How can I help DS overcome his shyness?

[JoannaLewis]

Ds was a very clingy type of baby. He had colic, so we held him a lot! He then became terrified of strangers. Actually everyone excpet me and dh. He would never be held by others.

3 years on, he is still hiding behind my legs pulling my cardigan around his face when my mum or my freinds come round. He will then warm to them slowly, but not really going to them. If I go upstairs for a second while my mum is around, he's there behind me 30 seconds later. Holding my cardigan again. I really need some advice. Is this just how his nature is? Is there anything I can do to help him be a little more sociable?

Just let him be. He'll grow out of it some in a few years.

And if he doesn't? It isn't the end of the world to not be social.

I am 41 and hate being social. And, yes, I was (and still am) shy like your son. I have just learned to suppress it when absolutely necessary.

I agree with Lenin and Tee, he will grow out of it or learn to cope with it.

People expect a hell of a lot from small toddlers to interact and respond the way that adults do but they can't and just do not understand social situations or have the confidence to deal with them.

My family are always wanting to pick up my ds (2.9)which he just hates and wriggles or cries/ shouts to go back to mummy.

They ask him stupid questions that he just can not answer. I tend to have to answer certain questions for him and reassure him it's OK that he doesn't feel ready to talk to them yet. Like your ds he warms up after a while but he never wants to be left with them or be handled by them which is fine by me.

He is actually quite social if people leave him to it and don't force the initial contact, getting in his face and trying to pick him just annoys him. As far as I am concerned he is a human being and we all have our own personal space and only certain people should enter that space.

My firends who have young children are much less stressful to be around as they don't force ds to 'perform', they say hello to him and wait for him to tslk to them and involve them in a game or conversation which he is much much happier with.

I think it's fairly common. My friend's 4.5 yr old came to my house on ds' second birthday and was exactly how you describe, hiding behind his mum and wouldn't even make eye contact with any strangers that spoke to him... yet he is fine with me and people he knows. Don't worry, try not to push him. Above all, don't worry what people think and worry he is the only one like it because he isn't!

thank you for your advice ladies