My DD and her dolly.....

[fatheadsgirl]

Hello all, I'm a newbie!

My DD is 3 and a bit of a terror. My MIL has noticed recently the way she is treating he dolly. She screams at this doll for being rude and not saying sorry and then proceeds to hit it in the face "you make me smack you now say sorry!!" she screams. Then she finally throws this doll against the wall and puts it to bed whilst shouting "think about it" and slamming the door!

This has got me really worried. A friend of mine's DD goes to a therapist who monitors the way she treats her dolls and takes this as the way her parents treat her. I have never done anything like that to my DD and am a bit worried about where this attitude is coming from and if when people see it are they going to think that that's how I treat my DD??

Honestly even though it is just a dolly is quite disturbing, or am just being a silly billy??

They normally do copy what they have seen but I've never smacked my children's heads against the wall but DD does this too.

Could she have seen this on TV or elsewhere?

I don't think so, unless they're showing it on cBeebies....

She does go to Nursery once a week but the staff there haven't said anything so I can only assume she's not doing it there.

Maybe other children are doing it at Nursery and that is where she has seen it.

She could have picked it up from another child at nursery, I guess?

My DD is pretty harsh on her dolls/ animals but nothing on that scale. I think I would be tempted to intervene in Dolly's defence and try to talk to DD about what Dolly has done and what an appropriate reaction might be.

My DD1 once picked up her doll, put her on a chair put a cushions over her face and shouted "Go to sleep" at her very crossly. I was mortified because we were with a friend of mine who is a social worker! She didn't go to any childcare or ever really leave my side so I know she hadn't experienced it first hand or seen another child doing it.

My friend didn't bat an eyelid and just put it down to her imagination.

I wouldn't worry too much about it unless she shows any other signs which worry you.

It might be a good idea to intervene on the dolls behalf, as suggested, and question the treatment just to register with her that this treatment isn't really appropriate. Obviously listen very carefully to her response.

If this is the only concern you have then I'd put it down to a good imagination and let it go.

Children have natural violent instincts, sometimes. They are not necessarily copying a behaviour, but just experimenting with their emotions, or their fears.

My DD sometimes says and does things which seem quite aggressive but when i actually think about what she is doing it might be something I or DP have said but not in the same way. She is using it in a different tone and context which makes it sound far worse. I agree that it is just experimenting and testing out other peoples reations to thing they say and do.

Trust me, I used to do this without having seen any TV/real life stuff.

Though mine was much worse, I had full orphanages (admittedly Annie-influenced) and prison camps at 4!

I'm much nicer now

No idea op but my ds says things like that too... doesn't do the smacking but sonstantly shouts at his bear and screams at him to shut up, slams the door on him and tells him to stop being so naughty etc whilst snarling through his teeth. I very rarely shout at my ds and I must admit I do worry where he gets the anger from. Other than my friend's little boy who occassionally talks to his mother that way, he really hasn't ever seen anything like it. Could he really have picked it all up from the one time he saw my friend's ds doing that???

as there is a possibility that she may have seen this behaviour at nursery try and ask her to tell you where she saw it but yes try and intervene on dolly's behalf. my grandson took great delight in squashing small insects thank goodness he's stopped it now and loves everything beyond reason but I did call him jeffrey for a while!!!!!!