OK so DS is a little bit dyspraxic - AIBU to think he will grow out of it?

[SolidGoldBrass]

I can see that there are a few little problems eg his handwriting is a real struggle, but some of the other things on the list seem to me more like normal variations of a human being. I am glad we're getting help and support and all that, but I also feel a little bit irritated by what seems an awful lot of box-ticking and bean counting and insistence on absolute conformity...

well, in adult life people almost never hand-write anyway...

the only time in adult life it affected dbro in a negative way was when threee Dublin pubs in a row refused him entry..(his walk is not normal) and he is pretty damned dyspraxic...you don't grow out of it, but it stops mattering.

DD seems to be having similar pbs, but a bit of practice is making it better...bit early to tell if it's really going to be a problem or not.

What is the box ticking for?

Is part of your help and support seeing a kinesiologist/brain gym person? The "crossover" exercises they can teach your DS could really help his dyspraxia.

See here for a bit more info on it, probably not the right area for you but I'm sure there will be someone in your area who can do it.

oooh braingym! Have you not read Bad Science! I think ds2 is dyspraxic for various reasons. His handwriting is very immature but he does well academically otherwise. My main concern with him is that he is very disorganised and that his teacher says he takes ages to get started on a piece of work, so I reckon he may need extra time in an exam situation.As we live in 11 plus land, I'm thinking of getting him assessed.

bollocks to Bad Science. Do you not know how many teachers and head teachers wrote in to tell the idiot goldacre how much it had helped children, and how he ridiculed them for it? Arse to him.

Thumbwitch thanks for the suggestion but braingym is wank, basically (I have read Bad Science ). We have had 2 sessions of occupational therapy and a list of exercise to do which will help, it;s just the general leaflet I was reading which has annoyed me, all this stuff about 'difficulty obeying rules' being a sign of a disability? Surely questioning rules is the sign of a healthy personality.

He may find things he finds difficult now easier later but he won't outgrow it as such, just learn coping strategies

I have 2 dyspraxic and am dyspraxic myself

Child 1 - it doesn't really affect her much, she is still clumsy but nothing is really noticable

Me and child 2 - we both really struggle with organisation and seeing things very black/white, child also can't hand write.

Child 2 really benefited from OT and physiotherapy and also gets 1-1 help at times at school and now at college. If you can get these things in place, then it is very beneficial

His loss then.

Depends SGB whether they have difficulty obeying rules because they have processed the info given and are questioning it or because they've been unable to process the info given and are confused as to what is required of them. If they don't 'get' it as my DD did then it's quite damaging to end up in repeated situations with people getting a bit uptight and not understanding why.

There's such a wide range of how much it can affect a child and impact on everyday life that I think it is good help is available. But from what I've seen with my DD, it does improve with age, however it's taken a lot of effort from all involved to get to this stage at 11.

SGB - struggling to follow rules, it isn't always a questioning of the rules - more that you can't understand them. Also the rules could be social rules and not just written ones

I'm not too bad but child 2 has a real difficulty with following some social rules (being quiet in a quiet place, laughing at inapropriate times etc) He has had to learn things in a way a non dyspraxic child doesn't

He cannot take critisism and has anger problems, he can see after the fact how he should have acted - as he has learnt what he is supposed to do, I think this is what your leaflet means

Agree with the processing. Teachers can give quite lengthy instructions at times - my ds struggles with this. (Am a teacher myself so hold my hands up as having done this as well.) Ds's teacher says he can go to get his book/homework/P.E kit etc and by the time he's at his bag he'll have forgotten what he went for. I think that Secondary is more of an issue as there is so much more to remember and organise.

Surely questioning rules is the sign of a healthy personality?

do we think he is very much Mummy's son?

although i think the illustration of that sort of not getting instructions - would be me taking half an hour explaining to Dbro how to put a wooden curtain rail up (you know, so the join of the two wood poles goes over the centre support...) with much wailing and gnashing of teeth...

as for the social aspect...he's had a gun pulled on him more times than you'd think would happen by accident..(not knowing when to shut his fool mouth...)..but also it think for kids Dyspraxia can be v. frustrating and isolating as other kids can't stand clumsiness, and really love those that are good at football/ games/ whatever. the not taking criticism is part of fear of ridicule possibly?

From what I understand of dyspraxia, it is the result of 'immature neurone development' - so I guess if the brain is plastic (at least until a certain age) there is the possibility he could 'grow out of it'.

I'm hoping so, DD is not dyspraxic but struggles with her co-ordination because of some subtle brain damage at birth. I strongly believe that with the right help and lots and lots of practice many difficulties can be overcome.

