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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Separation anxiety hell - HELP

10 replies

dinkystinky · 04/06/2010 11:26

I've posted this in sleep too (in case anyone experiences Deja Vu) - Since last Friday DS2 (nearly 16 months) has developed separation anxiety at nap and bed time - has to see us to fall asleep. Have been working on gradual withdrawal over the past week but from a little boy who would happily follow the bedtime routine (bf, story, into cot, burble and sleep) and sleep through he's turned into a nightmare who takes over half an hour to get to sleep and who wakes several times in the night wailing inconsolably. Has anyone had this, what did you do to get through it? A week of it has made poor DH and I feeble shadows of our former selves. Any advice/reassurance this too will pass (hopefully soon) will be most welcome.

OP posts:

moocowme · 04/06/2010 11:40

are you sure he does not have an ear infection or something like that? my DS would got to bed on his own and sleep well until yet another ear infection came along.

Original poster

dinkystinky · 04/06/2010 12:09

Good point and will check it out - but he doesnt seem to be upset/miserable when he lies down, its only when he cant see me or DH around that he wails for Britain...

OP posts:

mummy2WLH · 04/06/2010 13:15

I could have written your post. My DD is 16 months also and we are going through the identical thing. She also wakes many times in the night and screams as soon as she realises we are not there. I can only offer empathy. I will be watching for inspiration if anyone offers any great solutions.

Original poster

dinkystinky · 04/06/2010 14:20

Thanks mummy2WLH - its pretty relentless isnt it! Never had this with DS1 so is coming as a total shock to the system - good think DS2 is pretty adorable the rest of the time though or I'd be putting him up on ebay...

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mummy2WLH · 04/06/2010 14:41

DD is number 3 and we have also never dealt with this before. It is hell, I keep praying it is just a short lived thing but as we are into week 3 I am losing faith... Ebay sounds like a plan, I might see if anyone fancies a buy one get a 3 and 4 year old free! Can't see there being many takers though...

Original poster

dinkystinky · 04/06/2010 20:20

It appears we're the only ones ever to go through separation anxiety mummy2WLH - either that or no one else survived the experience

DS2 went to sleep fine tonight - though I had to sit by his cot for 25 minutes until he finally drifted off. DS1 was delighted at having extra downstairs playtime while I was getting DS2 off to sleep. God only knows what will happen tonight though. Wishing you luck.

OP posts:

mummy2WLH · 05/06/2010 00:53

Well we had a terrible night . I am 8 hours ahead of UK so it is morning for us. I had to get up over and over and in sheer desperation I ended up sleeping on her floor at 0130. I have always been so strong about not giving into crying but she wakes the boys up and we just end up getting no unbroken sleep all night. As we are abroad we have no family to help out. I feel like I need to do what I can to survive. I feel like a zombie most days. I end up being a real grump and then having to have all 3 of them alone all the next day AAAH.

I hope your night goes more peacefully than ours!

Latootle · 05/06/2010 18:50

is there a small light on? perhaps go buy a bedtime toy of his choosing say things like ""newtoy" needs a story etc has to rest his eyelids so you do the same I'm just going to do so and so but can hear the story as well. good luck.

Original poster

dinkystinky · 05/06/2010 20:41

Oh mummy2WLH - so sorry you had such a terrible night. I sat with DS2 for 35 minutes last night till he went to sleep at 7.40 and DS2 woke at 10 crying - we gave him cuddles and a bit of milk and he eventually settled down to sleep again and then thankfully slept till 5ish this morning which was amazing.

However has taken him around 50 minutes to finally go to sleep tonight - and am really expecting a hellish night tonight. I started a similar thread in sleep and a few people who have survived this posted on there - so hope is out there....

Latootle - will try a bedtime toy and story. Fingers crossed it will help.

OP posts:

mumbar · 05/06/2010 21:01

I think its normal?? My ds went through the same at this age. Use to get outta bed and come to my room/lounge. I put a stairgate on his door and one night he used toy boxes to make 'stairs' and still got out!!

I brought a night lamp thing that went on with a touch (you can put it on the wall by the bed) think his had winnie the pooh on and he settled with this on. I also used a cd player to play stories.

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