSWIM. You say he has friends, and you don't mention that his behaviour is causing problems at school, but I imagine the meltdowns and inflexibility are hard to deal with. How is he in new situations? Do you find yourself limiting what you can do as a family because he finds it hard to cope? If so, I'd say you might as well start looking for a professional assessment, because these things can take a very long time to accomplish. He MAY start needing help at school as his peers mature and the differences start to seem wider.

Unprofessional opinion? As a parent of a much-cherished Aspie boy, your post is actually shouting Asperger's syndrome at me, and I guess that you've already looked at the diagnostic criteria.

We never thought our boy would get any help; in fact we were firmly told he wouldn't as he was 'not far behind his peers' and 'others needed it far more' (Be warned that bullshit will come your way at some point if you do try for extra help for him!)

DS now has a full-time statement and a place in an autism unit attached to a mainstream secondary. If that sounds improbable and surely not applicable to your son, well, it would have seemed so to us too when he was five and just 'a bit unusual', but it's soooo much the right thing for him, and he's now having an easier ride through school than his brother. The unit is great, and so is the boy, now classed as gifted rather than 'not much behind', laidback, amiable to a fault and currently reading PG Wodehouse while simultaneously chortling over spoof Windows error messages and playing the drums with one foot (I think he's meant to be doing his Maths homework and need to go and do some parental yelling shortly).

He's still undeniably autistic, but a great pleasure to have around, and good school help has contributed greatly to that. If you go down the same route, I hope it works out as well for you and your son. Good luck.

Yes I guess you could say he has had some problems at school. He is not far into his school life as yet so the teachers I think are just keeping watch. They have metioned concerns regarding his increasing obsession with time and that he gets distressed unless they are very clear to him about the order in which things are going to be done that day. They say they write a daily list on the board of what is going to happen and read though this, ds likes the list and they say this helps to keep him happy but he still asks 'how many minutes is it until...'
The other thing at school is that he doesn't sit still so they are trying a special mat for him to sit which has things on for him to fiddle with. Otherwise I think behaviour at school is ok in that he is not rude or anything like that.

Lancelottie I have read about criteria for Asperger's and a lot of it seems to fit to be honest. I do find it reassuring that you have received good support from your ds' school. This is one of my concerns really, how hard will it be to try to obtain an assessment and possible diagnosis and then what support will follow? I was thinking that it is all well and good to get a diagnosis but what then? Will it help us/ds?

smallwhitecat it sounds like you've had a bit of a fight. Have you managed to access much support since getting a diagnosis?

We were incredibly lucky to get as much support as we have. Primary school was a hard time. We started the ball rolling for assessment at 6 and the school did its best with no information and no extra funding for the next two years (at one point they had an 'emergency relief' grant to get a TA for him, which made him sound like a samll earthquake).

The Ed Psych turned out to be available to visit school only twice a YEAR (and she was the one who said we wouldn't want to label him, many other children needed the help more, he wasn't far enough behind to qualify for help, yada, yada... ).

We were told that the school needed to document that it had tried all reasonable strategies at School Action and School Action Plus for at least a year before they were allowed to throw in the towel and say 'This isn't working', and apply for a statement instead. I suspect this isn't, shall we say, strictly true.

Meanwhile, our mildly eccentric little-professor DS was becoming more and more distressed about school -- headbanging, dribbling, screaming, hiding from staff. School sent him home for lunchtimes for a long time on the grounds that they couldn't be responsible for him (this definitely isn't legal, by the way. Nor is it legal to insist that parents accompany all school trips, or remove the child for Ofsted inspections because it might upset him. And this is a genuinely good, caring school. Hey ho.)

We got an initial statement for 15 hours' support at 8, but meanwhile DS's behaviour had tipped over into quite severe anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder, and we had started seeking help from CAMHS (Child/Adolescent Mental Health services). It took two years to get to the top of the waiting list for any help, and that was with frequent pleas from us, the school, his GP and the local autism coordinator.

Bizarrely, the GOOD thing about this was that at 10, he was in such a precarious state that his support hours were upped to full-time, so the school was able to employ a lovely permanent TA for him for his final year -- and he was offered his current secondary school placement which takes just 8 pupils, is attached to a better secondary than our catchment school, and is only available to those with full-time support.

God, I'm writing you an essay. Not what you need at this early stage. Sorry!

SO, help available if you go for diagnosis and assessment might include:
*Teaching assistant time -- perhaps to prepare him for change and write timetables

*Specialist autism outreach workers (who come in and give your school advice which they then may or may not follow)

*'Reasonable adjustment' (on grounds of disability -- yes, the term sets my teeth on edge) to the school's policies on things like discipline, homework, uniform, seating, lunchtimes (does he need to eat somewhere quieter, or come inside at break, or be helped with social skills, or be given time somewhere calm?)

*'Statement of needs' -- rare as hens' teeth in some areas; sets out what the school MUST do to support your child (though they still may not... sigh)

*Statemented hours of support -- extra funds specifically for your child's needs

*CAMHS support -- the OCD and phobias responded very well to CBT, in our son's case

Lancelottie 'essay' is perfect thanks. Good to hear what sort of things may happen further down the line for us.

Oh good. I was a bit worried that I might be scaring you by mentioning just how bad things got, but DS is a success story now, honest (and he's done the maths homework). And SWC -- thanks! The thing is, everyone was agreeing that he urgently needed the help, but no one was available to do it