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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

15 month hitting.

8 replies

bumpsnowjustplump · 28/05/2010 09:20

Hello all just need a little help. My ds is 15 months and is hitting alot, he does it all the time not just when he is annoyed. When he does it we say no loudly an put him down (if he is in our arms) and ignore him for a minute.

Sometimes you can tell he has done it in frustration (when dd has snatched something from him) but other times he will just walk up to me and hit me and laugh..

has anyone else got any ideas of how to discourage this and to deal with it? Last Sunday it got so bad that dp put him to bed an hour early as we were all out of ideas..

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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posieparker · 28/05/2010 10:50

You put a 15mth old to bed early?

Lower your expectations dramatically. This is normal behaviour and a quiet firm 'No' should suffice, he's far far too young to not find the hitting and consequence a very fun thing and too young to be expected to do as he's told.

He's a baby.

This will be part of his behaviour for a long long time, get used to it and don't think he's naughty.

Original poster

bumpsnowjustplump · 28/05/2010 10:57

I know I hated the fact that dp put him to bed early but he thought that he must be tired and that is why he was hitting so much. I didn't question it infront of dd (who is 3 ) as we have agreed not to question each other in front of the children but have said I dont want it to happen again.

I know that he is not being naughty as you say he is too young but he seems to think it is a game. We say no and he laughs and does it again and will continue to do it.

He has cut dd's lip today as he hit her with a toy in his hand. Thing is DD has never hit, but she has now started doing it to him.

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posieparker · 28/05/2010 11:07

It's a boy thing, really. I have three bys and one girl. ds1 didn't really hit, ds2 was over two but he would find the smallest child and hit them repeatedly on the top of their heads...this lasted three months and we would spend half an hour at a playgroup, until I had to leave. I always said no, taught a stroke for sorry and would prevent it happening again b y never leaving him out of sight.

ds3, hits a lot, has tried to bite, he always gets a sharp 'No' but still does it. I choose to believe that if you say 'No' often enough one day it works!

Original poster

bumpsnowjustplump · 28/05/2010 11:15

Thank you posie at least I know I am approaching it right by just saying no.

I hadn't thought of teaching him to stroke for sorry I will do that from now on that is a really good idea.

OP posts:

RunningOutOfIdeas · 28/05/2010 11:25

DDs nursery tackle this by talking about 'gentle hands'. So if a child hits, they are told 'we don't hit our friends' then asked to sit down and show their gentle hands (they are taught to gently stroke a staff member's hand). I thinking being asked to sit down helps to to take the excitement out of the situation. I also think that the key to dealing with this kind of behaviour is to agree a consistent approach, and then stick to it.

My DD went through a brief hitting phase. Now she tries to push me over!

LadyBee · 29/05/2010 22:18

Just want to reassure that it does pass with consistent reinforcement of 'no hitting' every time you see it. My DS used to only hit me, and I found it very difficult to cope with but we just took hold of his hand, said sternly 'we don't hit' and if possible put him down from me, or walked away from him. I though this was never going to end but it did - I don't even know when, but he's 2 now and never hits. (No guarantees this will continue, but it's good enough for now).

ellensmelons · 30/05/2010 07:00

DS 19mo hits a lot out of frustration. We have put up the travel cot in the lounge and put him in there if he hits. He used to bite too, but that has stopped since we used time out. We also say 'gentle' and can now stroke with his hands in a saying sorry kind of way.

It is getting better. He's worse when tired or hungry. Then again, some days are better than others. Yesterday was a bit of a trauma, hence the search on here for thread!

Also, I worry that we used controlled crying too early with him and his cortisol levels have already had an effect on his behaviour. Someone tell me this is daft please!

SilveryMoon · 30/05/2010 07:06

Hi bumps We're in that stage with L too.
Little monkey, but he's had a good teacher in ds1
I'm just saying "No hitting" in a firm voice and ds1 also tells him no hitting.
Another couple of months and it will be the naughty corner for him too!
My issue is because ds1 is also so young, I have to show him that it's the same rules for everyone, so although I am aware that ds2 is a baby and doesn't understand, I do tell him that if he hits again, he will sit in time-out (which is the sofa) and i then plonk him there for a bit.
Last week he was pushing ds1 and in the end, ds1 walked him to the naughty corner and told him to sit there. Was very funny.

Just carry on doing what you are doing xxx

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