Takin away a child's attachment object (security blanket)

[TheManor]

Wise mumsnetters I need your help! Tonight we have taken away DD2's (age 4) attachment object. She has been in bed since 7pm, asleep for only one hour, the rest of the time crying and sobbing for her 'thing'. DH and I are taking it in turns to sit with her to try to calm her.
This feels very mean, but the thing is, unlike her big brother whose object is a stuffed cat, dd's object is a dummy.
WWYD - should we let her have it because it is her special thing, or stay strong and not let her have it because it is a dummy and she is too old...

I'd let her have it for bed, until she was ready to give it up.
My daughter has a comfort toy and she's 5.3, and it's never crossed my mind to take it away. I really wouldn't care if she still used it at 16.

I would be strong and take it away.
You will have a couple of bad nights perhaps, but it's worth it.
Can you take her to get a special treat tomorrow for being a big girl?

We were advised by our gp to get rid of ds's security blanket, he used to stuff it in his mouth at night and was having breathing problems and now has an over-bite. We went cold turkey, it was AWFUL for about 48 hours, he'd cry at night and walk around whimpering 'cloth, cloth' in a sad little voice to himself during the day.

After that he was absolutely fine though, just had to keep reminding myself it was for his health. Not sure I could have done it if not for health reasons though, dd still has 'ted' aged 4.5.

My nephew had a dummy until he was 3.5, he was developing a lisp. My sister told him the dummy fairy was coming to take it away from under his pillow and would give him a nice present in return. He put it under his pillow at night and my sister snuck in and replaced it with a new toy, no problem.

I was a girl who loved her dummies and was bribed with a toy to get rid of them and it worked. It was going to be my suggestion but see you have done that. Glad its gone well. It won't be long before she manages to find a way to get to sleep without it. You ahve done the right thing. I do think there is something different about a dummy to anything else (except thumbs of course!) Really glad she is positive about it, this means it will work quicker.

Let her keep it. I am presuming YOU gave her the dummy in the first place...? So why on earth should she give it up on YOUR schedule? Sounds very cruel to me.

So a 4-year old has a dummy..big deal, she's not the only one. I had a dummy at night till 7.

Coming to this thread a bit late, but I would take it away. if that makes me a meanie then so be it, dummies can cause all sort of problems. Yes I gave all three of mine a dummy (preferable to a thumb) and i took them away by the time they were 2.5yrs - although we struggled with youngest DS.
The longer you allow your daughter - who is growing rapidly to have one the more potential for deformed teeth and palate, poor speech and muscle development, the more attached she is going to get to it.

sorry but thats just my opinion and caring for children who have some significant and concerning speech problems - part of down to the dummy then I am probably biased.

Update on night three - DD was fine during the day today (but had about 3 hrs less sleep last night than usual - late to fall asleep and early to rise). This evening she asked for it back at bedtime, but was nowhere near as sad as on Friday. She was asleep by 8.30pm after about an hour to settle. No sign of total trauma so far, although she is obviously sad and would like it back.

Thanks for your views on this. No consensus. I do agree if her 'thing' wasn't a dummy, I wouldn't have taken it away. A dummy seems to be more than a simple object though - aside from the health issues, it is a cultural symbol - and DD has absorb what having a dummy means, and I think, has struggled with being a big girl and still having one.

I still think I have done the right thing, although two consequences - a sadder DD than I would like for an as yet unknown timeframe, and a more tired DD (and thus less nice to be around). I am hopeful it will be worth it. Thanks again for your views on this