DS (17 mo) started biting - any tips?

[BirdyBedtime]

Over the past few days DS (17mo) has started biting us. He has bit DH on the finger and me on the shoulder and yesterday bit DD so hard on the arm that she has a full set of teeth marks and a huge bruise. DD never did this so not sure how to deal with it. DS is not yet able to understand 'No' as when we say this at other times he just laughs. I think he is teething again and have been trying to give him things he can chew, but I just would appreciate some tips as to how to deal with this. Yesterday we said 'no DS that is not nice you don't bite people' and put him in his cot for a few minutes.

Hi Birdybedtime

I am a mum of four children and also childminding five. I have learnt a lot over the years but not everything there is to learn.

One of my mindees WAS a bitter. (from what I can remember around the same age as DS) My own kids never did this. I was bitten, other children were bitten and also bitting themselves. It was a tricky situation as she was someone elses child. To cut a long story short. I had to get the support of the parents. They spoke to her adding to the support I needed. I was firmer as it was happening while I was childminding. I had to give her time out away from everyone else. I had to use a firm voice. I made a fuss over the one who was bitten.

You mentioned that DS is not able to understand NO. Children understand a lot more than we think. Some children test the waters by doing things they should not. Waiting to see what you will do.... (laughing)

Its not nice to be bitten. You need to nip it in the bud before DS starts biting other peoples children. Thats when it becomes harder. The earlier you start the better.

Your DS is very young still but let DS know thats not nice! No bitting !

You are not the only one who is experiencing this, its important that you know that you are not the only one... Its how you deal with it. Some parents are firmer than some.

Sorry its so long. Has DS got a teething ring? or do you use teething gel? Is DS biting due to being angry or is it due to teething?

I was dealing with bitting due to not getting own way. There is a differnece.

If you need to remove DS for time out then do it. Some may disagree but its not nice being bitten.

Be firm, be consistant as its only a phase which will pass... All the best

The advice I was given was a firm NO, then remove all attention (i.e. put child down, turn your back, walk away). Make lots of fuss of the one who was bitten but studiously ignore the biter, who will evetually cotton on that such behaviour doesn't buy attention, which is generally what they are after.
The same approach works for similar undesirable behaviour (hitting, hair pulling etc.).
A lot of people make too much fuss of the perpetrator which just rewards them with lots of attention, so they repeat!
Have you read "Toddler Taming" by Christopher Green? My bible when I had toddlers.

I agree with firm, consistent and patient is really important.

I would say a strong "No biting!" in a low controlled firm voice. The put him down, turn your back and refuse to give him any attention for a minute or so. Lavish attention on the victim if it is not you.

If you react this way consistently he will get the message. What you say ensures he knows what he has done wrong and the lack of attention in the punishment. Once that's over let it go and move on until the next time he does it.

Don't worry about him laughing - just ignore it and carry on.

Thanks for the quick responses (particulary MUM2) - the advice was what I thought it might be but good to have the reassurance. I want to nip it in the bud as I definitely don't want him to do it at nursery - I'd be mortified even though I know it does happen and DD has come home once or twice in the past with reports of being bitten. I think it is just testing behaviour or teething as it wasn't in anger (at least to me and DH as there was nothing to cause it - we weren't in the room when he did it to DD and she said she was trying to give him a cuddle which can often lead to tears from DS as she squashes him!). Will also try to make sure his teething rings are easily accessible. I gave up on teething gel a long time ago due to sore fingers!!

This is spooky, i just came onto this topic as i've just about had it with my ds. He will be 2 in a couple of weeks and has finished teething. He used to bite a lot, especially when he was teething, but not so much now. Unfortunately he has now progressed to nipping and hitting (and still sometimes biting when in a temper tantrum). His poor sister gets the brunt of it and we've tried everything. We've tried firm 'No', removing him from the room and all company for a couple of minutes. Nothing has worked so far. The thing is, apparently he doesn't do it at nursery, so confused. He knows he is doing wrong, as the minute he hits / nips / bites, he immediately looks at myself or DH with a guilty look on his face. At my wits end...seems like terrible twos started about 6 months early!

Hey constantlytired - sorry to hear you're having the same problems. We've had a few nipping incidents too but for some reason these haven't bothered me as much as the biting. My only suggestion for you would be that if your DS isn't doing it at nursery it is a testing the boundary thing with mum and dad and your response will hopefully begin to kick in soon. I do wonder if terrible twos actually start much earlier in boys. DD didn't do any of these things and we joke that DS is our payback for boasting about how good she was . I'm hoping firmness now will definitely pay off in the long run - not the least because poor DD was in real pain yesterday and DH has dressed her in a long sleeved top today to cover the mark as it looks so awful.

Al1son you are speaking my lanugage. You give very wise advice.

Yes be firm consistent and patient>

Both my children did this at this age. DS has just grown out of it in the last few months. I second ehat everyone else says about saying 'no biting' and removing attention. It worked for both of mine.

Thanks BirdyBedtime, i totally agree with you about terrible twos starting earlier in boys. My DD is about 5 now, and we never had any issues with regards to biting, nipping, etc. We too have had to put a plaster on DD's arm last week, as DS bit her (in painful area, close to underarm)...fingers crossed this doesn't last much longer, DD is already asking for DS to be put in a cage

We do have a 'cage' in the form of a travel cot in the kitchen that we use to put DS in as he can be incredibly clingy eg when trying to cook. We have also used it for incidents like described. Otherwise he just attaches to our legs and screams. If it's being used for safety etc he has lots of toys in but if he's going in because of doing something wrong the toys are all removed.

Thats a good idea re cot with and without toys.

Parenting is an amazing responsibility. Its easy to think boys are naughtier but they are just more phyical and play rough at times. I have three boys and one girl.

BirdyBedtime readying your comment today makes me know for sure you are doing just fine.....