Day sleeps have stopped - help!

[kar2]

Hi
I need some advice. I have a little boy who has just turned 2 and just before his birthday he started to resist going into his cot for his day time nap (about 45 mins/1 hour). He sleeps in the day at nursery for about an hour still but won't sleep at home. He is so tired though and a pain all afternoon if he doesn't sleep. As soon as he gets near his cot he starts to cry and scream. I have tried leaving him for about 20 mins but then gone in to him as he gets himself into a bit of a state. If I take him out in the car he goes to sleep immediately of course. I am pregnant and soooo tired in the day and really need an hour's break - any ideas of what to do or have I lost the snooze forever!?
Thanks
K

Hi K,

My commiserations, 3 year old DS started dropping naps at home from around 2 1/2 - but like your DS would still sleep at nursery!

My cpoing strategies were:

1. Tire him out in the morning with lots of physical activity then have picnic lunch out and he'd fall asleep in the pushchair or car (and I could transfer him to bed at home)

1. When at home, have a quiet hour after lunch - duvet and DVD on the sofa for both of us. Gave me a chance to rest and he was far less of a pain in the afternoon if he'd rested.

HTH

My DD1, almost 2 now, still has her nap but refuses to have it in her bed. When she gets tired after lunch, I ususally let her watch a bit of TV and she will happily lie down on the sofa and fall asleep after a while.

I feel for you, my DS stopped his day time naps at about 20 months (but dilgently had them at nursery of course!). 'Whole heartedly agree with chicken in a basket' in that a morning out and a drive in the car is the only way he will sleep. If we are home we go upstaris to his bedroom and read books for 45 mins. Its not a sleep but does seem to be enough to recharge the happy batteries.
Doesn't help that much from your tiredness point of view though.

My DD did the same and I was pregnant too. I would leave him longer than 20 mins, 30 at least as it can take them that long to settle. Are you putting him down to early, try 30mins later? Can you put on a story CD when you put him in his cot?

My DD became an expert on jigsaws at the same age as I could lie on the sofa or floor at the same time.

I put DD in pre-school earlier than planned and I couldn't have survived without it.

As my DD has got older, her naps have got later. As Cranbury suggests, perhaps you could put him down for a nap 30 mins later than his usual time?

My dd does this and almost everytime I have been able to talk her into a nap. I ask her if she would like to do x y z and she says yes, do I reply we can do all that after a little sleep cause you be able to do it all if you've had a little sleep. And she says yes and keys me put get sleeping bag on. I think she wirtys it nighttime.

Thanks so much all of you for your comments. I tried going for a drive today and when he fell asleep I thought whizz back home and I'd transfer him into the cot. No chance AND I left him screaming for 35 mins to no avail. Grrrrr...will try putting him to sleep later though (although this is at 2pm already) and it feels nice to know others have been through the same. All my friends complain that their little ones only sleep an hour....! How I long for that now haha.
K

I second LoveBeing33's suggestion of talking him into a nap. I would promise my DD treats for after her nap (trip the park/ friend's house/ fruit pouch) and that seemed to work. Also I said that she didn't have to sleep if she didn't want to but she needed a rest and so had to stay in the cot but could "read" her books (i.e. look at the pictures) while there - she was almost always asleep within 10 mins.

try bribing. Say his eyelids need a rest even if he doesn't and when he's rested them say you'll do something he likes to do. Make a cake??????? or indeed settle him down to watch a favourite dvd at least he'll be resting.!!!!

Damson - on the times talking hasn't worked I have 'convinced' her to sit in her cot and play with some toys, I leave the door open and she does go to sleep. I'm so glad you do this as well I thought talking her into a sleep sounded a bit batty tbh. I have found that talking to her and explaining why is working for lots of things.

what time does he get up? it may be that he is overtired and putting him to bed ealier might be better. my DD is 2, she gets up between 6 and 7 and has her nap from 1 until 3.

I have tried the bribing already and either he's stupid (haha) or just doesn't understand it yet but I think he's got a think about his cot because as soon as I lower him in he starts to kick and scream so having 'quiet' time there as a few of you suggested doesn't work as he's in a state already.

He wakes at about 8am and goes to sleep about 7.30pm so sleeps really well at night so I can't complain about that at all, and at night he asks to go into his cot after he's had milk - very odd. I am thinking of going to a bed soon as the new baby arrives in Oct so maybe that'll help (or make things worse!).

You could try putting him down EARLIER - for a while my 2year old DS went down much easier at half 11 than he would at half 12 or 1 (don't really understand why but if it works it works!)

Or try putting him down on the sofa under a blanket for a while, till he gets over the hating sleep full stop thing - then he might accept his cot again?

Does he have a dummy or comforter?

My DD1 stopped her daytime nap at 18 months. We started a 'nest' after lunch instead which was a bottle of milk, a dummy and a dvd lying down on the sofa. She still has 'nests' now ocassionally if she's tired and she's 4 and a half. No bottle of milk or dummy though. Even though it's not a sleep, having a rest always pepped her up and kept her going till bed.

Hi there - thanks so so much. I am going to try these. Today we just sat in front of TV together for an hour and he rested but didn't sleep but it was a lot less stressful and he was on fine form all afternoon too (he didn't eat lunch but that's another story haha). The 'nest' idea is good - I'll try that but I'd love to keep him in his cot really so that I can then roam the house myself or do some gardening, etc...oh well.

My dd gave up napping entirely at 13 months old. If she's tired in the afternoon she has a sit down, a cuddle, maybe some books or a dvd and that's enough. I never forced the issue.

I've recently discovered the wonder of reverse psychology wrt naps (so instead of 'you look tired, would you like a sleep?' it's: 'oh no, you can't have a sleep now, i don't want you to'

Only works on days where he's really really tired but yesterday I got an unexpected 2 hours to myself

DS was 2.3 months and I too was pregnant....I bought a little duvet and pillow and popped it on the sofa next to me with the tv off and had it completely quiet and he had to either rest (and be quiet) or would often drop off. Once he stopped the nap he then moved to telly at lunchtime and still at nearly 4 has lunch and then when his sister goes to bed has telly until about 2.30 when we usually go out somewhere anyway - 2 days a week he goes to nursery but gave up sleep at nursery too quite early...
Sympathies - it was a massive shock to the system when the nap stopped. I'm hoping that as DS starts school in September DD doesn't take it upon herself to think she's stopping the naps !!