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Original poster

Should I use a Dummy

20 replies

laurabow · 06/06/2010 19:26

I am considering giving my 10 week old son a dummy as he seems to find it comforting and it helps settle him for naps during the day, but am concerned that this may affect him at night as currently he is sleeping through. I worry that if I end up giving him it at night he may begin waking at night wanting it. Would be interesting to hear from you that used dummies - did you have to get up several times a night in the early days/did they wake early looking for it? Thanks in advance.

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Chelly71 · 06/06/2010 20:07

Hi, I use a dummy for my 5 month DS and yes, he does wake up in the night and needs the dummy replacing... if I could go back in time (arh the joy of hindsight) I would use it to settle him (he is very sucky and wouldn't settle at all early on without a dummy) but not let him sleep with it. So have it in when you are soothing in your arms and then remove it when putting him in the cot. That way he shouldn't develop a sleep association with it.

This is just a view from someone who was saved by the dummy though but wishes she could tweak the conseqences!! No point in using if you don't have to. If it helps my DS used to take ages settling for day naps, by the time he went down it was almost time to get up again... but I persisted and it got better after about 2 weeks. He is perfect now at day naps but just restless and in need of the dummy from about 3am every morning!

Good luck x

Sunnydale · 06/06/2010 21:19

World of pain, my friend! If you give him a dummy be aware that it may dominate your life until... ooh... the age of six... in a way you never thought possible. I speak only from my own experience, mind. DD is now 4 and still obsessed with dummies; would suck them (yes, she likes to have two at once - one to suck and one to "diddle") all day if we'd let her. That said, I gave my second DD one at three weeks old! Both DDs are sucky babies, and that's that. With hindsight, I'd use the dummy when your DS is tiny enough not to know what it is, then swiftly withdraw before he starts to fathom it out. We relied too much on a dummy in daytime hours for our eldest DD even when she was around 3, say on long journeys etc to have a quieter trip. I regret that. Dummy usaage isn't always the shortcut to nirvana that it seems: use with caution!

mintyfresh · 06/06/2010 22:15

DS never took to a dummy but was always hard to settle at night and still doesn't get to sleep very well - he's now 6!

DD loved her dummy from about 4 weeks old - we got rid of it when she turned 3. Yes, we did have to get up and put it back in the night occasionally but she's always been a brilliant sleeper and easy to settle. It has also been a godsend when out and about to calm her down or for naps. Getting rid of it wasn't half the battle I thought it would be either!

Firawla · 07/06/2010 12:10

if he sleeps through without it dont give it at night but let him have it for naps only? thats what i do with my ds2 i was worried the same that if he gets too dependant on it @night it will disrupt his sleeping habits

Starlet71 · 07/06/2010 22:58

I didn't have much choice in the matter as my baby was given a dummy by the nightstaff on the maternity ward when he was crying and I was zonked! Prior to this I wasn't that keen on dummies. I did find it a godsend though as a quick and easy settler during the early weeks.

Now he's 6 months I let him use it at night as I've read that it may be a factor in reducing the risk of cot death (sorry I don't have the reference to hand. Possibly it prevents the baby falling into deep sleep), and if he's unsettled during the day and I've ruled out any obvious cause. I remove it once he's happy, and he doesn't seem to miss it. He hardly ever uses it during the day now.

Night-time is a different story - he wakes up at least three times per night when his dummy has fallen out, and me and DH are resigned to 'dummy replacement duties' for a while. He does settle very quickly though and there could be other reasons why his sleep is a bit disturbed around this age (ie not just dummy dependency) so I'm not too concerned at the moment. I might start reducing the night-time use if it becomes a major issue.

I'd like to see it gone by the time he's a year old though.

Not sure if this helps your dilemma!

Good luck

cat64 · 07/06/2010 23:08

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gibbberish · 07/06/2010 23:12

I used a dummy for dd1, dd3 and dd4, with great success. Managed to wean them off it by the time they were three. Think I might have gone insane with sleep deprivation if they hadn't had one.

dd2 refused to have a dummy and sucked her thumb. Her teeth were the worst of the lot...

cat64 · 07/06/2010 23:14

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funnysinthegarden · 07/06/2010 23:18

yes, use a dummy. DS1 got rid of his at 6 weeks himself and DS2 is quite attached at 4 months, but honestly, they are a life saver.

BTW in the maternity unit after having DS2, I got thoroughly told off by the midwife for using a dummy. I just at her and she never mentioned it again!

