Tell me about my 2YO

[Harimo]

I have (just) 2YO son.

He's perfectly happy and healthy in everyway, which I am utterly thankful for, but I have one niggle... Not really a concern, just a niggle......

He is OBSESSED about trains.. This is not the usual 'Thomas the tank' - He's pretty much moved on from him to real life trains... Steam trains, more usually diesels.. the bigger the better.

he has quite a few DVDs of these serious trainspotting trains now (or as dedicated linesiders, as they appear to prefer to be called!). No longer likes cartoons (will persevere Thomas and Roary the Racing car but that really is the limit)

He has built an AMAZING brio rail track. I mean... amazing... Two bridges, one tunnel, two tracks, which interchange... ... I have 3 degrees, and I would struggle to build this in the time he built it...

But, before everyone thinks 'PFB claimming G&T', I have some real concerns about his speech and, to a lesser extent, the way he socalises with other children his age.

He has some 'friends' - 2 or 3 kids he gets on with and he loves his sister (10 months old). But most kids, he'd really rather not bother with and, god forbid, any of these kids TOUCH his trainset .... I'm talking MAJOR MELTDOWN... I'm not talking about a pretty standard 2YO tantrum.

LAst time a little one wrecked his train set, he went mental, locked himself in the playroom and, when he came out (less than 10 minutes), the train set was built again (not the same set, but fully working so the trains could go around.

I'm just at a loss about this one.

He either LOVES or HATES things.

he loves being outdoors and exploring and just recently, the mother of another similar aged child asked me whether I thought DS was a bit... 'different'...

Just need some advice / thoughts please.

Can't say much about the train thing but dd similar age and I would say she is still at playing alongside stage and would not take kindly to anyone doing stuff to favourite toys. As for speech that's a massively varied thing- if you ignore your friends comments are you worried? All the things you say about ds don't sound so out of the way so I wouldn't make any judgement from your op.

Sorry misread post and thought it said speech- not socializing. Also if he likes doing other stuff like outdoor play it's not as if trains are his only thing.

Poppy - I have concerns about his speech (he doesn't speak. he communicates perfectly well. Can't fault that... but speak.. no...) and his socalisation (though he's a product of me and his father so not sure that's his fault ... Neither of us a huge 'people' people, IYSWIM)

Yes, he likes other things other than trains,,, he loves being outdoors and exploring (but will exhibit certain 'train' characteristics - such as walking backwards down a 'track' rather than turn around and walk back down forward.. I've gotten around this by taking him on circular tracks but he's not great at turning around on a walk.. he'd prefer to walk backwards... {I#m sure you can imagine how slow that is!!)

So, no... I don't have a particular concern, but overall it does bother me a bit. He seems to have masses more concentration in certain way but in other ways, he seems quite a late developer. But, overall, he seems to get bored with childs things and prefer adult stuff... which I think makes me worry about how he'll get on at school

He currently doesn't go to nursery at all. I did try him at a nursery, but he simply hated it. With a passion!!!

thanks for replying

Some kids are just different. A friend of mine spent the toddlerhood of her ES worrying he was on the spectrum. He didn't talk. It was his way or no way. He wouldn't toilet train, his eating was faddy, he didn't socialist with other kids, nursery was hell - he hated it and she felt lime the worst mother and excluded as he never got invited to parties.

At one of her lowest ebbs she'd read a book about an autistic child whom was obsessed with Thomas ( apparently some connect to the facial expressions on the trains). And she threw his beloved trains into the garage because she couldn't cope with her worries.

Other parents made judgements on this kid.

He's 6 nearly 7 now. He is not your average kid but he's doing good. He can play his mother like a fiddle - he plays on her anxiety. He's very smart. He is at school and does brilliant when he wants to.

He has friends and interests. Still loves his trains but he has expanded to other things.

My friend says she knows he is not your average kid. But that doesn't make him wrong.

She doesn't know if to get him 'labelled' as a syndrome. She says she's leaving it for now as he's doing fine.

Sorry - waffling. Just want you to know there's plenty of others in similiar situations and spent sleepless nights worrying. And its not all bleak.

But at this young age things change so quickly in them. If you feel something is 'wrong' I think I'd make a diary.

Lol at walk backwards thing as dd keen on that (wi also walk ok but If holding my hand.)

speech thing is variable- does he say nothing or just odd words? Have a friend with boy and girl twins of same age whilst girl chatters away boy is all about signs/ gestures so not being verbal not uncommon( I know my postnatAl group will vouch for the variation).

And nursery thing no big deal re nursery as have 2 friends who didn't put their boys in til much older as weren't ready and they are fine now ( one also similarly train daft). He is very young - my nanny who is from hungary has a real horror of how young kids start nursery here .
As for socialising 1 I don't think they are really aware of much apart from themselves as this age 2. Whatever your views of you and dh your ds is his own person and it's way too young to think anything of his sociAl tendencies ESP if his only real contAct is R play group or similar .

you know we are quite friendly on June 08 postnatal and I think might help you to unburden there too aa I know lots of them have shared some or your concerns.

He speaks enough to make himself understood - does that make sense? I mean, he CAN talk. I once caught him singing 'wheels on the bus' when he thought noone was listening but he won't repeat words (even those I know he can say) and won't answer questions...

Even to the point of 'Can you say 'MAma'? and He'll be half way through.... MA.... then NOOOOOO' and that's it. Answer to everyything for the next 5 minutes will be NO,

He is very self aware - will walk along a beam unaided, can do forward (and backward) rolls unaided , can climb up and down steps, can undo his car seat xmillion

he is a very loving, caring little boy. He loves his sister, is affectionate (very) to me, as well as to his dad and step sisters (who he doesn't see so often...)

Poppy thankyou... I am actually part of the MAy 08 PN group and have told them about this link (though it being a BH, I think most of them have better things to be doing!!)

Thankyou. Your comments ahve been so kind and helpful.

His half sisters

Not step sisters.

HM DS2 is obsessed with soft toys, DS 1 really had no interest. DS2 speaks loads while DS1 at this age still did lots of babbling ( can't shut him up now).

They are all different and I think the train obsession is quite common. He's too young to share IMO and they are his pride and joy so meltdow. Is to be expected.

Give him another year and he'll be doing something else you think .

Thanks WW.. that's appreciated.

I've been thinking about this and I suppose the thing that bothers me is that Haribo will shut himself away (in what appears to be a tantrum) but will then act very logically / systematically to 'fix' his problem.. like when he locked himself in his playroom. He didn't trash the place (and it never occued to me that he would) but he carefully and accurately reconstructed a track (not the same one, as I say, but one that he could have the trains going around on) I mean, is that normal? It doesn't seem to be from his 'friends' (similar aged boys he knows! ) SOmetimes, he sees them coming, and he just looks frustrated - like he would prefer they weren't there (I think he gets this from his father