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Behaviour/development

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5 yr old sooooo mean at the moment

1 reply

knackered76 · 25/05/2010 18:00

My not so DD is 5. She started school in January which happens to coincide with her downturn in behaviour. She is generally knackered after school and sets on her brother from almost the minute I pick her up, he's 3. As annoying at it is, I expect a certain level of animosity between them. What is really bugging me at the moment is her shocking attitude to other adults when I am around and the mean streak which seems to be rearing it's head a lot more often. She will antagonise her brother no end, deliberately trying to wind him up which also results in really winding me up. The last couple of times we have had friends over she was so bossy and unkind to them. Not letting them play with her things, telling them what to do all the time and that it was her house so they had to do what she said. We have just been to the park with quite a few others and she scratched a friends younger son on the neck. She was playing a game at the time but still, she drew blood and that's just not right. When my friend asked her to come and see what she had done she refused. I then collared her and made her apologise, which she did but in a real tantrum way. She has started answering me back, speaking to me in a rude way and I've noticed she does it to other adults as well. As you can probably tell by my disorganised rambling, I am at the end of my tether with her. It's such a horrible feeling not liking your own daughter but at the moment I really don't. How do I change her behaviour? We have a treasure box for the end of the day if she has managed a set task, such as not say unkind things, but that's not overly working. I am thinking of keeping her away from other children for a bit, not sure it will help but I have to do something. Any advice most welcome

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
losingtheplotthisweek · 25/05/2010 21:33

Oh knackered, its not a pleasant place to be when they're driving you round the bend is it?

My DS started school last September and it's only since Easter that he's returned to being his lovely little self again. My lovely little sis (who thankfully has two boys older than my kids and reassures me that 'it's all normal') reminded me regularly that;

  • school is exhausting and it's very hard to be kind when you're tired
  • that children run out of being good.and that the lucky teacher gets to see the good bits.
  • my DS would be jealous of his sisters who still spent all day with me (doing exciting, fun stuff obviously )

My advice to weather this storm is to praise every tiny little bit of good behaviour you see, and to ignore the bad where you can, if possible try to get other adults to do the same. Try to spend some time with your DD on her own to reassure that you still love her even though you're not with her all day, I found this as good for me as it was for my DS as it least I knew he was capable of being ok.

I hope this gets better for you, and I'm pretty sure it will do.There is no rule that you have to always like your child, just that you always have to love them.

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