How do I / should I tell off a 13 mo

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She bit me really hard when I was holding her. I said, quite sharply, you don't bite mummy and shifted my hold. She gave me a big grin and bit me again. So I said it again and put her down and went away a few feet. She just came straight back and climbed up me. I'm not getting through to her that I'm cross with her at all. I don't really want to upset her but is there a way to get it through to her that this is wrong or is she just too young to understand?

You don't. You distract.

Or let them know in calm voice that it's not acceptable - no and don't do that cos it hurts/ dangerous etc then move on. They are too young to know but I think do need to start being consistent on stuf even if it's a long road.

But I can't distract in advance iyswim. I don't know she's about to bite when I'm carrying her.

I'd just say no and put her down immediately, and go an do something else. It doesn't matter that she came straight back over to you and doesn't understand that you're cross - she's too little to understand her effect on other people's emotions.

Just be consistent every time - say no and put her down. She'll realise eventually that biting ends up with her being on the floor! Just don't expect too much of her yet.

No not in advance, after it happens. Because as you've found, the very fact that you react in an out of the ordinary way means she does it again. It's that simple in her head. She does something, you behave very oddly indeed, let's see if we can do it again and make mummy's voice go all shrieky, what larks.

You can and should consistently say 'no biting', you can put her down, show her that it's not something that you are encouraging but she genuinely doesn't understand sensations she can't feel. She doesn't understand that you feel hurt. Or cross. Or sad. She just sees an interesting reaction. She will understand all of this later.

So you say no and then follow up with an 'ooh look a bird in the garden, isn't it lovely?' and move on. It's very hard not to react with emotion or surprise (I was bitten by dd while she was bfing at the same age, honestly not screeching was v difficult as she drew blood).

Imagine what you'd do if she was picking things up off the floor to investigate them and came across a dropped fork that she proceeded to pick up and jab at her leg. You'd just take it away and move on with something else. It's curiosity. Sometimes it's teething too. The urge to bite is v strong when your mouth is sore.

My DD does this, and I have been really consistent in saying 'no biting' and putting her down- however, when my mum was round, DD bit her and my mum pretended to cry, and sat there 'sobbing'. DD looked completely mortified, and tried to cuddle her! It was hilarious.

The next time she bit one of us, we tried the fake sobbing thing. This happened about 4 or 5 times.

She hasn't bitten anyone since...

Thanks showofhands - see what you mean now. She has learnt about not biting while bfing at least - after one night when she and I were both in tears and dh tried to rescue us and fell out of bed