Please cheer me up by telling me the funny things you're children have said or done. :-)

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my 5 year old daughter always come out with really funny comments and sayings and the teachers at school call them "Lucy classics" and tell me when I pick her up if they've heard another Lucy classic.
I'm thinking of writing them down and putting them in her memory box for when she's older. I could put the age beside each quote.
I'd love to hear about any one else's "classics" I have tooth ache and need cheering up.
Lucy's latest was one about mis pronouncing frog spawn. (That was a different thread)

DS 2.6

I'm getting a little tired of being spoon fed my Ds's bath water and told its 'very lovely soup' so he can laugh at me spitting it back out and pulling faces (yeah yeah I know its disgusting!)

Anyway, I thought he might stop/lose interest if I exclaimed how yummy it was and how I would now have a mug full every day........ his reply ..... 'go on then' whilst holding out a container full to the brim of bubbly bath water ARGGGG !

We both laughed for quite a while afterwards

My DD is 11.

She said today

"Mum, I don't mean this the way it sounds but when Grandpa dies can I have his Iphone?"

Told Dad to check his coffee before he drinks it, and the brakes on his car...

my 3 year old daughter picked up a spoon she had dropped on the floor, passed it to me and sat down again. i said thankyou and she replied 'thats okay, its all part of the service'.
the other day whilst driving the car, i yawned and she said 'you cant go to sleep while youre driving...youll die'!

My ds age 4 is terrible for repeating adverts so I got some bathroom mouse out and he turned to me and said all serious 'bang and the dirt is gone'

When brushing his teeth he said 'is that as big as a pea'

He also went through a funny phase of hating dirt and was walking down the road screaming you need to wipe my shoes mummy because they are on the floor and all dirty.

Also dp decided to introduse ds to a hot dog cue ds screaming nooooo!!!!!!!! we must not eat harry (our dog).

My DD declared she had 'pens and noodles' in her feet after sitting with them tucked up beneath her.

Also apparently her older cousin 'instructed' her the other day, she meant struck, as in he had hit her in a playful manner

now it is vaguely hot and i have my legs out dd2 has taken to stroking them and saying in a disgusted way

"mummy they are prickly again"

Ds 3.8 invents little songs.

The latest is: "I need a wee, I need a poo, I need a wah wah too."

DD1 (nearly 4); has little sister 15 months & is consequently told to share ALOT..

We have a cupboard in the kitchen which contains biscuits, lollies, drinks, crisps etc etc. DD1 had been climbing up onto the surfaces to help herself she was told that she wasn't allowed & that it was my cupboard to distribute things from.

DD1 came back with "but Mummy you must share your cupboard"
I do not know how I kept a straight face...

Yesterday dd told us that she'd seen the result of an ant nest disturber. It appears that some ants were doing anty stuff (walking around), but in her mind they'd been disturbed.

I remember I made a effort and got dolled up to go for lunch skirt and strappy sandals. I picked ds up from school and in front of all the mummies he shouted 'mummy you have got no trousers on and why are your shoes broken the rain will get your toes'. Cue many mum's grinning at me.

I was mortified especially as all the mummies now know how often I make a effort .

Thanks everyone, that's cheered me up no end.

DD1 (3.5) said the other day, 'So when you made me Mummy how did you stick my head on? Did you use glue'?

these are all great, ours include

this week ds1 (just 4) 'ohh ds2 (2) you make me so stressed'

ds1 (3.5yrs at time) after granny broke her cracker present at christmas
my mum 'oh no its broken'
ds1 'stop whinging granny,you should be more gentle'

and today I took boys to dentist for the first time and they are having some renovation done, far from being put off they were thrilled that the hammering, sawing and drilling were people getting new teeth, ds2 looked quite disappointed when dentist showed him a 'real' drill

LOL at all threads.

Last week my DS (5.9) and I on the beach. I needed the loo and told him he'd have to come (bout 50m) away. He wanted to stay and play with the friends he'd made (10/12ish).
I said he couldn't but we'd only be a minute then he could play when we got back - he was convinced he's be ok to stay. He then announced 'mummy I will be ok here on my own it's just your a little nervous about leaving me'

DD 3, rumaging in Nana's handbag
" oh Nana, I found my make up", backing out of the room with the make up bag.
Nana " No it's nana's make up, put it back in the bag please"
DD " Nana, we share in this house"

My 19 month old shouts 'For God's Snake!'

She laughs hysterically whenever I injure myself, stub my toe or drop something.

When she was 14 months she came out with 'I'm a bit bamboozled' - just out of the blue.

Unfortunate phrase of the moment is her pronounciation of 'blackcurrants'. I can't give them to her in public.

Oh and yesterday was running around the park saying "It's important to come prepared. I've got my very important water."

ds (4) told me the other day when asked if he could take his toys back to his room "look mummy i am laying on this sofa 40 mins to relax, you do it"!!!!

At the petrol station...

DS (6) if Diesel and Unleaded were football teams which one would you support?

DS (2) recently told me off for making a mess in the garden (I was blowing a dandelion clock!)

He also pointed and shouted at our elderly neighbour 'Boys have willies and you are not allowed to wear a dress!'

We also went through a phase where DS loved 'The Fox in Socks' but couldn't pronounce it yet, so would carry the book over to our guests shouting 'F* on Suck!!'