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Is DD just badly behaved or could it be something more?

1 reply

muminthecity · 21/05/2010 22:15

DD is 4 years and 8 months. She is generally happy, very bright, chatty and sociable. However, she has a ferocious temper and can be very agressive, not to other children but to me, her pre-school teachers and my mum. She doesn't get physical, has never hit/kicked/bitten anyone but shouts and screams until she's blue in the face. She just will not accept being told no, despite the fact that I have always tried to be consistent, used time out, reward charts etc.

I really noticed how bad it is today. We spent the day in the park with friends and their children who are around the same age as DD. They had plenty to do, lots of fun and games, playground, fed the ducks etc. Despite all this, while the other children played happily, DD was constantly asking for things, an ice-cream (she'd already had one) anther go on the swings (she'd had her turn, it was the other chidren's turns) and more. The other children asked for things as well, but the difference is when they were told no they accepted it and went off to play. When DD was told no she shouted, screamed and argued. I did my best to ignore it and I didn't give in but it was draining.

I don't know how relevant this is but DD's father (who she has no contact with) was diagnosed with ADHD and EBD as a child and still has difficulty controlling his behaviour.

Is it possible that DD could have inherited either of these conditions? Or is she just badly behaved? I realise I may be reading too much into it because I'm aware of her father's problems but either way, what can I do about it? Please help!

OP posts:
Allyinoz · 22/05/2010 08:53

Trust your instincts and try to get some outside professional opinions, if you are wrong then nothing is lost and they will prob help with strategies.

Every child has a different temperament and so children can be very different, but not have a syndrome etc. Your child could also pick up on your anxiety and exploit it for her gain (another ice cream).

Do you give her expectations, this is the last (ice cream, swing, etc) or give her lead time, in 5 mins we will leave the park, etc. Tell her you don't like the behaviour give her an alternative. If she can distinguish between social rules with other kids and restrain herself she can obviously do it. My opinion is she needs extra help to manage her emotions.

Good luck.

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