Fighting over toys

[Pierrette]

My two girls, 2 & 1, and just 12 months between them, fight over toys from dawn to dusk. I'm not sure how to deal with it. We have tried getting 2 of their favourite toys (2 prams, 2 baby dolls etc), but still each always wants what the other has. The younger (18 months) is very assertive and constantly grabs and pushes to get what she wants, the older one just howls (and sometimes hits back). They do play together too but it never lasts very long! I try to encourage sharing, but I know this is a foreign concept to the toddler. Any advice?!

Nope... but I'll be interested if anyone comes along with any!!

I have a (just) 2YO and a 10MO old and they have recently started wanted the same thing at the same time.

I actually don't think having 2 of everything would work.. they just want what the other has!!!

I'm not sure that I'm best placed to advise, but I've observed that 2yo is a tricky time for possessiveness (seen in my DD when playing with friends at that age, not a sibling). My only thought is that they do seem to grow out of it, I'd consider it to be a phase. Not helpful for you atm though!! Prob best just to keep on with distraction techniques meanwhile, poss also a large glass of wine (well maybe not before breakfast )

Book on sibling rivalry by Faber and Mazlich can be of help to improve a bit the situation. Like Bubsbaw say it is also part of their developement, maybe the book will hel[ to tech them skills to get out of this phase quicker, Good luck!

You probably won't have much luck encouraging sharing, try to encourage turns at this age. IE "Alice, wait, it's Bella's turn." "Bella, let Alice have a turn now. Alice's turn. Good girls." etc etc. My 18 month old has cottoned on to this surprisingly well!

If it gets too much, then can you split them up? i.e. play in different rooms?

I was tearing my hair out the other day (DD1 2.9 and DD2 1yr, so not as bad as your gap admittedly), and asked my mum how on earth she dealt with me and my brother. She just said breezily, different rooms, problem solved. I have yet to try it, but even the threat of it seems to work with DD1 (so she must secretly like having DD2 around!).

my kids are the same, i find if i leave them to it they usually sort it out themselves, but im never far away if it gets out of hand

I would favor Sibling Rivalry too here.

What I did with mine was to stay with them and teach them to swap toys around (Oh dd1 you want the doll. Shall we swap that doll for that one with dd2. Cue to offer the other one to dd2 and give the first one ack to dd1).
I also made clear that if the the doll was dd2 then dd1 couldn't take it away from her.

If they got physical, (hitting etc) I've been separating them (2 different rooms).

It seems to have worked with mines.

BTW, I believe that at that age they are too young to 'sort it out by themselves'. I think they need to be led by example and be showned what to do first. Otherwise, it's the 'strongest' one (not always the oldest) who always gets its way which teaches them all the wrong idea.

reading with interest - mine are 1 and 3 and actually it seems that they squabble more when I am around. I seem to be included in the toy category that is worth fighting over It's been reported that when I'm away they play together like little angels...

BTW my girls are now 5 & 4 and leaving them to sort it out themselves at that age worked fine... each situation is different. so its whatever works best for you and your kids...