Socialisation - having other kids round to play (advice please)

[lucyd74]

Hi there

I am a full time working mum with a DD who is nearly 4 years old. I am quite a shy person an don't know a lot of other mums at school. We have virtually never had other kids over to play (apart from relatives)and my daughter has begun to ask. I don't even know where to start having other kids over though, when I don't really know the mums, also she is about to start school in Sept and none of the kids in pre-school are gonig to her primary. DD has a childminder and socialises a lot when she is with her. I feel like I am letting her down becuase I am not able to provide her with a social life at home mainly due to my own faults (e.g., having to work and being shy).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Is it ok for a 4 year old not to have friends to play?

I think as you are nearly into primary school and she socialises with her CM, I would leave it for now.

However, once she starts primary school, you will have to overcome your shyness. Its not hard. Just ask your dd who she likes and then approach their mother and say that your dd would like their child to come around and play. Suggest a time and then as it is reception tell the mother that she is welcome to stay for coffee. It does get easier and is good for both you and your dd.

Dd1 didn't start having play dates until reception year of school. They initiated it themselves, so there was no effort on my part other than saying "Yes" when they ran upto me asking can such and such come and play today.

But you are not depriving her. Once she is old enough she will start asking you herself and then you ask her to go and check with her friends mum.

Thank you for your helpful messages, they have reassured me a lot. Ihave to admit DD is a very confident little girl right now, so hopefully once she starts her new school it will all fit into place a bit.