Why has my affectionate 5 yr old turned into a violent, hateful monster?

[OrdinarySAHM]

He annoys his sister/friends on purpose by pushing/jumping on them. When I tell him off he physically attacks me - hitting, kicking, throwing things, pulling hair, shouting. When I give him a 'consequence' he tells me how he is going to get his revenge and just doesn't get it that to get nice things he has to behave. He doesn't seem to 'get it' that every time he is aggressive there will be a consequence he doesn't like. I had to shut him in his room earlier and he was hurling hard things at the door and shouting. I know I should be 'grown up' but I feel upset and down and feel that he 'doesn't like me anymore'.

I have no answers but will be interested in your responses.

DS aged 4 has become very physical recently and we have tried a number of options, ranging from sanctions like removing toys for a period of time, sitting on a step to reasoning with him i.e. agreeing that counting to 10 would be a good strategy when he felt angry.

Nothing is really working and it makes me sad that my lovely little boy is like this sometimes.

Does he have low sugar stuff containing Aspartame?
Or lots of (natural) orange based products?

Food colourings are an obvious one but worth double checking.

Be consistant and I don't mean to be rude but it can be easy to forget to praise when they are being like this. So if they are 'naughty' remind them what behaviour Mummy/Daddy likes. i.e Mummy likes it when you are kind to your sister.

Tired or low blood sugar?

Mitsubishi, I am wondering if I should believe it when other people say that artificial additives and sugar etc affect children so much because I often think it is just an excuse they use for their children's behaviour and that maybe they would behave like that anyway, BUT:

I collected my two DCs + 2 others to come and play at ours, from school, and they all walked home perfectly, did a bit of painting and role playing (the girls) and played with construction toys (the boys) really well, all getting along nicely. Then our boy visitor asked if they could watch a dvd and we all discussed nicely which one we would like to watch. All lovely up to that point, THEN, I gave them each a little pot of sweets. After that my DS started doing the things described in the OP.

Also, I had given them all Fruit Shoot type drinks with REDUCED SUGAR (so artificial sweeteners instead) and my DS had ORANGE flavour. He hadn't drank much of it til he sat down to watch the dvd and he drank it all then, and this was just before his violent behaviour started!

I do think praising good behaviour is important too (although I really didn't feel like it after what he did this pm), but I haven't done it the way you said - "Mummy likes it when you do x good thing" - I like that and will try it, thank you!

Do you think this proves that it IS the artificial additives fault then?

Pixie, I have heard of the testosterone thing as well and would like to reassure myself that this is what it is down to and is a phase that will pass. I just don't feel I can be sure though and I'm worried I'm doing something wrong or not doing something that I need to do. I hope it is just a phase. I know my DD didn't go through a phase like this. She has temper tantrum phases of shouting and behaving 'bratty' but not violence.

I agree with PixieOnaLeaf about testosterone - I read about this - apparently happens at 14 weeks in the womb, around age 4/5 and then again at 14. My DS's behaviour changed dramatically at age 4 and he became very angry which was totally out of character. We got a book called How to Behave So Your Children Will by Dr Sal Severe, and whilst it was all stuff we sort of knew, it just made us feel back in control. He came out the other end a couple of months later - don't know if was the hormone surge or our change of tactics with him (or a combo!) but he's now lovely again (most of the time!). Good luck and keep at it!

I don't know for sure OSAHM, But I think there is a link.

I know how the sugar rush affects me if I want an energy boost and then the drop when it has worn off, and they are such tiny wee things really. I definitely think if it doesn't cause the behaviour, it has the potential to magnify it a little.

This is from the HACSG website;
''The EU, from 20th July 2010 require all products containing the 6 colourings and preservative, Sodium Benzoate, to carry an extra label ?may have an adverse effect on Activity and Attention in Children?.

The six colourings are Tartrazine (E102), Quinoline Yellow(E104), Sunset Yellow (E110), Carmosine (E122), Ponceau 4R (E124) and Allura Red(E129). There are a further 12 Artificial colourings which the HACSG and others feel should be included but which were not studied in the Southampton Research.

The HACSG would like to see a ban on all Artificial Colourings, not just a warning label for six colours, but after 33 years I suppose we must still be patient and be grateful for the EU action taken so far.''

I also put DS on omega oils at about that age (omega 3 and 6).

Research Aspartame a bit (the sweetener they use to replace sugar) Or I will try to find the link to a very good thread about it on here. It's alarming.

found the link

It might not stop all behaviour but is worth a thought.

Thank you all