Reward charts/ Star charts - do they really make a difference?

[ilovespinach]

I'm really struggling with ds1 (4.2). At timrd he behaves very badly - it's a struggle to get dressed in the morning, won't listen or play nicely with his brother, doesn't behave well when I take him out etc.....

I've thought about using a reward system or star chart to encourage good behaviour instead of every time me saying 'no ds....'

Are there any folks out there who have used either one of these and did they make a difference?

I'm leaning more towards a star chart...so I will get a big piece of paper and put down the areas I would like him to improve on...so draw some clothes for getting dressed in the morning, using the toilet instead of the potty etc....

I was thinking then if we get a day with all stars, then he could choose something small as a reward (something which he gets for nothing at the moment) so watching a dvd or having a chocolate or something...

Then when we get to the magic number of starts he can choose something bigger...

What do you think?

I have used one, it does work I find, but only for a limited time and they tend to get bored of it. someone suggested to me a money jar, get a big empty jar and put a 20p (or whatever you want) in it at the end of each day if they have been good and then by the end of the week, if they have managed to get money each day you can give them a bonus. then they have some money to spend on chocolate or match attax or whatever? that seems to work well because they can literally see it building up

It works well for me. My DTDs are nearly 4 and we use star charts when we want to focus on a particular area of behaviour. At the moment, they're getting a sticker for good table manners - so we have a chart with days of the week and breakfast/lunch/tea on it. If they get two weeks' worth of stickers with no gaps, then they'll get taken out for a meal somewhere they like. We've also used charts recently for doing as they're told straight away and similar. I find that they work well short-term and for very specific things. I've never bothered to use one just to encourage them to "be good" or whatever - not specific or measurable enough. I do find it an effective tool though - they certainly seem to perform for stickers, and within a couple of weeks the behaviour we want has become habit, and so the star chart is discontinued, once the agreed reward has been earned and given.

I agree about their use for specific behaviours on a short term basis.

I used one for DD1 (3.5) during a toileting regression. First time round it was a failure - I had promised an unspecified reward - and although she got little rewards for each completely dry day while she was working up to the full shebang, she lost interest and it was a waste of time.

Second time round I gave her the choice of reward (pink sparkly shoes) and we negotiated the qualifying period - eventually settling on five consecutive dry days being the goal. This time she had no daily rewards but - boy - she wanted those shoes. Only one wee accident in that week and she's been fine ever since. ANd she ADORES the shoes.

The behaviour has to be specific and measurable - I'd concentrate on one at a time. I think it'd work for getting dressed or toileting.

Harder for being nice to siblings or general good behaviour. DD1 gets an allocated TV viewing and I find it more useful to erode her screen time for these kinds of misdemenours. So incentives (star charts) for positive behaviours and penalties for undesirable ones.