Help: Violent tantrums

[Clare123]

Hi, I always seem I am posting on here! My 2.10 yr old, has always been fairly agressive. (We went through a horrible stage when he was 2 when he would hit out randomly). Then we went through a stage when it almost stop and now we have seemed to gone right back.

If I say no to him, he will hit, scratch or bite me. He looks so angry and it is clear he wants to hurt me. I say no and put him on timeout every time (which he won't sit on so it becomes a bit of a battle). When he says sorry I explain how he has hurt me.

It is really getting me down. Its ben going on a few weeks now and I just feel like we are not getting anywhere. I have also noticed he is hitting his friends more over toys if he does not get it.

Has anyone got any words of widom? I really am at the end of my tether with him and spend a lot of time feeling really angry.

the 2s and 3s are really hard.He sound quite normal to me.
In my opinion you need to try and antisipate what he is going to do.Then distract,distract ,distract.Don't worry it's normal.He needs clear loving boundries.The more I say "don't do that" the more they often do it.Try and say "come on over here lets play with these cars together" etc. etc

It is hard work until they are 4ishhhhhhh

Distract whenever you can. If you can't then make the boundaries very firm and predicable. When he realises that the tantrum doesn't make anything change he'll lose the will to keep having them. He will still have them now and then just to check if the boundaries are still there of course.

The more flexible the boundaries, the longer he will tantrum.

Thank you for replying! It's just so hard. I try to be consistent, but I must admit I do loose my temper and raise my voice at times (and then feel terrible).

I am experiencing exactly the same problem with my 3 year old - he is very aggressive towards me and his younger brother, and seems to go into a complete meltdown at the smallest thing. I am starting to recognise triggers, i.e. low blood sugar levels and am learning to anticipate this behaviour but some days I despair and feel so guilty because I just don't like him very much when he is being like this. I am hoping he is just a threenager and it is a phase!

Like the other posters said - I was nanny to a little boy who was like this - remove him from whatever toy/situation he is screaming about but silently. I found this worked - do not say a word and put him in his room/time out step and if he moves again put him back without saying a word.

When he calms down explain quietly what he did and why you had to remove him. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Keep the boundaries clear and consistent.

I also found the two minutes he was on the step or in his room gave me two minutes to breathe and calm down myself down!