16mth is becoming increasing distressed when I leave her...even with Dad

[suestar35]

Hello...can anyone help please??

Becoming a bit desperate. DD2 is almost 16 mths and has been with me since birth...I didn't go back to work this time. She has always been very clingy to me and more so when she had a spell in hospital in Feb of this year.

She started nursery a couple of morns a week at start of May. Dropping her off is horrible as she practically has to be prised from me and is screaming..but does settle after 5/10 mins and is enjoying it.

However more worrying now is when I leave the room and she is with Dad she starts to scream and cry for me...she never used to be like this with him.

He is upset, I am exhausted as I hate to hear her crying on and on so end up carrying her around alot of the time and DD1 who is 3 yrs doesn't get full attention from me...so I feel extra guilt as well

Can anyone shed any light on this...I thought separation anxiety was supposed to be gone by now? or perhaps lessening?

Thanks.

Although my DD is a little younger (11 months) we went through the same thing when I started back at work. I started by leaving her with my mom who she knows very well and she still got upset. She would do the same when I walked out the room. However, after about 4 weeks it started to settle down and she's almost over it all now.

Important things are to tell her you are going, never sneak off. If I were just going to the bathroom I would tell her "Mommy just go wee wee" and sometimes keep talking to her from the other room so she knows I've not dissappeared. If she gets too upset come back to the room and let her know you are still there, but if possible don't give in and carry her around. Maybe give her a cuddle and reassure her everything is fine and try to distract her with something else. It may not work every time or this method may take a while, but eventually you should hopefully notice an improvement.