7 years old DS said today he hates me and I a am like poo

[tulipe]

My 7 years old said today he hates me and I a am like poo,( anal stage...) for no particular reasons it seems, except I nasked him to go to bed.
I am putting a lot of effort into being nice to him and when I try to spend time with him it is often a bad experience. The other day we baked bread,(he loves baking), just the 2 of us, he rushed into it and before I could say something there was flour absolutely evrywhere in the kitchen...it was only the start and it seems that he was on is silliest behaviour, and I ended up shouting the whole time.
He does not enjoy boys game with me as DH is much better, so I wonder what I could do to improve our relationship.
he loves his dad to bits and seems to avoid me.

at least he is quite expressive

when i went on a parenting course they advised to spend a set amount of time each day or week doing just what the child wanted, eg letting them decide the activity and lead the play
don't criticise or correct them during this time but be led entirely by them (within safety limits of course)
setting aside regular time to do this can be very constructive and helps their self esteem

i found it harder than it sounds! but might be worth a go?

it sounds just like one of those silly things children say when they have to do things they don't want to do!

if you're worried that you end up shouting at him too much then why not have a think about other ways of dealing with it?

so, if he tends to be silly a lot then pre-empt him. eg: doing baking... warn him in advance that flour can spill, that he needs to be careful, ask him how he will do x,y or z in order to make less mess

if he does go into something and make a lot of mess then instead of shouting then say "well, ds, we're going to have to stop our baking now because we need to clean this up" an just get him to help

children DO get excitable, and they will spill stuff and make mess and generally not do things how you want them to. shouting doesn't help because it makes them feel bad about something that may have been an accident, and it doesn't get it cleared up or indeed make them liekly to help you clear it up!

so be matter of fact... you behaved like this and now this has happened. you need to help me fix it

oh and agree with coupleofkooks! i do this with ds1... it usually means playing lego star wars which i really, really hate doing! but he loves it

Well, don't worry, I am actually the worst mother on earth

I try to rationalise this by being proud that he is not afraid of confrontation, comfortable to express himself, etc etc