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I think DS has Aspergers - what to do?

3 replies

appledumpling · 03/06/2010 10:01

I won't bore you with the details as it woud be very very long but DS is 3.5 and I am 99% certain he has Aspergers.

Should I go to the doctor? What are they likely to do?

I want to help DS as much as I can but don't necessarily want him "labelled" IYKWIM.

OP posts:
lingle · 03/06/2010 11:19

If you "say the right things" to the doctor then s/he will refer you to a paediatrician. You want a developmental paediatrician but you'll just as likely get a general paediatrician.
"right things" are essentially conveying to the doctor that there are things your child doesn't seem to be able to "get" or process: it might be imaginative play; it might be reading other people's body language; it might be that he can talk well but seems to struggle to understand what others say to him; it might be problems with eye contact.

Emphasising naughty behaviour, on the other hand, isn't such a clear signal for doc. You can mention it , but don't lead with it. Ditto unusual or precocious interests in numbers/letters etc. Very relevant, but don't make those the first things you say.
You'll meet with the. paed. and go over the history.
Believe it or not, aspergers is being "abolished" over the next few years from the US diagnostic manual that the UK also follows,(your GP may not know this) so be warned that you might end up with a diagnosis of ASD.

Re the labelling, come over on to the special needs board to talk in more detail. But as soon as you have the first appointment, even the GP's appointment, ask what the process is. In my area, they were very helpful and clear. Paed. recommended multi-disciplinary assessment and told me the first step was me giving my consent. So I knew exactly at what point I'd be putting the matter in someone else's hands, as it were. Others have gone to a first paed. appointment and got a dx there and then, sometimes before they were ready to take that step. But the largest group are those who have fought long and hard for a dx. If your child has good speech, that can "mask" the processing/sensory problems, so it can be harder to get the problems recognised.

Someone on the SN board recently said she'd found it 95% helpful 5% unhelpful to get a label for herself. For our son, we felt it would be 10% helpful, 90% unhelpful - it's different for every child, every family, and in every year of their childhood. The main problem with dx is the generalisations that people can make, but you don't have to tell everyone about it if you do go for it.

appledumpling · 03/06/2010 11:50

Thank you so much lingle.

All the things you mention in your first paragraph are the things I'm seeing with DS. Plus his speech is excellent, his numeracy startlingly good and he's picking up letters and words without too much assistance. And he has bowel issues.

Yes, I knew there was a move to abolish Aspergers as a dx. I think this would be a mistake personally (but that is for another discussion).

I've been mulling it over for so long - I'm sure I have Aspergers to some degree and also my father. I can't speak for my Dad but I really struggled through childhood and adolescence and still find navigating my way through the world a bit tricky.

I would hope that getting a dx would help DS. I was left to flounder and was just the clever but odd one. I felt completely adrift until I read a book by a lady with high-functioning autism in my late twenties. At that point everything made sense - I would like to spare DS as much of the difficulties as I can.

OP posts:
lingle · 03/06/2010 13:14

it's always easier if you can identify....(though it makes you very fragile if you see them experiencing any social problems)

Perhaps the abolition of aspergers as a quasi-medical term will be a positive - it will become more of a cultural identity - which could work quite well for him as he gets older.

good luck at the doctors.

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