Son crying all of the time

[GooseyLoosey]

For the last 2 weeks, ds (who has just turned 7), bursts into tears at the slightest things and then takes hours to properly calm down. He got upset at tea time last night over a reading book and I was still trying to stop him crying when he was in bed 2 hours later.

I was trying to talk to him about what was the matter and why he was crying and he said (as he has before) that he doesn't know.

I have explained that the only reason I want to know is so that we can try and do something about it and whatever it is, I won't be cross. He swears that it is nothing to do with school or home.

He has not had an easy time socially at school and has on ocassion been very isolated. We have talked to school a lot and things have seemed to be getting better.

Don't know what to do now or what could be causing this. Any suggestions gratefully received.

Poor you and ds

Ds2 is very sensitive and quite emotional about things that ds1 wouldn't bat an eyelid at. I know when ds2 is tired he can get a bit stressed out and is more prone to upset. Could you perhaps take him out on his own (not sure if you have other dc) maybe to a cafe for a cake and have a general chat about life with him. Even just having special time alone with mum might cheer him up

Thanks - you are right about needing to spend time with him and without dd. I have been trying to, but maybe we need more.

My concern is that he is not crying in response to something which has actually happened, but that trivial things are bringing an underlying issue to the surface that I don't know how to get at or to help with.

Could you talk to your GP about it, she might be able to refer you on. I brought ds2 for a couple of sessions with a psychologist to sort out his (extreme) fussy eating. It was great, the approach she suggested was really sucessful and his behaviour really improved as a consequence. I would have no hesitation in bringing him back to her if another issue arose that I wasn't sure how to deal with.

ds1(6) behaviour has got even worse over the last week. we had wailing tears last night. 3 times. bathed him and ds2 and had them in bed by 6.40 pm.
i don't buy this 'he's tired' becasue its the end of term, to excuse all beahviour. but i do think he's tired. i said to dh, 'not that i'm condoniong or excusing his behaviour, but i do ALSO think he is very tired.'

I have wondered if it might be extreme tiredness too. He was ill a couple of weeks ago and I wonder if it might have knocked the stuffing out of him more than I thought. He's just so sad at the moment.

goosey, you think there is something else bothering him thta he is unable to express ?
ds tells me nothing. getting info about school is painful. other boys tell their mums everything. what is your ds like generally.

does sound like there is more to it than he is admitting can you get a grandma to talk to him????

Thanks for your suggestions, I have spent the last few days trying to gently talk to him and lay in bed with him for an hour last night chatting.

One of the things that emerged was that he absolutely hates the girl who looks after them after school. Apparently she tells him off all of the time for being naughty. I was aware that he did not like her, but previously when I asked him whether he preferred her or after school club he was adamant that she was better, but no longer.

I wonder if that could be the cause of so much upset? It is only for 1-2 hours 3x a week and he has only once got into trouble from us for something he did with her (ran off).

The other thing that I noticed was that he went to a party at the weekend and got into a fight with one of the boys there. When I asked why, he said it was because he wanted to be part of the group. We did of course discuss why this was wrong but I do wonder if he is generally struggling to integrate.

He has always been left out a bit but has been so exhuberant he has never seemed too bothered by it (although I have been). Perhaps it is getting to him now and if so, what should I do? I have lost track of the numger of ureciprocated play dates I have arranged. Have talked to school in depth about it. What is left?

Don't know what answers I expect really, but writing it down helps to put some perspective on it.

Can I resurrect this and ask for more advice?

My son now says that he is so unhappy at school that he dreads going in and wants to get himself expelled. He is crying more and more. He says he is "so full of unhappiness and anger" that he can't keep it inside.

We have talked to the school lots about issues that ds has in terms of being socially isolated and whilst they have been sympathetic, little has actually changed. He wants to be friends with other children, but annoys them. Do you think I should talk to the school again and what, if anything, do you think I should say?

I am wary of being dismissed as a maternal nutter but am desperate to make my son happier.

Does he do any out of school activities where he sees different children from those on school...

My DD was a bit like this although not so extreme, but did feel that she was 'round peg in square hole' at school and still does to an extent.. but has new out of school friends through karate and a drama group both of which have made a huge difference to her outlook... she can now 'get through' the rough at school as she's looking forward to the positives later in the week...

I tend to find she makes friends more quickly with these children as they are more inclined to be like her and have similar interests, rather than just the people she's at school with

My Dd is very sensitive and I have found a book "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine Aron is really good, it's very readable and offers lots of solutions both at home and school.

Thanks for the response. Yes he does lots but they have not really helped. He favourite was football but that was with people from school and at the last match they all made up a horrid chant about him which made him cry.

I don't know what I am looking for really, but keep hoping that there will be a solution out there somewhere.

Will have a look at that - he is over sensitive and takes offence at ridiculous things. I talked to some of the football parents and asked them if they could find out from their children what it was about ds that made them act the way they did and one suggested that it was because it was esay to get a reaction from him.

Would you consider moving him? If he is that upset perhaps another school would suit him better. Poor DS and you . It's awful to think he's so unhappy isn't it.

I spent considerable time yesterday asking him if he wanted to move school. I would consider anything. He is adamant that he does not - I think he is scared by the unknown and the idea that it would not be better. I don't really want to over rule his very clear preference but am not sure its the right decision.