Is he tantruming or does he genuinely need me?

[sukiking]

Hi everyone. I'm in one of my tizzies again. 15 month old DS keeps squealing like he's upset, exactly like he used to when he was ill for 6 months. But now I'm not sure if it's tantruming or illness. Obv if he does it when he can't have something he wants, I ignore it. But he sometimes does his weird "ill" squealing for no apparent reason. I keep going to comfort him but what if it's just because he wants attention... am I just creating a monstrous brat by responding to his every whim? He's off his food so he's poss a bit poorly at the mo (but could just be fussiness). The health visitor said that after being ill for so long, he's learnt 'ill reactions' to everything, whether he's ill or not. So how am I meant to differentiate between illness and tantruming?? It's doing my head in. Any words of wisdom out there? Thanks.

I don't know your ds's history with illness, but presumably it had some physical symptoms when he was actually ill? If so, does he have any of the same symptoms now? And have you done the usual checking temperature etc?

You're probably the best person to judge if there is genuinely something wrong (and whether it is similar to when he was ill before) but imo if there aren't any symptoms (temperature, fever, redness of ears, throat, vomiting, diarrahea etc) then not sure how else you would tell a child was ill anyway?

Not sure that's a very useful piece of advice from your HV tbh

The problem with parenting is it's all trial and error. You are probably best placed to judge what's behind the squealing because you know him better than anyone else. You're aware that you don't want to spoil him so he's unlikely to take too much advantage. Remember that being ill would have been frightening and unpleasant for him and he may be reacting in this way from fear too.

Allow yourself to make the best guess you can and accept that it's ok for you to make mistakes too.