Karoleann · 07/06/2010 23:18

DS1 had a dummy til 22 months and was a nightmare, he just wanted to suck it constantly. I can still hear the verbal echo diddy....diddiy (which was his word for dummy). I eventually had enough and went cold turkey with it and he was fine after a couple of days. It did really help when he was little, a lot of babies enjoy to suck and it stops them sucking on you all the time.
DS2 had a dummy til 10 months, he started waking at night as the dummy had fallen out of his mouth, again went cold turkey and had forgotten about it the next day.
I'd def go for it and stop at about 1!

katiepotatie · 07/06/2010 23:19

Dd 3 never had a dummy, although I tried, she was constantly attached to my boob!
When Ds came along, I couldn't be constsantly feeding with a toddler so I tried him with one. It falls out a couple of times, usually before I go to bed and needs replaced, but he settles again in seconds, once he'ds in a deep sleep it falls out, but he doesn't wake up. He's 13 months now, and I do not let him have it during the day unless he's in bed.

lilmissmummy · 07/06/2010 23:22

both of mine had a dummy and they were thrown away at about 18 months.

Absolute godsend!

funnysinthegarden · 07/06/2010 23:22

oh and re waking at night. Neither of mine have ever woken at night looking for their dummy. I have only needed to use them when my babies were tired and needed to go to sleep or to fend off a feed for a few minutes

mumintroll · 07/06/2010 23:25

get something called a wubbanub - it's a dummy attached to a stuffed animal, makes it easier for them to find it at night (and also makes it harder for the thing to fall out of the crib). had 3 of these for our 3rd child and never had to wake up at night to replace (did not have for child 2, did have to replace at times).

ChezzaB · 08/06/2010 21:03

Hi I use a dummy with DS2who is 9mo I really wish I hadn't started with it but hey ho! He only has it during the day as I thought exactly like you and was worried about him waking and needing it replaced etc. He sleeps really well at night and settles without it which is bizarre cos he will not go down for his nap without it! We are slowly trying to wean him off it, like now he has a forward facing car seat (as of today) I won't give it to him in the car anymore as he can see me and hopefully I can sooth him if need be! (I hope) Anyway what I'm trying to say is that a dummy doesn't mean sleepless nights!

felicity10 · 08/06/2010 21:25

My daughter is 16 weeks old, i started using it at about 4 weeks when she just wanted to suckle on me the whole time. I just give it to her maybe half an hour before shes due a feed to stretch her, or just before a nap to get her off to sleep. It falls out after she's been asleep a while and she doesn't wake up - and she's been sleeping through since 3 weeks (by the grace of god!). I keep one by the side of my bed, and if she wakes up early, it buys me another 30mins in bed, she'll happily have a very contented face and nod back off. I also use it to settle her in the car seat which she hates to begin with!

So, having seen some of my friends do, and some don't it is now clear that it works for some and others wouldn't even take them. But one thing is for sure..."Whatever gets you through the day!" There are lots of ways to get rid of them later, its just not the end of the world, however a sane mummy who is able to use it as a tool is much more important! take care

Ryoko · 09/06/2010 09:26

my boy is a month old and loves his dummy, screaming for it all the time when he spits it out.

if it wasn't the dummy it would just be something else, in the hospital after he was born it was the scratch mits, he'd rob them against his face and suck them, if you took em off him he would cry his head off. when the mittens got washed he turned to his fingers and lost interest in the mittens, I didn't like him sucking on his fingers all day so I got him to use a dummy. I can now see him developing an attachment to muslin squares.

why I see it there is nothing wrong with Dummies because the kid will find security in something be it the dummy a blanket or something else the behaviour will be the same no matter what you do.

I sucked my fingers when I was a kid, they looked manky for years after which is why I don't want him doing it.

chenge · 09/06/2010 12:08

gave mu DD a dummy when she was two weeks old,when she sleeps if falls off her mouth,many times she sleeps without it,she is two months now and i use the dummy mainly to pacify,,sometimes if i give it to her and she is not sleepy or crying,she just spits it out,,and thats lovely,,so she decides,,

DastardlyandSmugly · 09/06/2010 12:36

Both of mine have had dummies with no real problems.

DS (4) gave his up around his 3rd birthday. We talked about it in advance and he took them up nursery for the babies. He was upset for a few days but now fine and is still proud that he helped the babies out.

DD (21m) still has hers. When she turns 2 in August I'm going to limit dummies to bedtime only and stop her having them other times (we're already started cutting her down) with the aim of getting rod of them by 3 as well.

One thing that has made a huge difference with us is that we put a lot of dummies in the cot so they can find them if they wake up in the night and need one.

mylittlemonkey · 10/06/2010 22:37

Dummies are great if you use them wisely. I use to settle when out and about until i can find somewhere to feed DS or to assist with daytime naps or if just need a bit of comforting towards end of day. However, have learned lesson that dummies are not for bedtimes unless you want to keep getting up and putting it back in everytime it falls out - and it will fall out at least a hundred times just as he is about to fall asleep and wake them back up again!!

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