I quite agree with you SolidGoldBrass that the variation of 'normal' is so wide but once your child starts to be assessed it can be easy to lose sight of that!

My daughter is dyspraxic. Not just a little, though .

He won't 'grow out of it', but things can improve, especially with the right support and as the person learns mechanisms to cope and assist with their condition.

A friend's son is also quite dyspraxic. By the time he started secondary school, the only extra assistance he needed was a laptop.

My daughter has a lot of coordination issues and problems with sequencing, so we're already doing what we can to improve that - sports, lots and lots of whatever she likes, and OT and SALT for sequencing issues.

Lots of visual and hands on stuff for sequencing.

Her handwriting is dire. She's also dyslexic.

Oh, the joys!

But we're getting there and lemme tell ya, when you see a dyspraxic child get there, there's not much to top that kind of joy .

Have a look at this link, there is help out there to get them to reach their potential much quicker than they would without help

www.inpp.org.uk/

worked amazingly on dd3 and her problems, worth every penny!

It's a spectrum thing- some people with dyspraxia are a bit quirky and clumsy, others have very serious ongoing difficulties. And I absolutely agree that questioning rules can be no bad thing and a sign of a healthy personality.

I think he's very much on the low end of the spectrum - I have had no reports of inappropriate behaviour or misunderstanding instructions - he wont always do what I tell him to do but its not lack of understanding (I know this because he argues with me...). He is an advanced reader with a huge vocabulary and a retentive memory.

But as I said, his handwriting is something he is struggling with, he's a very messy eater and yes, he's one of those kids that always has his shirt untucked and various stains on him. Thing is, though, he's 5 and I don't think those things are really abnormal in a 5 year old.

Mind you, the more I read about it the more I realise that I am a bit dyspraxic myself (can't tell left from right, can't catch or aim very well) but again I am not entirely sure of the wisdom or necessity of labelling everyone which seems to be so much the thing these days.

agre zap - extra time in exams is a gift horse not to be checked for dentures.

SGB - I think the point you may be missing is that sometimes a label actually helps. DS2 is Dyspraxic - before the diagnosis, he was a bright, verbally able child who could put very little down on paper, fell over constantly, couldn't follow sequences of instructions etc etc. And his self-esteem fell, because he knew he had problems, and his behaviour deteriorated.

The diagnosis was bloody great - finally, I had a piece of paper to wave at him and say "look, these problems are not your fault".

He's Yr 7 now - he gets extra time in exams, a laptop at school, support and help along the way. That wouldn't have happened without the label.

Your DS might not need all this - I hope he doesn't - but don't rush to dismiss it.

Oh I'm not going to tell the school to fuck off with their labelling, don't worry. And I do see what you mean Hassled, thank you.

I suppose I'm just a bit sad and angry that my darling PFB has a problem IYSWIM.

Yes, it's a really hard thing to accept. No easy way round it - I struggled for a long time (DS3 has verbal Dyspraxia, DS2 motor Dyspraxia). But life goes on - it just becomes normal, you adapt, they adapt, you see improvements - it'll be OK .

I do agree with much of what you say, SGB, and am sorry you're feeling sad and angry. Very understandable when you're worried about your boy and how he is perceived. I think you're right that labelling is very much the thing, sometimes with good reason but not always. At 5 a lot of children find handwriting, neat eating and shirt tucking pretty difficult and some will need some extra help and tlc and some will be just fine left to their own devices to find their own solutions. Lots of people in my family are of the clumsy, messy, quirky, disorganised variety but it's never really bothered us. We're happy bumbling types with fairly high self-esteem. In zapostrophe's situation, I'd have thought "Are you so dim that you think appearances matter more than content, you utter fool?" rather than "Oh dear I am a crap and clumsy slattern." And for some reason I'm sure that you and your son are like my family in that respect and that he'll be just fine.

I apologize, I have not read the whole thread but Pindoras Box is a fabulous item for dyspraxic. We had and used it often at the school I worked at and took children out reguarly to do this. It helped them so much. Apparently it's been discontinued but you may still be able to get it (or school??) but it's a shame as it was fab. Costs about £100 though

Zapostrophe that is a lovely post.

Ds1 has very mild dyspraxia. So mild sometimes we are not sure if it is there or not. But has slight aversion to noise and chaos, excellent at spelling and reading but writing is messy.

It is quite funny to see how he avoids things (I want that jumper etc) that I am so glad I know why (because the zip is hard). I felt so much better at dealing with him, when I knew why. He is five too.

I did sometimes feel a bit cross, like another party missed, but it's fine really. It helps to talk about it on here I think as none of his friends or parents are aware of it. (I don't want their potential misunderstanding of what is very mild to further isolate him and most of all I want to avoid any self-consciousness on his part).