Breastfeeding advice needed pleeeeeeease

[Beachbreak]

I am a first time mum with a 5 wk old boy. He was in I I am a first time mum to a 5am old boy. He was in special care for 2 wks and I expressed to keep my milk. I really wanted to give him the best start I can and Since bringing him home I am trying to breastfeed but it is such a struggle. I have seen a breastfeeding counsellor and been to a local support group but I am still finding it impossble to latch him on without pain. I used nipple sheilds for a while and my nipples r no longer cracked or bleeding but they r bright pink and look as raw as they feel. I find it hard latching him on with the sheilds, he knocks it off with his hands and I just can't get them in his mouth properly. Its easier to latch him on without the sheilds but it hurts so much. The bf counsellor showed me how to do it right but I just can't seem to get it right. I'm dreading his feeds and am exhausted from night times spent latching him on and having to take him off over and over again with me sobbing with pain and frustration and him wailing with hunger. I'm at the end of my tether and although I want to breast feed him I just feel like giving up. Then I feel guilty and a failure when I give him formula. Why can't I feed my son?

Beachbreak you have my sympathy! I remember the first few weeks with my first DD and it really was a case of bracing myself before a feed. Have you tried Kamilasan ointment? (dont think that is the correct spelling but its been a while since i needed it) You put it on your nips after a feed and it really does help, its fantastic, I went through tubes of the stuff. You also dont need to wipe it off before the next BF. Also do you feed with baby lying on a pillow on your lap - it helps to bring his mouth to you, rather than you straining your back to get to him IYKWIM.I would say persevere as it is still early days, It will click. Good luck.

Your not doing anything wrong, i'm sure your doing great - do not feel like a failure. This is going to be no consilation and i'm sorry i don't have a magic wand for you because i can completely relate to your experiences but persistance is my only advice. I have a beautiful 8 week baby girl (first time mum) and breast feeding is now comfortable and enjoyable 90% of the time. Make sure your letting your niples breathe to heal and use the lanolin stuff to help relieve. Take the odd paracetamol if needed for the pain. If your baby will except a bottle as well as the breast, express a few feeds to give yourself a break (i solely expressed and fed via a bottle at night for a few weeks). Get some rest. Use the support of the breastfeeding cafes and buddies in your community and try and keep going, it does and will get better (and soon) Even if it doesn't feel like that right now - honestly. x

i sympathise with you. the kamilosan is good. also just giving your breasts some air as clothes can be painful as well. i remember the first few months being really difficult but the soreness goes eventually. if it's all a bit too much, doing 1/2 bf and ff is ok too! you are not a failure because you gave formula. look after yourself as well as because a stressed out mum is obviously not a happy mum and if formula works for you and your baby so be it.
we all have ideas about what it's like to have a baby and from experience all those idea's go out the window when it's for real! good luck.

You are doing so well against all the odds. Do keep going won't you.

Have you tried using a swaddling blanket while you feed to stop him knocking the breast shields off? It might feel a bit odd but shouldn't bother him too much. At least you'd have a chance to heal a bit more even if it's only for a couple of feeds a day.

I know it feels like this will go on forever but in terms of long term breastfeeding it is very early days. If you can get over this hurdle and establish good feeding you will be really glad you did it.

MAke sure you're still getting lots of rest so that what feeding he is doing is really efficient. If he ever just wants to suck for comfort try offering him your clean little finger with the nail cut short. It can be a pretty good substitute.

Hope this helps,

Good luck.

Quick reply as have to go out - Lansinoh cream v effective - apply to nipples after every feed and leave them to air dry as much as poss. 100% lanolin so fine for baby too.

If the bf counsellors are sure your latch is OK then the pain will go eventually - took about 8 weeks with DD.

Stick with it! You are doing a brilliant thing. One day you'll be sitting there feeding and realise it doesn't hurt and you can get on with enjoying it.

I found it hard to get started with BF with both my DS's. It is not a natural process for either Mum or baby IMO.

I used to bite into a muslin & breathe out as I counted to 10, then the pain would go. It turned out I had painful "let down" but that settled after a few weeks. If the pain lasted longer than about 10 seconds, DS was not latched on properly & I would have to start again.

I would say it took me 6 weeks to master BF DS1 and about 3 with DS2.

