8 month old moving around cot

[KristianMHR]

Hi all,

We have an 8 month old son who is just about crawling and has suddenly started moving around his cot in his sleep.

He has been a fantastic sleeper from day one and we've had very little trouble with him at nights which may be a large part of why this is driving us so mad, but recently he's started moving around his cot and ending up either face down with his face pressed against the bars at the side or right at the top of the cot with his head pressed against the headboard. Both are waking him up and for some reason it always seems to be around 3am.

I've tried beating him to it and making sure he doesn't wake up, but if I move him in his sleep it just wakes him up and he starts crying.

He's a cryer by the way...

3:20 this morning I could hear him grunting, so I went through and sure enough there he is, on his side with his face pressed against the bars at the side of the cot starting to cry, so I picked him up and got him back to sleep but as soon as I put him down he wakes up again and starts crying immediately. After another go, he did the same thing, so I just put him down and planned on leaving him for 10mins then go back.

After his full-on screaming for 10mins, my wife went to try, and after 40mins, came back to bed and said she'd tried everything and even gave him some Calpol incase something was bothering him (we rarely give him any medications apart from gripe water).

It's 5:10 now and you'd think somebody was trying to murder him from the noise he's making.

From recent experience, this will go on until about 8:30 when he'll fall asleep for about 20 mins.

Has anyone else had this problem and solved it? Short of strapping him down to the bed, I can't think of anything to stop him moving around, but it's doing our heads in at the moment. He's been so well behaved at nights we feel like we're being punished for all the months of sleep we've had.

I'm a SAHD at the moment but my wife works and when I can't get him to go back down, it's not fair on her but if I take him downstairs or out of his room I've got no chance of getting him back to sleep coz the rest of the house is too bright with early sunrise at the moment.

Any ideas?

Cheers

Kristian

Did you feed him?

I have 8 1/2 month Dts and though one sleeps through, the other still wakes at 3-4.30 amish for a 20 min feed. He would definitely keep shouting if I didn't feed him.

Maybe he's hungry and that is what is waking him? When they're learning new things, I heard that they often wake and it's the first thing they do - hence the rampaging round the cot. If he's just learnt to crawl he'll be expending a lot of energy and might need extra feeds.

ps we also often take him into bed with us after the 4am feed which helps to soothe him. 8-10 months is a classic time for the start of separation anxiety so he may also be missing the comfort of you or his mum.

Is he in a sleeping bag? Sleeping bags are often the answer to night-time problems, even if a connection is not immdiarely apparent.

Could he be hungry? HOw long has he been sleeping through (from the tone f your post I assume he is sleeping through). I had 2 good sleepers and one non-sleeper. I found that when the good sleepers began to sleep through they needed enough food during the day. One short day wasn't a problem, but two or more and they wd wake at night for feeding.

If he is still feeding at night, cd he have wind?

Good point about the sleeping bag, PrettyCandles (I love your name, btw, makes me think of Christmas and roaring log fires)

One warm night we put our boys in just vests, no bags and I was woken about 6 times because of kicked off covers.

(It was my Xmas name many years ago, but I liked it zo much that I didn't change back! I like yours, too, makes me smile every time I read it.)

I'm so convinced by sleeping bags that during a heatwave summer when dd was about 6m, I put her to bed wearing only a nappy - and inside a pillowcase safety-pinned at her shoulders!

Yeah I guess we hadn't really considered feeding. It's been so long since he's needed a feed during the night. It got to the point where I would try and give him a bottle or my wife would try and feed him and he just fell asleep about 1oz in and he stopped waking up.

The nights where he doesn't encounter the boundaries of his cot, he sleeps through no problem, so we can't help but think it's simply because he's moving about. It just catches you by surprise when you're used to him sleeping through then he kicks off like he did this morning.

Little sod's snoring away on the sofa behind me now.

He sleeps in a sleep sack thing and has done since we stopped swaddling him after a few weeks. Seems a much better way to cover him than multiple blankets although we do add a blanket or two if it's particularly cold.

It could well be that he is encountering the bars at other times as well, but is more deeply asleep and is therefore not bothered by them. Or else as he gets more uncomfortable/distressed he wriggles more, so that by the time you get to him he is already squashed up by the bars and further distressed.

He is already in a bag - that box is ticked!

Is his room very dark? Babies can be disturbed by the dawn, and by the dawn chorus that preceeds it.

Does he have a dreamfeed when you go to bed?

Is he on solids? Could it be that he's not getting enough calories in the later part of the day?

We feed him when he goes to bed and that's it until (usually!) 6:00ish when he wakes up and we give him a bottle.

We've tried giving him a dreamfeed in the past, but again he generally had a little suck on the bottle but took nothing or just woke up and went berserk.

We're still weaning him but yeah he's pretty much on solids a lot of the time now. Apart from lunch, he generally has some of whatever we're eating which is usually more calorific than we'd prefer but healthy and home cooked all the same.

As for the room, I fitted a black out blind and he has curtains on top of that too, but there's still a little light gets past the edges of the blind even though the blind is very snug in the window cavity. As for the dawn chorus, while the double glazing the previous owner had fitted isn't the best, it's still ok for keeping noise out so I can't think noise is a problem. We live in the country too so there's little to no traffic noise outside his window.

It could be the light like. I had thought about getting the curtains lined to try and block out more light.

The thing about his moving about is he was perfectly capable of rolling from back to front and back again for a while, but now he just rolls from back to front and either spins around in a circle or tries to crawl until he gets frustrated and starts crying to be sat back or picked up. It's kind of the same when he's in the cot, coz he'll roll onto his front and get stuck against the side but won't roll back onto his back even though he knows how to do it.