I read somewhere aobut peppermint tea being helpful. So with DS2 I would make a cup of peppermint tea & store it in a bottle in the fridge. Then I soaked cotton wool balls in it, put them in my bra (with breast pad so bra didnt get wet) and found it FANTASTIC. So soothing. (and plenty of lansinoh)

There is a Breast & bottle feeding section on Mumsnet here with some great BF counsellors & people that may be able to give you advice too.

There is also this website.

Sounds like you've done really well to perservere for five weeks.
If you have really pink nipples, has the breastfeeding counsellor considered thrush at all, often that goes along with poor attachment and continues to cause pain as the attachment gets better. You can check to see if there is thrush in your baby's mouth (looks like little white patches which don't come off) but if there isn't it doesn't mean you haven't got thrush and it might be worth seeing the GP. The BFN leaflet about thrush is worth a read www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/BfN_Thrush_leaflet_Feb_2009.pdf
Also has the breastfeeding counsellor had a look for tongue tie and checked your baby's mouth and the way they suck, sometimes it can be something other than attachment that is causing the pain. Might be worth asking them to do this.
Stick with it, it will get better.

I think it would be worth getting the counsellor over again just to check everything out, but you are doing very well. If your breasts are feeling hot it may be mastitis and I'd get the doc to check it out. I expressed for over two weeks as my ds wouldn't take to the breast because they had bottle fed in hosp and I remember being devasted then that once I did get him to take from the breast it was so painful. But it didn't last. In my case I had mastitis, but I think it was also just my breasts getting used to the feeding.

I'd definitely ask the counsellor to pop back to your house - then she can see how & where you sit with him, and the slightest movement they make can make all the difference.

Are you a member of the NCT? I was on the phone about 3 times a day to one of the counsellors and she kept offering small 'tweaks' which really helped - they have seen so many boobs and latches they know what they're talking about!

Stick with it, and like some other people have said - let youself air as much as possible. Just remember to cover up when the postman rings the doorbell....

yes try the swaddle to keep arms in place and the other trick told me by the breast feeding nurses was to have the baby under your arm, legs behind you, the face is then more in line with your nipple rather than baby twisting his head so to speak. worked for my two so good luck

I'd echo the recommendations for Kamilosan, definitely very soothing. I also used cabbage leaves in my bra when I had a touch of mastitis.

I know, it sounds weird, and yes, my DH did absolutely rip the piss out of me for it, but somehow, it had a definite cooling effect.

(and made for lovely soup later..joke)

Thanks mums, lots of ideas and supportive messages there. Will keep trying...

I found this book www.amazon.co.uk/What-Expect-When-Youre-Breastfeeding/dp/0091856744/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1 274373908&sr=1-4 very useful.

I see that is now out of print, and has some terrible reviews, but I found it full of common sense kindness and information. It also appears to me that most of the bad reviews are from 'professionals' whilst the good reviews are from mums. point taken I think.

I went to a bf support group when my DD was three weeks old and struggled to feel like I got it 'right' as soon as I went home. I found it difficult to remember what they had said.

I used to sit in front of the videos on this website, feeding DD, and it really helped me feel more comfident. Then I went back to the group a little while later and got more reassurance.

Hope it helps.

Definitely worth persisting! But I would try and do without the nipple shields, as you do need to get the latch sorted and they're obviously getting in the way. Lansinoh is excellent stuff, and take paracetemol for the pain. Unfortunately the best way to get through the pain is just to feed LOADS so that your nipples get used to it. Doing only a few feeds a day will just keep them on the brink of sore for longer. Once he starts putting on weight and growing you'll notice a difference too - my own personal theory is that bf-ing hurts at first because baby's mouth is so small!

Beachbreak - My DD was in SCBU for 6 weeks, and tube-fed for the duration with my EBM. I found latching on and BF really tough for the first few months of her coming home, but here I am, 8 months on, still BFing and loving it!

My tips:

Avoid nipple shields...prem bubs find them difficult to manage

Lansinoh is a godsend...slather it on!

Buy a Widgey cushion...BFing is so much easier with one!

Try a different position...as soon as I changed to the rugby ball position my DD latched on perfectly, and I haven't looked back since (my HV advised this after I'd been struggling for 5 weeks!)