Yup - babies are like that. You'll think you've cracked something (like sleeping through) and then they change again! Try milk and a cuddle and see if that does the trick.

It's developmental. He's very, very frustrated. And I'm sure you've seen that nauseating advert where it says they practice their new skills in their sleep. Well they do. And when they do, they're frustrated by their limitations and also while these big developmental leaps happen, their ability to self settle switches off. You'll find it happening again at around 12 months when he learns to walk. His brain will scream 'up up up' at him and you will find him standing in his cot several times a night, probably upset and unable to lie down and sleep.

It's v common and normal. His brain is busy with trying to master something huge, the control of his own body. He can't sleep, he can't manage himself in the way he wants.

It'll pass and relatively quickly. All you can do is find ways to make it easier. Some good suggestions on here. Guide him through it, reassure him and do what you need to to help him sleep. He won't learn bad habits.

Also, he will need more calories when making these big physical and intellectual leaps so offer some milk to him. He may need a night feed where he didn't before.

I think you've pretty much got it covered, so I'd mostly agree with ShowofHands: it's about practicing new skills and frustration. But TBH I wd not advocate reintroducing a night feed - that will give him a reason to wake up and stay awake.

Personally, I wd try to stuff him full of calories in the evening with extra milk and foods like bananas. When he wakes at godforsaken-o'clock go in to him, brief, quiet and boring resettle, then leave the room.

Give him a chance to sort himself out. He may cry. Listen to the cry: is he getting upset? If so, go back in and repeT the same boring settling. If he is not getting upset, just haveing an outraged or disgruntled whimper then leave him be. Whatever you do, you don't need to let him cry fir longer and longer intervals as in CC. You choose the interval that seems right. The crucial points are that you remain boring Nd that you listen to him to ensure he has the chance to sort himself out.

Aye if the same happens tonight we'll try and give him a bottle and see if that settles him.

Like I say, he's a crier so he's never been able to self settle. He'll just cry and cry for hours if we let him. We tried the controlled crying thing once where we went in ever 10 mins and he just kept going until he was drenched and we couldn't let him go any longer. Just not for us. He's too stubborn.

We'll see how we get on over next couple of nights.

Thanks for your help.

What do you mean by "he's a crier"? I assumed you were saying that he doesn't hold back when he lets you know that he wants something!

How do you settle him at night and for naps?

Oh, and when I said you decide the interval I meant it -you can go back at 30sec intervals even. There is no need to leave the LO in distress for long periods.

I don't like cc anyway, but an 8 month old is far too young. And as you've discovered, it didn't work.

The thing is, these developmental spurts mean they physically can't switch off. It is v difficult for them and as you are seeing, it upsets them. I wouldn't be inclined to leave them to try and sort it out themselves. They can't. It's exhausting and frustrating for everybody but they need help. It will pass.

And a night feed when they're using up some extraordinary number of calories can help enormously. If you stuff them full in an evening over their requirements then you're overriding their natural hunger pangs, possibly giving a tummy ache, not allowing them to self regulate or provide them with the extra energy they need. If you were doing circles of the bed and rolling around all night, you'd want food/a drink too or you'll be exhausted and extra cross.

I don't by any mean suggest you run in at the first whimper, but be mindful of the fact that he's frustrated and wants to sleep but can't remember how or stop the restless energy and desire to move around.

Just that he cries over absolutely everything and anything. Compared to the other babies we are associated with who will happily sit and play by themselves for short periods, if you so much as turn your back on him he just starts crying.

He's not so bad now during the days, it's just the way he's always been. Like he's been clingy from day 1.

I'm sure the little monkey waved at me for the first time just before though. My in-laws are on holiday in France and we got a post card yesterday which I only just found this morning and we were carrying on and I said Bonjour to him and waved and he put his hand up and I'm sure even moved it side to side a bit. Always makes up for the fraught moments when they do little things like that.

We were never keen on the idea of CC, but we were told by somebody that it is the only way to get them to learn to self settle, but he definitely wasn't in the mood for learning that day, so we just gave up on it coz it wasn't pleasant for him or us. We'd rather put up with the clingyness than even entertain the idea that we've left him or make him think we've left him.

Sling.

My first was a fairly easy baby who settled himself, slept through, and was content alone. I didn't know what the fuss was about! (I still got PND, though.). With the great wisdom of hindsight I now know that it was a combnation of me accidentally doing the 'right' things, and his personality.

Dc2 was attached at the hip until she could walk. Literally - I carried her constantly.

Dc3 was attached at the hip until he went to nursery at 3. I had a playpen in the kitchen until then, too. It was the only way we could cope.

Different children, different personalities.

If he's clingy and needs you, then fulfil his need and hold him. He may be much happier in general if he gets his fill of close contact through the day. When you put him down, return to him before he gets upset.

Ha, he's quicker than that. If he so much as senses that you're trying to put him down he kicks off.

Don't get me wrong, it's not too much of a problem. But even if I stick him in his high chair in the kitchen and give him a load of stuff to play with, as soon as you turn your back to do dishes etc, it starts. Lol.

It's not constant either. He's currently sitting in his play ring playing with an empty milk bottle. He's got his back turned to me and he's no bother. Actually it might be coz the F1 is on. He sat silently through the MotoGP this morning too. Seems to like the sound of engines. Good lad!

Hi there,

Just another quick suggestion about the sleeping bag (it was recommended to me when my DD started moving around the cot...), if you can get one long enough, try putting your DS at the foot of the cot and securing the bottom of the sleeping bag, under the mattress. Makes it less easy for them to move around...

Just a thought! Hope you sort it.

Good 'un! I'm gonna try that now. I'll go and tuck him in.

Thanks