Good luck! And remember, it will get easier and you can do it!

Complete sympathy! I dreaded feeding, felt like I was being slashed with glass, bleeding and blistered. Never thought I'd get through it. Anyway what helped me:-

Took pressure off by buying formula and having sterlised bottles ready - so that there was always an option
As I dreaded feeding, I kept putting off so that DD was frantic with hunger. Changed so that when she was started waking and giving feeding cues (smacking lips etc)I'd feed her then.
Realised that she had a shallow latch - but was letting her feed anyway and this was just compounding the problem - so if she latched and it wasn't right, I'd put my finger in her mouth and take her off (this was really hard coz at times her mouth was opening and closing v quickly like a wee goldfish!)
I expressed at bit at start if boob was too engorged so that it wasn't like she was latching onto a balloon.
Tucked her lower arm in so that it couldn't wave about.
Pressed gently on her chin so that her mouth was open as much as possible.
Plus all the usual - lanolin cream and exposing boobs to air as much as possible

She's now 15 weeks and it's great now.

good luck

Hiya, loads of good advice on here already! My daughter is now 2.5 weeks and I did have a period when one of my nipples was extremely blistered and sore. I changed position on that nipple to rugby hold just to take some of the pressure off and allow the nipple to heal whilst still feeding on that side.

I had the local breast feeding counsellor come round to my house to check my latch and she was able to give me a few pointers which I've found helped loads. If you have a small baby then the breasfeeding cushions can help however my 'wee one' is over 10 punds already so I don't use cushions as the counsellor thought part of the problem was that her head was too high on my breast anyway and advised bringing her up under the breast and it seems to be helping! She also advised making sure that her belly was facing my belly and that seems to have helped as she has less wind now.

I also use lots of Lansinoh cream after feeding. I did stop using it for a few days as I was getting no pain but started getting some pain in my nipples again so I've started reusing.

If your breasts are engorged then it does help to hand express some of it off so they can attach properly as this had also caused problems for me and resulted in some weight lose. Luckily she's now putting weight on again and seems to be thriving.

I'm all for breast feeding and I think you're doing great so far and you're definatly doing the right thing with asking for advice, however if you need to use formula for any reason don't worry! As long as you and you're baby are healthy and well that's the most important thing! Hope you get everything sorted!

I have a 5wk old daughter and I'm first time Mum. I was determined to breast feed and bought into the propaganda that if you're doing it 'right' it doesn't hurt... It does!!! Having something suck on your nipples for hours a day is bound to hurt! And bless her, my baby has a very determined suck.

However, I found that using BioFem Sore Nipple Cream applying it liberally regularly and surrounding my breasts with towels and lying bra-less and breast-pad less at night allowed air to my nipples and helped 'harden' them to the 'abuse'. I have also been lent an antique 'nursing' chair by my Mum - it had arm rests at exactly the right height for support, which helped with positioning. By about the 3rd week, it was becoming more comfortable and now find it generally pain free, except if very engorged or not quite positioned correctly.

Do check your positioning and find somewhere comfortable to sit. I too was in tears at times, especially in the middle of the night, but if you have everything to hand, ready to go, it does help you feel a bit more in control.

Keep going and good luck!

Hiya - just want to say that all the breasfeeding advice in the world won't help if you have a baby with a strong suck. Some babies have stronger sucks than others, and there ain't much you can do about it. My second DD is 6w old and like you I've had bleeding nips, the lot. I still have to bite my finger every time she latches on, even though as a second timer I "know what I'm doing". So please don't think it's you, or that you're doing anything wrong, or are a crap mum. You are doing a wonderful thing. If you do end up mixed feeding then don't feel guilty and don't let anyone else make you feel like a failure. Mixed feeding isn't for everyone but my humble opinion is that a bit of formula isn't the worst thing in the world if it means you BF for longer, or if it's all that stands between you and giving up. I know some folks say it dries up the milk supply but it didn't for me or for anyone else I know, FWIW. Breast feeding is REALLY hard, whatever anyone says. Sometimes it gets easier, certainly, and I hope it does for you. Best of luck - I feel your pain and you are not alone x

I'd def invest in some lansinoh cream. It is very soothing and you dont have to wash it off. It's expensive though but as a now mum you are entitled to get it on prescription for free.